Holding On
by crayon115
Summary: Takes place after Worlds Apart  Season 2 finale .   Payson still loves Sasha, but knows he'll never love her. Still, she breaks up with Max. She wonders, is she right about Sasha? And maybe, could they possibly figure out a way to hold on each other?
1. Goodbye and Hello

Payson was leaving the gym after a long day of training. Her muscles ached, and she felt like whining, but she told herself to stop being stupid. After she won gold in London, all the pain would be worth it. "Wait, Payson!" Max called, breathless, running to catch up with her. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Make it quick, though, Becca is waiting for me at home."

"I don't think this is a 'make it quick' type of conversation," he said. "Could I come by your house later?"

"If you want," she responded with a smile. "Phoebe will be excited."

"Yeah," he said, laughing. "See you later."

"Bye." She watched him go, and a sudden fear crept up her neck. Her gymnastics may have improved since she met him, but what if she let this relationship go too far? He could cross the line from a benefit into a distraction very easily, and was she really being fair to him if the only reason she wanted to be with him was so her sport could improve?

Payson shrugged the feeling off. It wasn't a good idea to be worried while driving. Lauren's accident was constantly on her mind. She had known Lauren for years, and no matter how difficult she could be, she was a friend. Another thing that bothered her was that Max was the one who had been injured, but Payson had been more worried about Lauren than she had been about the boy she had confessed her "love" to.

She did love Max. She did, really. Didn't she? A thought occurred to her. No matter how many times she told people her feelings were Sasha for gone, she knew in the back of her mind it was a lie. When he had pulled away from her kiss and she had realized what she'd done, she was mortified and incredibly hurt. She ran away to scold herself, but when she was alone all she could do was cry.

Then Max came along. And he liked her, maybe even loved her, and there was no question about it. She didn't have to constantly worry about it. She could just be with him, without any real complications.

With Sasha there would be complications. No matter if they stayed together for years, people would still say that no decent man would chase after a minor, and if they weren't careful enough he could end up in prison. Not to mention her gymnastics. If the NGO were to find out before the Olympics, both their careers would be over.

_And he doesn't even love you_, Payson thought.For a while she had been the center of his attention, until Lauren started struggling. Then suddenly he was with _her_ all the time. She wasn't special to him anymore, it seemed, and that hurt even more. Max was a comfort, he bandaged her wounds until she went to the gym and saw him speak to Summer, and the injuries split open again. Summer was to him what Max could be to her, if she wasn't already swept away by Sasha's current. No complications, the ideal relationship. If only she could have that with Max.

She reached home. The instant she opened the door, Becca was there, hands on her hips. "What?" Payson asked.

"You know what."

"Oh. Phoebe?"

"YES! She chewed up my favorite shoes, AGAIN! I'm at the gym _all the time, _so when I actually _have plans _I want to wear the shoes that I like the best! It's _your _job to make sure Phoebe doesn't get in my room, and it's my job to make sure she doesn't go in your room. Has Phoebe ever gotten into your room and chewed _your _favorite shoes, Payson, has she?"

"No, Becca, but your door doesn't have a lock. She can just jump up against it and get in. I'm sorry! Why do you care about those shoes anyway?"

"_They were a gift._"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!"

"Fine, I forgive you. I can't be mad at Phoebe; she's so cute, so I guess I figure I have to be mad at you, so I'm sorry too."

Payson laughed and gave her sister a hug. "It's okay. How about…" Max rapped on the door. "Already?" she asked, confused and a little irritated. She had wanted to call Kaylie to talk about her situation with Austin, but she plastered a smile on her face and opened the door. Becca went to her room. "Hi," Payson greeted him.

"Hey, I just couldn't wait to see you." Payson felt badly for being annoyed. He was so sweet; she just wished she felt more for him. When she had told him she loved him she had been upset to see the look on Sasha's face when Summer announced her upcoming marriage. She hugged him, and knew she had to end things eventually; she just didn't want to lose his friendship. She valued it like she valued her relationship with Kaylie or Lauren or even Kelly Parker.

"Do you want to come in?" she offered, going to sit on the sofa. "I actually wanted to talk to you too." He brightened.

"Well, great, because I have a lot to tell you. Listen, Pay…"

"Payson," she corrected. "Only Kaylie and Lauren call me Pay." She winced at how harsh she sounded. "Never mind, I just like my real name better," she said in a softer tone. "And Max, I know what you're going to tell me." He looked completely taken aback.

"You do? Who told you?"

"Nobody had to tell me. We both know it isn't going to work this way." He jumped off of the couch, a hurt expression in his eyes. "Listen…" she started.

"No, you listen, _Payson._" She hated how angrily he said her name, but let him continue. "If you don't want to be with me just because I'm _bi, _then maybe I don't want to be with you either. I knew you'd be upset, but I thought it would be because I didn't tell you, not because…"

"Wait, Max, you're _bi?" _

"Yes. Isn't that what…?"

They both looked at each other for a moment. Max looked at her, and seemed to understand where this would head. His head hung, and he laughed a little, recalling Denver, when he showed her the video of her floor routine. Payson had said that a "good friend" had showed her how beautiful she was. "Lucky guy," he'd responded, but when he came to Boulder and Payson wasn't seeing anyone, he thought he might have had a chance.

Then he saw clearly. He wasn't superior to this guy; he was just a consolation because Payson _couldn't have _who she really wanted to be with. She was a good person. She wouldn't break up with him because of something like being bi. She would break up with him for a good reason. He only wished this good reason wouldn't hurt so much.

"I've been horrible to you," she said. "I really wanted to love you. I thought if I told you I did I could forget…"

"That you didn't," he finished her sentence. She nodded regretfully. "Well," Max sighed. "Being friends worked pretty well for a while, didn't it?" Payson smiled and nodded again. "I don't know about you, but I kind of liked it," he joked. She punched his shoulder playfully.

"Me too, Max, me too."

"So could we still…" Payson cut him off by hugging him. "Okay," he laughed. "I guess that's a yes." Inside he knew he would never be satisfied with friendship, but he didn't want to be anybody's second choice, even if that person was as wonderful as Payson.

Max stood to go, and Payson walked him out. "See you tomorrow," she said.

"You will," he countered.

Instead of replying with a witty comeback like she usually would, Payson only raised a hand and closed the door. She went to go call Kaylie, a little pain in her chest as she walked into her room. She just broke up with the best boyfriend ever for a man that would never love her. Even knowing this, she couldn't help but hold on to that little pinprick of hope she held in her mind. If Sasha wanted her, he could then have her and despite all the other barriers between them, there was then one less.

"Hey," Kaylie said, "I'm really glad you called."

"I'm really glad you answered," Payson quipped.

"Listen, Pay, you really need to break up with Max." Putting her hand on the receiver, she faced Austin, who was sitting next to her in the Cruz's living room. "What?" she asked.

"Kaylie, you have to listen to me…" he said.

"Hello?" Payson said into the phone.

"I'm here," Kaylie said, mouthing to Austin "One minute."

"Listen, Kaylie, I already broke up with Max five minutes ago."

"Oh no, are you okay?" Kaylie immediately asked. "I never should have said anything."

"Kaylie," Austin said, "Max isn't gay!"

"What?" Kaylie asked him.

"He's bi," Austin explained.

"Oh my gosh," she said, putting the phone against her ear again to listen to Payson.

"That's okay," Payson said to her, laughing a little. "Max and I are still going to be friends. But, just curious, why did you think I needed to break up with him?"

"Because he kissed Austin," she answered, "but Austin just told me he's not gay. I thought he was gay."

"He's bi," Payson said, "and that's not why I broke up with him," she quickly added.

"Well, of course not, you would never do that," Kaylie said, "but just curious, why did you?"

_"PAYSON," _Becca screamed, "_HELP ME PICK OUT MY EARRINGS FOR RACHEL'S HOUSE!" _

"Sorry, Kaylie, I have to go," Payson said quickly, "but I'll see you tomorrow."

"Well, okay, but…" The line went dead. Austin looked at Kaylie expectantly.

"What did she say?" he asked.

"She broke up with Max, but not because he's bi."

"She knows he's bi?"

"Yeah, but that's not why."

"Well, then why did she break up with him?"

"She didn't say."

"Poor Max," he said.

"Poor Payson," she answered, leaning in to kiss him lightly. A thought struck her. "Wait a minute," she said, "didn't you help Payson when she had to switch routines with Lauren?"

"Yeah," he said. "She said she didn't want to impress anybody, but…"

"We all assumed she wanted to impress Max anyway," Kaylie finished. "But Austin, think about it, who is the only other boy in the gym that would really be paying attention to her routine besides Max?"

"Me?" he inquired.

"No," she said, wondering how boys could be so clueless, "Sasha!"


	2. Sasha's Point of View

The next day at the gym, Sasha focused on Kelly for a change. She was a strong gymnast, but fearful at the same time. Her mother was the biggest thing she worried about, Sasha knew, and it was his job to help her forget that horrible women. Sasha didn't understand these mothers. It seemed Kim Keeler was the only sensible one in the bunch. If your daughter does well, then good for her, and if not, so be it. If failure happens, console your child. Chances are she felt just as badly as you did. "Don't add salt to their wounds," he told them, "it makes them harder to train."

That's what these mothers understood, it seemed, all those little clichés. "Practice makes perfect" was a favorite among them. Use one of those stupid little phrases and they'll understand, but never question their parenting or they'll pull their child away from you and find another coach. That's what Sasha feared the most. He loved his gymnasts more than he loved himself (and that was saying a lot). His job was to be a third (and to some, second) parent to them. He was the parent that understood why they couldn't be normal teenagers, why they couldn't go to a party every once in a while or have a social life away from the gym. Sasha was the parent that healthily pushed them, but knew each of their individual limits. He was the parent that didn't "want for them what he could never had" because he'd had it. He'd reached their ultimate goal, so generally they respected him. For the most part, in his years in coaching, he'd received pretty much the same treatment from all his gymnasts. They respected him, sometimes even feared him, and behaved as such. That was how he liked it.

Then Payson Keeler came along. Sasha remembered his first day at the gym as Kelly flicked her hands up on the beam. "Smile, Kelly!" he ordered. "A judge's favorite thing of all is teeth! _Show them your teeth, Kelly!"_ Payson had run to the car as he got inside to leave, disgusted with what he expected of him. _"Mr. Belov, wait!" _she had yelled. He recognized her easily. She was the focused, determined girl he watched on his television at home. The girl that stuck every landing, and the girl he really, _really_ wanted to coach. She was Payson Keeler.

What he had gotten wasn't what he was expecting. He expected focused and determined, but he didn't expect stubborn and feisty. Payson Keeler was the girl who questioned authority whenever and wherever she thought necessary, the girl who looked at him like "Why should I listen to you?" and the girl who was so breathtakingly beautiful he couldn't look away. Then she broke her back. He had run to her, and never before giving religion a second thought he prayed that she would open her eyes. And she did. And he used every spare second he had researching, calling doctors, praying every night that she would be okay. And she was. Summer didn't make Sasha think about his beliefs, because she insisted that hers were right, and he knew he wouldn't be able to change her mind no matter what he thought or said. Payson made him think about his beliefs because he wanted to use every available resource to make her happy. And then she kissed him.

It was a shock. It was incredible. He pushed her off; because no matter how often he had longed for her he knew it was impossible for him to kiss her back. She should have been with someone like that boy Nicky Russo, whom Sasha had hated but still knew Nicky would have been a better choice for Payson than him. Sasha didn't want Payson to go through the stares, whispers, and the "She needs to wake up and smell the roses. He doesn't love her! He's using her!" That she would hear so often. He feared if she heard that often enough, she would start to believe it.

He also devoted every day to her dream. He couldn't let that slip away just because he loved her. He didn't deny this. Sasha had thought every day about what it would feel like to ask her to marry him, and then to hear her say "Yes!" and then kissing her, this time not pulling away. He hoped some day that would be possible, but he knew how young she was, how quickly she would find someone else, and how fast she would forget about him.

Sasha tried to love Summer. He told Summer he loved her because he wanted to try to forget that he loved Payson. He wanted to do what was right for Payson, and he had believed that letting her go would give her the opportunity to succeed without having to worry about what her parents would say if they knew or how he would affect her future. It was when Summer told him he was a good man that he realized how wrong he was in thinking this. He was not a good man for lying.

Sasha used to be able to count on one hand the number of times he had cried in his life. When he watched Payson at Worlds Trials, that one hand turned into two. He cried because of how much he loved her, how beautiful she was, and how bright her future could be without him. Then he left. And then she chased after him, calling him a coward, leaving him. Then Summer came, telling him she didn't mean it. She just missed him. And then Sasha followed Payson back to the United States, where he was then, telling Kelly to try a different mount on her beam, to make it stronger.

"That will take weeks to learn…" Kelly sounded a little skeptical.

"We can do it," Sasha assured her. "We just need to work, and I will be there every step of the way until we get it."

"Are you sure it'll be worth it?" she asked, still not convinced. He sighed. Kelly had never questioned his judgment before, but he knew exactly how to reassure her.

"Close your eyes," he said. "Now imagine you mounting, and landing on the beam the way we have been doing, no changes."

"Okay," she said, and Sasha could see her visualizing it.

"Now imagine yourself mounting the way I suggested, landing on the beam, _smiling_," he added, to kill two birds with one stone, "and landing perfectly, and your mother clapping, thinking that the judges are idiots if they don't medal you, and for _once_," he looked at her meaningfully, "being right."

"Okay," Kelly repeated, swinging her arms back and forth to stretch them and exhaling. "I trust you."

Sasha felt Payson's eyes on him. He always could. He gripped Kelly's shoulders, acknowledging her, and turned in the direction of Payson's gaze. She was in her signature color, purple, and her hair in the flawless bun it was always in for training. "Hey, Sasha, can you watch my floor?"

"Of course," Sasha said; his head a little bit fuzzy. Payson's floor was gorgeous; it just hadn't been at Worlds. Her one foot landing on vault had made up for it, and Sasha had no problem with the way she performed. Because of her vault, they won the gold. The only issue was that whenever Sasha watched her floor, he fell in love with her all over again, which sounded incredibly cliché to him, but he couldn't deny it was true. From start to finish Payson captivated him. That didn't affect his coaching; he picked out the flaws and helped her correct them. He knew when it wasn't right, and he was more than upset when it was mediocre, maybe 2% of the time, because he knew how wonderful it could be.

As Sasha watched her, he suddenly realized something. This was better than it had been at Worlds Trials. This was the best it had ever been. Payson moved so gracefully and elegantly, she was joyful but earnest and delicate at the same time. Her hands moved like the leaves on a tree when it was windy outside, her eyelids fluttered like the wings of a butterfly, just as he taught her. Her cheeks were rosy, as pink as the flower. She looked like springtime. Something had changed in her; she had a sudden epiphany, maybe, some slight alteration in her mindset that made her a vision again. If that had been an Olympic performance, she would have taken gold. Payson had a heart of gold, he thought. She was one of a kind. A girl like her would only come around once in a lifetime. He realized he had just thought "girl" and not "gymnast" as he would've with any of the others. This wasn't bad, after all, she was a girl, and he just knew personally he would never think of the others individually the way he did Payson. In their sport, he judged quality. Individually, he judged character. Payson had the character he fell in love with. As she folded herself together at the end and the music slowed to a stop, Sasha clapped. "Excellent," he said. "Honestly, Payson, that was beautiful. I've never seen anything like it. If you were at the Olympics right now, you would medal gold."

He was grinning, but he noticed that Payson was looking at him in a different way. He looked around. Everyone, especially Lauren, was looking at him oddly. "What?" he asked.

"Sasha," Payson said, "you're…crying."

He touched his face. She was right, as usual. His fingertips were wet, soaked, actually. He was bawling, and he couldn't even hear it in his voice. _It's as if my eyes have a mind of their own, _he thought.

"That's really…strange," Payson remarked. "Your voice sounds exactly as it usually does, your expression is the same, and it's only your eyes. They're crying, but the rest of you aren't. It's almost like…" she trailed off. "Your eyes…have a mind of their own."

Sasha was speechless. He was still smiling. He didn't know what to do; in fact, he didn't really know what had happened. How could she have been thinking the exact same thing as him, seconds after he had thought it himself? That was impossible to him. No one had ever understood him the way Payson had. Lauren cleared her throat. Sasha wanted to beat her to the punch because he knew whatever she had to say couldn't be anything beneficial.

"Well…" he said in unison with Payson. They had started their sentence the exact same way, both thinking that no matter what Lauren said it would cause an argument. They stared at each other. Max had a sudden epiphany. _Sasha made her feel beautiful, _he thought. _He's the guy Payson was talking about in Denver. He's the guy I'll never be able to beat. _

The atmosphere in the room wasn't awkward, it was more uncertain. Kaylie felt satisfied with herself. She had been right. Payson still loved Sasha. The only thing she didn't know was whether Sasha felt the same. Austin hadn't believed her, but then he felt stupid not to.

"Alright," Sasha said, breaking the daze, "back to training. Payson's floor was amazing, but now it's over. There's nothing to see here!" Everyone broke apart into their separate groups, Kim Keeler giving her daughter a proud look before disappearing from Sasha's view. Lauren's eyebrows were raised. She went to go stretch. Sasha walked over to Payson, leaning down to murmur in her ear, "My office?" It was the only time he had ever asked anybody to go to his office. It was usually a bark, an order. Payson nodded, and he opened the door for her then closed it behind him.

"So," she said, "you cried."

"Yes," he answered. "I did." There was a moment of silence before Payson responded,

"Why?"

_"Why?" _Sasha repeated. The word sounded so strange to him. Wasn't it clear to her? "Well, Payson, because you were…are…" he could only think of one word to finish the sentence, "beautiful."

"Beautiful things make you cry?" Payson asked, amused.

"I think what we should be asking," Sasha started, "is what caused that wonderful floor."

"I was just happy. I haven't been that happy since…"

"Since…?" Sasha asked. He was curious.

"Since before you pushed me away," Payson answered softly.


	3. Firey Eyes

Payson looked at Sasha. When his eyes were locked with hers, she saw the intensity that lurked beneath his hard exterior, like something pacing behind a desk. He cared deeply about things, she knew, things that she longed for him to tell her about. She knew she could listen to him for days, hear his accent. She could lean her head against his shoulder as he whispered in her ear about faraway places. He was a mix of three different cultures, only one she was familiar with. England was his voice, the tones and the patterns that rung in her ear as his mouth made words. America was his appearance, the way he dressed, the way she visualized him when she closed her eyes, and Romania was his mind, the way he thought about things, the decisions that he made, the ones that determined which way he would turn. She wanted to break through his outer walls, knock the barriers down that he so meticulously put up. Payson wanted to be an exclusive member of his club. She needed to have him there beside her when she was sad or lonely. She wanted him to answer the door, lead her inside, to let her explore the inner workings of his mind. They were both silent. They didn't want this to break, this, just standing near one another, alone, lost in each other's gaze.

All he wanted was to tell her. If he just told her, he thought, things could change. They wouldn't have to tiptoe around the situation anymore, like two little children up past their bedtime. They would talk about things, he decided; let the mental need overshadow the physical until after the Olympics. Could he do that? He didn't know, and that scared him. He was the leader, the general in the army. He was supposed to be able to come up with a plan on the spot, be able to trust his decisions, whether they were carefully thought out or merely just whims. There, looking at her, he understood her determination, her focus. The firey eyes that gazed upon him were made to dare people to come closer. All the choices he made, the ones he decided upon while with Payson were the most important, he decided. If he took the dare, came closer, it would be exhilarating, exactly what he needed. He needed her, he needed her to sit next to him on a sofa and tell him about her day, he needed her beside him at the movie theater, he wanted her hugs to be the ones that relaxed and comforted him after a long day. He wanted to cook her meals, hold her hair back when she had the stomach flu, help her decide between red shoes or green shoes, and remind her when she forgot things. He didn't just need her; he also required her to need _him_ just as much. Sasha didn't know if he could trust himself. He only knew that he could trust Payson to hold his hand when they jumped off the cliff they were approaching.

They both trusted each other. That, in itself, is a rare thing. Sasha didn't trust many people, in fact, he couldn't think of one other person he depended on more. Payson had a strong support system at home. She had a mother, a father, and a sister whom she loved dearly. Her family wasn't complete, though, not without Sasha. That's who he was, she decided, a crucial member of her family.

They had been standing there, looking at each other, for five minutes. That doesn't seem like a long time, but it is if you're just staring at another person. Sasha wondered who would speak first. It was Payson, of course. She was braver, he had to admit. She was 100% bravery, he might've been 85.

"Sasha," she murmured softly. Her whisper sounded to him like wind. Payson couldn't think of the words that would describe how she was feeling. She was a gymnast, not a poet, the only thing she could muster was something she heard her mother say to her father the day he had to leave for Minnesota the very first time.

"Don't be afraid," she told him, "whatever happens."


	4. Payson at a Party?

The Rocky Awards were fast approaching. Lauren was again searching to be voted "Most Popular" two years in a row, and she convinced her father to talk to Sasha about an idea she had. "A pool party," Steve proposed, dramatically waving his hands in the air, "brought to you by the Tanners. One Sunday the whole gym can come to the country club that we rent for the day, and we can swim and…"

"You rent out the _country club?" _Sasha asked, more than a little skeptical.

"Private party," Mr. Tanner said, as though it should be obvious. "Lauren and I made flyers." Sasha took one, looked it over. It was pink and sparkly, not surprisingly, with a big picture of Lauren lying in a beach chair next to the water, a tropical looking drink in her hand. "_THE ROCK POOL PARTY!" _the headline read, and underneath:

"_Lauren Tanner is hereby inviting YOU and all your gym friends to the Boulder Country Club for a POOL PARTY, Sunday July 3__rd__. Pack your cutest suit and don't forget the sunscreen! Swimming is a GREAT way to spend your day off from training, and don't forget to vote LAUREN TANNER for "MOST POPULAR" at this year's Rocky Awards!" _

"No," Sasha said simply. "Absolutely not," he repeated.

"Come on, Sasha; let the girls have a little fun. They train so hard."

"No," he said again.

"Well, I wouldn't even have to ask your permission if it didn't include members of the National Team, me being head of the Parents Board…" Sasha rolled his eyes, "…but since Lauren _is _on the National Team and so are Kaylie, Payson, and Kelly, and they _are _her closest friends…" Steve sighed.

"Why should I even consider letting my elite go to a _party?" _

"Worlds is over, Sasha. There isn't a major meet for at least a month, it's on their day off, and they just won _gold _against both of our rival teams! Let them celebrate a little!"

Sasha sighed. He thought it over a little. Swimming _was _a good way to build muscle, it was exercise that the gymnasts needed to stay fit, and he could attend as well to make sure there was no inappropriate behavior between the girls and the boys, or inappropriate behavior in general. He couldn't care less about whether Lauren won or not, but if the party was successful it might put her in a better mood, which made her gymnastics better. "Fine," he relented, "but there have to be ground rules."

"Of course," Steve agreed, looking elated.

"There has to be one main area, I won't have them wandering about the whole country club where who knows what could happen."

Steve nodded. "Of course, the pool will be the only area."

"Good. Now, we can't be the only adults. At least one parent per child has to come too."

"Doesn't that seem…?"

"If you want to have the party," Sasha warned.

"Okay, okay, what else is there?" Steve relented.

"No bikinis."

"Sasha, some of these girls don't own anything other than bikinis that they could wear."

"Fine," Sasha conceded. "There will be lifeguards?"

"Of course," Mr. Tanner said. "I'm a certified lifeguard myself." Sasha bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"I don't want any injuries, so no running, no Sharks and Minnows, no diving boards…"

"No _diving boards?" _Steve interrupted.

Sasha ignored him. "Scratch that, no diving at all. Heads can be hit."

"They aren't going to dive in the _shallow end, _Sasha."

"Fine," he gave in. "They have to dive in no less than ten feet deep."

"Alright," Steve agreed. "That's fair. No more, though, that's enough. They do have common sense; they know what's good for their gymnastics and what isn't. One more thing," he added. Sasha narrowed his eyebrows. "Can we serve cupcakes?" Mr. Tanner asked. "Because…"

If looks could kill, Steve Tanner would be dead on the floor. "Alright," he sighed. "No cupcakes."

Payson looked at the flyer in disgust. No way was she going to some stupid pool party, especially if Max was going to be there. She didn't want him to see her in a swimsuit, not this soon after they broke up. She might have been being silly, but she wasn't taking any chances. Becca was so excited. She squealed with all of her friends and jumped up and down.  
>"I can't believe it!" she exclaimed. "Sasha is actually letting us have a <em>life!" <em>

"It's just a party," Payson muttered. "Not exactly a lifestyle."

"I can't believe you're _complaining," _Becca said. "This is the best thing that's happened since Phoebe!"

"And that was what?" Payson asked. "Three weeks ago?"

"Shut up," Becca said. "You are not going to spoil this for me. And don't even think you're not going."

"I'm not!" Payson insisted. "It's a petty indulgence. I can't deal with distractions right now."

"Oh you can't? What did you do last Sunday?"

Payson's shoulders drooped. She had her. "Watched movies," she muttered.

"Not even exercise!" Becca said in mock horror. "Whatever shall we do?"

"Be quiet!" Payson cried. "At least it was educational! It's not like sitting around in a bikini reading a magazine, hoping boys will notice me like _you'll _be doing."

"We're going shopping for new swimsuits," Becca said, grapping her sister's wrist and dragging her out of the house. "Where are your car keys?"

"Bec_ca_," Payson whined.

"Silence," Becca ordered. "You are going to this party! If you love me at all, you will give in!"

_"Mom _has to come," Payson muttered. "I don't want to be in anything," her lip curled in disgust, "_sexy." _Payson acted like she had just said the words "serial killer".

Becca rolled her eyes. "Like that would be so bad! Your body is amazing."

"No it isn't!" Payson insisted.

"Here," Becca said, handing her sister her keys. "Drive."

"Fine," Payson sighed, getting in the car.

"No way," Becca said, pushing her sister back in the dressing room.

"What's wrong with this?" Payson asked, looking at her modest one piece in approval.

"Payson," Becca sighed. "You look like a…"

"Like a competitive, serious gymnast?" Payson suggested.

Becca scoffed. "I was going to say _nun." _She picked up the two-piece she had snuck into the changing rooms. "Try this," she said, tossing the bathing suit to her sister.

"Becca, I cannot try this on!" Payson dropped it immediately like it had burned her skin.

"Just indulge me," Becca pleaded. "At least it's not a bikini. It'll only show a _little _stomach." She pinched her fingers together so they were only a hair apart.

"Fine," Payson conceded, "but I am _not _buying it." She changed into the suit, opening the curtain to show Becca without even glancing at how she looked in the mirror first. "There," she said, crossing her arms stubbornly, "you saw it. Now can we leave?"

"Oh, _Payson," _Becca gasped. "You're a vision!"

Payson rolled her eyes. "You say that like it's a wedding dress."

"No, seriously, you look so _toned." _Becca spun her around, showing Payson herself in the mirror. "It's such a great color on you." And it was. It was ironically Payson's signature color, purple. The neckline wasn't too deep, but enough to make a few heads turn. Becca had been lying about the stomach. Payson admitted it wasn't a bikini, but her belly button showed enough to make her face turn crimson. The bottoms had embroidery around their perimeter, and Payson thought that was a little too much. Still, she felt…different, and not in a bad way, either. She felt a little like a vision, like a model in a catalog, and she didn't dislike the feeling like she thought she would. "What do you think?" Becca asked. "Can we buy it?"

"Well…" Payson thought about Max's face when he saw her in this, and she almost said no. Then she thought about Sasha's face, and a grin spread on her lips like butter. When Becca saw that smile she almost did a double take. "Sure, why not?" Payson said, which she couldn't remember saying before in her life, ever. Becca squealed for the second time that day, which she couldn't remember doing before in her life, ever. She was a generally earnest person, but when she thought about her sister actually looking like a _normal girl _when she went to the pool, she felt like shrieking a third time. Their family went to the pool a lot, but all Payson's swimsuits were extremely conservative. She didn't want the wrong kind of attention, Becca knew, but she couldn't help being excited that her sister was going to look normal, like all the other girls!

The day of the party came. Payson put on the suit, and almost took it off when she thought about appearing to all her friends in it, but when she imagined Becca's disappointed look, and the huge amount of money she spent on it, she decided it would be silly not to wear it at least once. She couldn't help putting on her most conventional cover up before she came out from her room.

Becca was in a yellow polka dot bikini, her favorite of many other swimsuits that were incredibly loud and made Payson blush even thinking about. Kim Keeler didn't even bat an eye at her daughter's new suit, it was hidden well behind the cover up, but she did drape an arm around Payson's shoulders, and told her she looked beautiful. She wanted her daughter to _feel_ beautiful, no matter what was on her back. Becca raised her eyebrows at the cover up, but she didn't want to press the issue. Payson would always be Payson, she thought, no matter what she tried to say.

The Boulder Country Club was huge. A receptionist with a bandage on her nose pointed them in the direction of the pool. Payson hoped she wouldn't leave the pool with bandages on her face. She walked slower, because she was terrified of injuring herself. The cast iron tables and chairs that were by the pool were unstable, so Payson avoided them and sat on the pool chairs. Max, his cast newly off, was already in the water with Austin. Lauren, in a bright red and dangerously low cut bikini with huge white sunglasses perched on her nose, waved Payson over to the area on the edge of the pool near the eleven feet mark where Kaylie and Kelly were sitting with her. Sasha, a stern look on his face, was sulking by the refreshment table where he monitored their behavior.

"Take your cover up off, Payson!" Lauren said, "Or are you cold?"

"No, I'm fine, thanks," Payson responded, clinging tightly to her bag. Becca, in the water with her friends, gave her sister a look that said, _"Do it." _Payson sighed, and took it off. Kim Keeler's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, and she was so happy she ran over to hug her daughter so tightly Payson wheezed. "Mom," she groaned, "you're embarrassing me."

"Sorry," she said, "it's just, you look like a supermodel!" Her mother walked away to whisper with Summer. Payson could feel ten more pairs of eyes watching her. She focused her vision on a tree in the distance. She would not meet Lauren, Kaylie, Kelly, Max, or Sasha's, (especially Sasha's) gaze. She sighed, and figured the only way not to acknowledge them was to join her sister in the pool. Becca met her eyes and mouthed, "Dive". Payson shook her head, thinking _no way. _She didn't want to give them even more to see. Becca nodded vigorously, and her sister halfheartedly swan dived into the pool. The splash was practically nonexistent, but the multiple splashes that followed where deafening. All the girls had joined her in the pool. Party music was playing over the speakers. Payson laughed when Kaylie took her hand and danced around in the water, singing the lyrics in her friend's ear. _Well, it's supposed to be a party, _Payson thought. She danced along with her friend. Max had disappeared, and Austin pulled Kaylie underwater, away from Sasha's line of vision, and kissed her underwater. Not that Sasha was watching.

He was looking at the other beautiful girl in the water, who was laughing at something Lauren had said. Payson looked not like a model, he thought, something more along the lines of a goddess. It wasn't just the outside of her that was striking, but the fact that she was so extremely _happy _made her glow even more. He recalled the day she had told him not to be afraid. "Afraid of what?" he had thought, but not he knew. Afraid of his impulse to jump in the pool and kiss her underwater just as Austin had with Kaylie. While Payson was there the fact that Austin had done so barely even bothered him. Barely, he certainly had noticed, and would give them a tongue lashing later.

Still, he couldn't take his eyes away from her. All of the parents, including Steve Tanner, Ronnie Cruz, and Kelly Parker's mother, and Sasha was a little fuzzy on her name at that moment, he usually just referred to her as "that awful woman", would have just assumed he was watching their behavior. He wasn't watching how they were acting; he was watching Payson, thinking that he would have liked nothing more than to join her with all of her friends, as though he was seventeen again. At seventeen Sasha had been sultry, arrogant, a fool, he thought. Payson wouldn't have given him a second thought at seventeen.

But then she had given him a second, third, fourth, and more thoughts, because he was different. He was better for her older, because anyone younger would've been too immature in Payson's eye. He was convinced that was why she had rejected all the other boys he knew there must've been. They were too childish. Payson was not a child. She was a womanly as any woman Sasha knew, more adult than Summer, who Sasha often thought complained too much about childish things.

Payson, in the pool, finally met his eye. They looked at each other for a moment. She smiled, and he smiled back, gave her a little wink. Her smile widened, and that was the second he knew she loved him too. The only time he had seen her smile that wide was the day they met.


	5. Sleepover

**AN: I'm sorry about all the typos in the last chapter. When you transfer your story from Word to the document-uploader thing that I haven't completely figured out yet, some things get changed a little. Between Becca forcing Payson into the car and pushing her into the dressing rooms at the mall, I had put a little mark to show that it was a different scene, place, etc. That disappeared when I actually uploaded it, so it looked kind of tacky. I'm sorry! I'll try different things to make sure that doesn't happen again. Thank you to LizaGirl, (first reviewer, yay!), HeatherMarie37, klhansen22, angelwings8, JacenLukeSolo, poppetrussell, Laura, and BlueSkyHigh. Never in a million years did I ever think anyone would actually **_**read **_**this and **_**like **_**it! Yay! Oh my gosh, and when I saw that Ida-cullen favorite-ed my story, I'm pretty sure I almost passed out. So thank you everyone! Please keep reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it. You guys are amazing. Seriously, I thought I'd just be annoying people. Anyway, sorry. Long rant. Here we go! New chapter! Yay! **

After the party, the girls made plans to go back to Kaylie's house for a sleepover. As they were leaving, Kaylie said she had to go to the bathroom, and would meet them at the front in a minute. Fifteen passed, and Lauren asked Payson to go check on Kaylie to make sure she hadn't fallen in the toilet or something like that.

Payson asked the receptionist where the bathroom was, rounded the corner, wondering where on earth her friend could be. She stopped when she heard Kaylie's voice, in the opposite direction of the restrooms, accompanied by a deeper voice. Austin, she knew immediately. Payson figured she'd give them a minute; after all, they did have to go _an entire, whole day _without seeing each other again. She heard Kaylie's laugh. "Oh, don't tease her like that!" she giggled. "You know how Payson is. And you know she looked pretty." Payson couldn't help turning a little red hearing her say that.

"Not at pretty as you did," Austin said, and Payson could hear him kissing her lightly. She figured she'd stop them there.

"Hey, Kaylie, where are you?" she called, hoping to sound like she hadn't heard any of their conversation or known they were there.

"Oh, hey," Kaylie said, appearing around the corner, Austin trailing behind. "I was just…"

Lauren and Kelly ran into the room, and seeing them all together Lauren immediately went to Kaylie's side, smiling, nudging her playfully. "Do you want to come sleep over at Kaylie's house, too, Austin?" she teased. Austin's head hung. It was clear he was embarrassed.

"Come along, Kaylie," Kelly teased. "Say goodbye to Austin."

Kaylie leaned in to give him a hug and followed her friends, giving Austin a final, amused look. When they were outside Lauren started sing songing, "You lo-ove him, you really, really lo-ove him!"

"Oh, shut up," Kaylie exclaimed, embarrassed, getting into her car.

"I call shot-gun!" Kelly screamed, jumping in beside her.

Lauren and Payson took the back seat. Payson was still in her new bathing suit. Lauren smiled. "Nice suit, Pay," she said.

"Yeah, where did you get it?" Kelly asked.

"The mall," Payson muttered.

"Don't be embarrassed!" Lauren exclaimed. "You looked _so _good!"

"Still do," Kaylie said from the driver's seat. "Even Austin said so."

"What?" Kelly said. "You're his girlfriend, not Payson."

"No, no, he just said he was impressed you actually let your hair down for a change," Kaylie said, winking at Payson from the rearview mirror.

"Oh, shut up!" Payson cried. "Becca made me buy it. It's not a big deal." She didn't understand why people were giving her such a hard time. She could be a girl when she wanted to be. Didn't anybody remember the fashion show? It was true, Payson didn't like a spectacle to be made out of herself, but she hated it when people thought it was such a huge shocker that she actually decided to be _pretty _for once. _I can be pretty, _she thought defensively.

That was something she missed about Max. His subtle comments like, "Hey gorgeous" and "How are you, beautiful?" always made her feel like someone noticed her, and that not everybody thought of her as plain, boring Payson. She knew he was still there for her, she just wished that maybe sometimes other people could make her feel that way too. It didn't have to be Max or nothing, did it?

"We didn't mean to upset you, Pay, it's just a huge change from what we're used to," Kaylie explained. "You usually act like you don't care about appearances, and today you looked really, really great."

"Yeah," Kelly agreed. "Way better than me," she added.

"So," Lauren said, hoping to move the attention off of Payson and onto her, "do you think I'm going to win again this year?"

"Probably, if Becca doesn't beat you," Kaylie teased.

"Wait, Becca is running for 'Most Popular?'" Payson asked. She was a little surprised that her sister had dared to test Lauren. If Becca actually beat her, Lauren would be furious. She might even start to take some of her anger out on Payson. Becca was definitely one to take on a challenge, which was the part of it that wasn't too shocking. What did surprise her was that Becca probably didn't think this through. Her sister was a generally thorough person. She was the queen of the pro/con list, and often took hours just to figure out which leotard looked the most appropriate for the apparatus that she planned to work on that day at The Rock. Becca would most definitely want to retaliate now that Lauren had probably scored some very major votes from this party. She would also want her sister's help with her campaign, and the last thing Payson wanted to do was take sides.

"Becca is _not _going to beat me," Lauren said, tossing her hair over her shoulder, "but to be sure of that, I'm going to need some help from the inside." Lauren turned her attention to Payson. "You can be my double agent. I need to know what Becca is planning, and why she's planning it. You'll help me, obviously, won't you, Pay?"

"I do _not _want to be involved in this," Payson stated, a very stubborn look on her face. "If I say no, you'll be mad at me, and if I say yes, Becca will eventually be mad at me when she loses. Besides," she added, "isn't that cheating? Don't you want to be the rightful winner?"

"Rightful would be nice," Lauren mused, "but it's not very important. The only thing I care about is the winning part in itself. I'll do anything to win. I'm very surprised at you, Payson. I thought that you were such a loyal friend, I figured you'd be sure to help me." She sighed. "Oh well. I guess I was wrong."

Kaylie and Kelly glanced at each other in the front seat. "So…" Kelly said, hoping to keep the peace within her newfound friends. "What movie are we going to watch?"

Lauren immediately brightened. "_Clueless!_" she shrieked.

"No way," Payson insisted. "Not again. My vote is for _Jaws_."

"Right before we go to bed? You're crazy. That'll give me nightmares," Lauren said, shuddering.

"Can we compromise?" Kaylie suggested. "We can do a classic instead. You like classics, Lo."

"Fine," Lauren sniffed. "I know Payson will like that. She likes everything old." Payson's fist clenched. She knew what Lauren was referring to.

"Will you ever let that go?" she asked. "It was just a little schoolgirl crush," she lied.

"Was it?" Lauren smirked.

"Guys," Kaylie warned, "keep the peace."

"I'm sorry," Lauren said to Payson, "it just slipped out."

"That's okay," Payson said, surprised. She didn't know what had brought on Lauren's newfound knack for kindness, but whatever it was; she didn't want to test it. "What about _Sixteen Candles?" _she suggested, hoping to please Lauren and not bring on another fight. "You like that movie, right, Lo?"

Lauren squealed, and leaned over, stretching her seatbelt, to hug her friend in appreciation. "Molly Ringwald forever!" she screamed. "Oh my gosh, Jake is _so _hot!"

Payson rolled her eyes and smiled.

_AN: This is around the time in the last chapter where I would do one of those marks that would indicate a new scene. I haven't figured out how to work around this, maybe there's a word I could use? _

Back at Kaylie's house, the four girls had arranged their sleeping bags like a plus sign, so their heads met in the middle. They were whispering and giggling when suddenly Kelly blurted out something that was far more serious than what they had been discussing before then: whether the new Hawaiian Punch flavor at Spruce Juice was better than Strawberry Kiwi.

"What are you guys going to do with your lives after the Olympics?" Kelly asked. The subject had slipped off of her lips. There was an audible silence. Payson considered the question for a moment. All of the girls had been so focused on 2012 for so many years; they had rarely even considered that life could actually _go on_ after the event that would make all of the grueling days of training worthwhile. Whenever the question came up in any of their minds they immediately dismissed it, telling themselves they would cross that bridge when they got to it, and keep winning gold the center of attention. It was scary to them, that the goal they had been reaching towards their whole lives would suddenly be over. They didn't like to ask the question "Then what?" but they knew it was a choice that was going to have to be decided upon soon, even sooner than they realized.

Kaylie was first to speak. "I really love to sing," she said. "Working with Damon before Emily's pregnancy was so helpful for my recovery. I might want to be a lyricist. I could apply to school, major in songwriting. Is that even a major?" she asked herself. "I've never really researched college before; I've been so set on 2012. I don't know the first thing about it, and that scares me."

There was another silence. Kelly spoke next. "I feel horrible saying this, after everything she's done for me. But I can't help wanting to get as far away from my mother as humanly possible. Maybe New Zealand or Mars would be nice. I want to be free from all her expectations, and all her manipulative little comments about how I owe everything to her. I want to owe nobody anything, and I think the best way to do that is to go away. I think of it as my only option."

Lauren leaned her head on Kaylie's shoulder. "For most of my life, my mom not being there was my biggest struggle. I've always wanted that sense of family that I don't get with my dad. I love him, but I don't feel that feeling I've always imagined."

"What type of feeling?" Kelly asked.

"Home," Lauren said wistfully. "I want to help kids that are in the same situation as I was. I want to be like Maria von Trapp, a governess who married a General with seven children and lived happily ever after."

"Hate to break it to you, Lo," Kaylie said, "but we don't live in Austria in the late 1930s."

"I know," Lauren said, rolling her eyes, "I didn't mean it that way. I meant that I want to be a nanny, or a teacher, or a guidance counselor. Some type of caretaker for kids who don't have anybody to confide in. I blame a lot of my bad qualities on not having anybody to teach me otherwise. There's only room for one Lauren Tanner in the world. I want to make sure other kids don't end up like me."

Kaylie draped an arm around her friend's shoulder. "You may have had your bad moments, Lo," she said, "but you're still a good person, and an amazing gymnast. Look how far you've gotten. You helped us win gold at Worlds."

Lauren nodded. She looked at Payson. "What about you, Pay?"

Payson considered it for a minute. She knew what she really wanted, more than anything in the world. She couldn't tell her friends all the details, but she gave them the basic idea. "I never want to leave this sport," she said. "I want to coach." She didn't add, _And I want to be with Sasha when I do it. _


	6. Reunion

The next morning, Payson was the first one up. She showered, got dressed, did her hair, and made breakfast before any of the others even lifted their heads off of their pillows. She sat, eating her apple and thinking about the night before. After the unusually deep conversation they had had about their futures, they took a bunch of quizzes from the hundreds of magazines Kaylie had stashed in her closest, that consisted of, "Which shoe are you?" and "What's your perfect hair color?" Payson, apparently, should go brunette, because it's "simple and classic". The girls had squealed in protest, saying she should never change her hair. Lauren insisted that she would look so _un-Payson_ in any other color. She was also a sneaker, unsurprisingly, because she was "active and constantly moving". After the quizzes they had played Monopoly. Lauren won, landing on Free Parking just after Kelly had had to pay $2,000 in taxes, all of Lauren's properties had hotels, and she owned all four railroads.

Payson checked her watch. She had to get them up in five minutes. What could she do until then? Her cell phone rang. Kaylie groaned and rolled over. She didn't recognize the number. Payson left the room to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Payson, is this you?"

"Yes, this is Payson, who is this?" There was a heavy silence on the other line. "Hello?" Payson asked, beginning to grow annoyed. She'd been getting lots of prank calls recently.

"Payson, this is Emily." Payson's mouth dropped open like in one of those old cartoons. "Are you there?" Emily asked, her voice sounding frantic.

"Yes, yes, I'm here. I'm just surprised. Emily, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I came back to visit my mom and Brian, a-and the train got in early this morning, and I've really gotten big s-so when I left the station t-this group of guys, they pulled me into an alley a-and t-they called me a slut a-and they told me if I liked being slutty so much then they were sure I wouldn't mind i-if they g-gave me more of what I-I _liked…_"Her voice broke. She started crying.

"Oh my gosh. Where are you now, Emily? Are you okay?"

"I'm with Sasha." Payson didn't say anything for a moment. That surprised her almost as much as Emily's call did.

"Did either of you call the police?"

"Sasha said to call you first. He said you were with the other girls, that he saw you leave together. He said you guys need to come over…"

Anger took over. Why on earth would Sasha say to call _her _before the _police? _"Emily, I need to speak with Sasha. Can you put him on the phone for me, please?"

"Of course, Payson, and I can't even tell you how good it is to hear your voice after…"There were noises in the background and Payson couldn't make out the rest of her sentence. She took the opportunity to wake up the others.

"Everybody up!" she ordered. "Come on, get up, it's an emergency! Now, Lauren," she barked. Lauren groaned into her pillow.

"What type of emergency?" Kaylie demanded.

"It's Emily," Payson said simply. Immediately everybody got up, even Lauren.

"What did you say about Emily?" she asked, concerned. Payson heard a noise coming from the phone and held up her pointer finger, mouthing, "One minute."

"Yes, hello, is this Sasha?" she asked.

"Sasha?" Kelly asked Kaylie. She shrugged.

"Yes, hello, _Sasha," _Payson spat his name in disgust.

"Why…?" Lauren asked Kelly. She only shook her head.

"Uh huh, and tell me this, Sasha," Payson said, shaking her head. "WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER TO CALL ME INSTEAD OF THE POLICE?"

"She needed to calm down," he explained calmly. "She needed to hear from a friend. She was hysterical, Payson, I don't think you understand."

"Of course I understand!" she cried. _"Emily has been raped. _The sooner you call the police, the better the chance is they can catch the guy! You shouldn't call _me _before you talk to the authorities, Sasha, aren't you supposed to be the adult here?"

"Emily's been raped?" Lauren asked, horrified, trying and failing to pull her T-Shirt over her camisole while putting on her sweatpants at the same time.

"She needed to talk to someone close to her. I couldn't lead her from one traumatizing situation into another. I don't think I can go to the police station alone with her without her becoming frantic again. She's scared out of her mind, and she needs her friends."

"Okay, fine, but where the heck is Damon?"

"His boss wouldn't let him off work, so he couldn't come with her. Chloe was supposed to meet Emily at the station when her train got in but she called Emily on the train and told her she couldn't make it. We've been trying to get a hold of him, we've left messages, but no response."

"Damon is a recording artist, how can he have a boss?"

"He took a part time job to pay for the recording studio. You and the girls are all she has now."

"Have you tried to reach her mom or Brian? Do they have any idea what's going on?"

"Payson, you need to come."

"I know, I know! Of course I'll come, but I think her mom will be a huge help too."

"Of course. We've tried the house and her cell phone multiple times, and we're going to try her again once I hang up with you."

"Then hang up with me now. We'll be right there." Payson flipped the phone shut. "Kaylie, where are your car keys? We need to go to the Rock, right now. Emily's with Sasha in his trailer."

"What's going on, Payson?" Kelly asked.

"No time. We have to be there for her, Kaylie, where the heck are your keys?"

"Right here, let's go," she said, running out the door and to her car. They all followed and clicked on their seatbelts. Kaylie stepped on the gas.

"Don't we have to tell your mom?" Lauren asked.

"I'll call her and tell her where we're going," Payson offered.

Once they reached the gym they got out of the car and sprinted to the trailer. Sasha opened the door for them. Emily was seated on the bed, her hands protectively holding her enormous stomach, her eyes red and puffy, tears running down her face. "Emily," Payson said, hugging her close. Emily sobbed louder. "Shh, Shh, don't cry, don't cry," Payson consoled her. "It'll all be okay, shh, shh, Damon is coming, you'll see him really soon, okay? We're here. We're here." She dried Emily's eyes with her sleeve and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Do you know the gender of your baby, Em?" she asked, hoping to lighten her spirits a little.

It worked. A small smile appeared on her lips and she nodded. "Girl," she said, sniffling again.

"A little girl, Em? You're having a little girl? Oh, Emily, that's so wonderful." Payson squeezed her tighter. "Do you have a name?"

Emily nodded again. "Miranda," she said softly, her voice raspy from crying.

"Oh, that's such a pretty name," Payson said. She turned her head toward Emily's stomach. "Miranda," she said, addressing the baby, "your mama is one of my best friends. She's a wonderful woman, and you are so lucky, you know why? Because you have two amazing people for parents, who love you so very much, and they gave you such a great name. Emily, do you have a room set up for her somewhere?" Emily nodded again. "Oh, Miranda, did you hear that? You have a whole room all for yourself. A really great room, I'll bet, where you'll have all your own things." Emily smiled a little bit. "I'll bet you'll have your own crib, right Emily?"

"Yes, she has a crib, and a dresser, and a bookshelf. O-once I get to m-my house I'm going to get all my old stuffed animals and toys for her," Emily sniffled, wiping her nose on the back of her hand.

"Stuffed animals? You're a lucky girl, Miranda, such a lucky girl. I know your mother and father are going to take such good care of you. You two came back to visit all of us, and you're going to get so many great surprises. Did you hear what your mama just said, did you, Miranda? She said you're going to get all of your mama's toys from when she was a little baby just like you." Payson laid a hand on Emily's stomach, and stroked it with her thumb. Behind her, Kaylie, Lauren and Kelly were hugging each other, crying, and when she looked up at Sasha, she saw to her surprise that he was crying too.

"Miranda," she continued, "do you know how much we're all going to love you? You're going to have four aunts who love you very much. Auntie Payson, that's me, and Auntie Lauren and Auntie Kaylie and Auntie Kelly…we're all going to just adore you. And when you get big your grandma is going to do your hair and paint your nails…"

"Not if I can help it," Emily muttered, smiling a little.

"And your daddy? I'll bet he's going to sing you to sleep every single night, so you have good dreams. And your Uncle Brian can teach you all sorts of different things, Miranda. And do you know the man that's been helping your mommy for the past couple hours? The very nice man that we all love very much?" Sasha looked up. "His name is Sasha Belov. He won _six Olympic gold medals. _Your mommy was going to win one of those, but then she decided she was going to have you instead, which was a great choice, you know why, Miranda?" Emily was crying again, but for better reasons. "It was a great choice because someday, you're going to grow up to do great things, I know you will. And remember that man I told you about, Uncle Sasha? I bet you're going to turn him into an old softie. I'll bet he's going to love you just as much as I will."

Kaylie sat down on the other side of Emily. "I'm your Auntie Kaylie, Miranda. I remember the first day I met your mommy, I thought she was one of the most amazing people I'd ever seen. I know you'll be just as amazing. I'll bet you look just like your mommy. You'll be just as pretty."

Kelly sat down next to them too. "I haven't known your mother for as long," she said, "but I know she'll be a great mother for you."

Lauren sat on the floor, at Emily's feet. "You are so lucky, Miranda," she whispered. "So lucky."


	7. News and Confessions

**AN: Thank you for all the reviews! This chapter will be Sasha's reaction to Payson's motherly side among other things. **

Sasha watched Payson with Emily, tears streaming down his face. What was it about Payson that made him _weep_ so much? It was unsettling. Sasha took pride in his non-crying, he thought it added on to his "no excuses for weakness" coaching strategy and image.

It would've been hard not to cry for anybody no matter how tough they were, he thought. It was such a sentimental and sweet moment between the five girls, and he debated whether or not to join them. It was when Payson said that they all loved him very much that he couldn't resist anymore. Kaylie scooted over for him so he could sit next to Emily.

"We know it will be hard for you, Emily, but we need to report this man to the police. Do you remember at all what he looked like?"

"Yes," Emily said, sniffling a little.

"Good, we're all going to go to the police station together. We'll stop on the way and go to your house and see if your mother is there. We've been having a couple of problems reaching her."

"She works the morning shift at Bodacious Boulders today," Emily said, wiping her eyes and regaining her composure. "I can tell you the number. I have it in my phone."

"That would be great," Sasha said. He looked up, and saw Payson looking at him. He winked, hoping to see her smile. It worked. She smiled so wide she had to turn away so Emily wouldn't see her.

"Okay," Emily said, pulling out her phone.

"I thought you didn't have a phone, Em, is it new?" Kaylie asked.

Emily nodded. "I got it instead of a house phone for the apartment," she said, "it was cheaper. So, are you dialing?" Sasha nodded. "Okay." Emily read him the number.

"Bodacious Boulders, Boulder Colorado, this is Moxie speaking."

"Yes, hello, may I please speak to Chloe? It's an emergency."

"Bambi," Emily whispered, "they make her go by Bambi at work."

"Oh, sorry," Sasha said in the phone, "I meant Bambi. I need to speak to Bambi. Tell her it's Sasha Belov calling about her daughter."

Chloe was on the phone in another minute. "Sasha? What did you say about Emily? Why is it an emergency? I just turned my cell phone on, why do I have 13 messages? What's going on?"

"There's no time to tell you over the phone, but could you please meet us with Brian at the police station? Emily needs to report somebody, and she could really use your support."

"What happened, Sasha?"

Sasha sighed. "Chloe, Emily was leaving the train station, and a man pulled her into an alley and raped her. We're going to the police station to report him. Emily needs you to be there with her, along with all of us."

Chloe's heart leaped. Her mind raced into panic mode. "I'm coming. Right now, but, Sasha, who are you talking about when you say 'all of us'? Is Damon with her?"

"No, we haven't gotten a hold of Damon yet, but Payson, Kaylie, Lauren, and Kelly Parker are here."

Chloe blinked. _Kelly Parker _of all people was with her daughter, supporting her, and she was still talking on the phone with a man she could be getting information from while having her arm around Emily, consoling her. "I'll be there in five minutes."

She ran out the door, not even acknowledging her boss, who called after her, "Where are you going? You don't get off for another two hours!"

At the police station, Emily stood bravely in front of the police officer, describing the man and all of his friends that stood by and watched. She described what he did to her, how, and what he said to her. Payson, Kaylie, and Lauren went up with her, their arms linked. Kelly stayed behind to call all of their mothers, no doubt worried out of their minds, and tell them what happened.

Chloe Kmetko raced in the door, Brian coming up behind her. She ran to Emily, and gave her the biggest hug possible with her growing stomach. Brian watched next to Payson. He said to her, "If they ever catch the bastard I'll make sure he never messes with_ my_ sister ever again."

Payson took his hand. "That makes two of us."

Sasha heard this exchange and didn't doubt that Payson would be true to her word. The girl was tough, and could definitely throw a punch. Sasha, of course, being the adult and the "role model", could not drop to that level should they catch the man.

However, he could give Payson a few tips on how to knock the guy unconscious.

"We have to get to the Rock," Kaylie said, "we're at least two hours late, but if you need us," she said to Emily, "we can stay, no problem."

"No, you should train. I watched Worlds on TV. Payson, that one foot landing on vault was phenomenal," Emily said, "and Kaylie, your floor was really wonderful too, and Lauren's beam was great as always," Lauren smiled, "and Kelly," Kelly looked up, surprised to be mentioned by the girl whose spot on the National Team she had taken away, "they couldn't have won without your bars. Payson, can I talk to you, just for a second?"

"Sure," Payson said, a little surprised. "What do you need?"

Emily pulled her aside. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm supposed to be asking _you _that."

"With Sasha," Emily added with a meaningful look on her face. Payson looked at one of her best friends in the world and didn't know what to say.

"W-what d-do y-you mean?" she stuttered. Emily rolled her eyes and smiled. "Okay," Payson demanded, "tell me. Why wouldn't you think I'd be okay? And what does Sasha have to do with anything?"

"Payson," Emily said, "don't play dumb. It was all your subtle comments and mentioning him when you were talking to Miranda…and when he winked at you your face lit up like a Christmas tree…" Payson crossed her arms over her chest, knowing where she was going with this. "You would tell me if you had feelings for him, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would." Payson looked over her shoulder at the rest of them. They were all engrossed in conversation, except, she noticed, for the man they were discussing. He was staring at them, as though he suspected something but wasn't sure what it was. Payson pulled Emily farther from them. She didn't want anybody to hear what she was going to tell her. "And…and I do," she added, "I really do. I feel the same way about him that you do about Damon, but I doubt the feelings are mutual…since…well, I'm seventeen and he's supposed to be like a second father to me, but he isn't, you know? Every time I watch him be so nice to Becca when she's having one of her mood swings, or see him interact so well with my mom, it's like winning at Worlds, I'm just suddenly so happy, and I feel like the Olympics aren't just a crazy dream. He can help me get there, and I admire him for that, but that isn't the only reason I love him. Whenever he speaks to me, and only me, I feel like I get to know him just a little bit better than everyone else, and when he stops talking I want him to open his mouth and say something else. There's never going to be anyone else like him.

"He's amazing, and he acts like this scary principal but really I know he cares deeply about us, and me, too, even if it's not in the way that I'd like. And that's enough for me, it really is, just knowing I can be around him, see him, and talk to him, that's enough. I don't need for him to love me romantically the way I do for him, I just need him to be around me, and I'm happy. I'm not just infatuated with him, Em, I really think it's the kind of love my parents have for one another.

"My mom describes it as accepting the good and bad qualities of a person and loving all parts of them. I do that with Sasha. All the things I don't agree with him on I accept that that's just a part of him that's different from me, and I should love how different we are, too. It's like that Beatles song my parents danced to at their wedding, '_In my Life.' _There are lots of things I'm grateful for and wouldn't want to live without, but when I think about all these people and places I love, nothing compares to him, no matter how much older than me he is."

Emily gazed at Payson and saw that look in her eyes that she saw in Damon's eyes when he talked about her and Miranda. "I need to tell you something, Payson." Emily fiddled with the chain around her neck, pulling up what Payson originally assumed was a pendant, but then saw more clearly. It was a diamond ring. "My pregnancy fingers are too fat for me to wear this on, so I put it on a necklace. Damon and I are getting married after Miranda is born. We're not getting married because of her, either. He's not marrying me because we're having a child. He's marrying me because he truly loves me, and I love him too, the way you just described it.

"Miranda is," she searched for the right word to describe her baby, "a symbol. She's a symbol that we're going to be a real family, just like you have with your parents and Becca. Some people might say it's the wrong order to do things, and I agree with them. I should have waited until I was married to have Miranda, but now that she's coming, I don't think it matters so much anymore. I'm going to be happy, and it doesn't matter what order I got the things that will make me happy. Things are going to turn out okay for me. I'm going to school, you know, and Damon's album is coming out next month. We've worked out the finances. I hate it when a teenager gets pregnant, and people act like there's no hope for her. I can have my daughter and still have a happy life. She isn't a mistake. She's a blessing, just like Summer said. I think Summer could be more open minded, but in my case, she was right."

"Em, I'm so happy for you." Payson gave her friend a hug.

"And I'm happy for you, too, Payson. I know you probably won't believe me, but I see it in his eyes when he looks at you. He does love you. I don't know how soon either of you will realize it, but in the end it'll work out."

"Do you really think so?" Payson asked her.

"I do," she said, "no pun intended."


	8. Back at the Gym

**AN: Again, thank you all for reading and reviewing! Please, keep it up! It really motivates me to write. Also, do you like my new profile picture? It might take a day or two to be visible.**

Little did Emily and Payson know, Sasha had heard every word of their conversation. The policeman needed Emily back to ask a few more questions, and since Sasha had seen Payson pull Emily away to talk to her he went to where he thought they would be.

The police station was unfamiliar to Sasha, so he took several wrong turns, but when he heard Emily and Payson's voices echoing down the hallway, he stopped, trying to figure out where the heck they were. His intentions really weren't to eavesdrop, but after he heard his name mentioned several times he inched closer to where he thought they could be. He was wrong, he reached another supply closet, but he found inside that closet their voices were a lot louder, so he decided to stay crouched beneath a couple of mops and…well…eavesdrop, yes, he admitted that's what he was doing, but he was sure their conversation was innocent. Besides, he thought, what if they were having suicidal thoughts, and Sasha would have to jump in and save them before they hurt themselves!

Okay, that probably wasn't going to happen. Still, he listened anyway, just in case Payson was talking about gymnastics, and this was something he needed to hear. What he did end up listening to was not what he was expecting. Payson was telling Emily…that she was in love with him? That even if he didn't love her back the way she wanted him too, seeing him and being with him in the relationship that they had already was _enough for her? _She compared their situation to a Beatles song that ironically was his favorite, and she also said she loved him like her parents loved one another.

First, he jumped for joy. The feelings were mutual! Payson loved him back! He took the mop he was hiding under and waltzed with it, so happy he felt he could scream, which he hadn't done since he was maybe six years old. Then, he was melancholy, a depression seeping into him. It was such a huge change from the glee he had felt a minute earlier that he sank to the floor. _Payson may love me_, he thought, _and I may love her, but how can I tell her? How will we manage? Do we wait another year until after the Olympics?_ That seemed like agony, to wait so long to hold her, whisper in her ear, tell her he cared just as deeply for her as she did for him. _Do I tell her now? _Hide from her parents, hide from the NGO, in constant fear that someone will discover their relationship and have their careers be over right before their eyes. _Do I tell her, and then we can figure something out together? _That seemed like his best bet. He'd tell Payson he loved her, and then ask her what she thought was best for them, and they could figure something out from there.

But what would she say? Would she be angry, ask why he told her then, just when she was supposed to become more focused than ever before? Would she be happy? He hoped she would. He really hoped she would.

When they got back to the gym, Steve was immediately on their case the second they got in the door. "Is she all right? Why did it take so long? The gymnasts have had to train themselves for the past three hours!"

"By 'she' are you referring to Emily, the girl that was _raped while pregnant?" _

"No, actually I was referring to Lauren, my _daughter_."

"Yes, because Lauren had to go through such a traumatizing experience," Sasha said sarcastically, "she was actually incredibly supportive of Emily. I'm very proud of all of them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do and gymnasts to train." He headed up the steps to his office, humming _"In my Life" _quietly to himself.

Payson was on her way to the locker room to change into her leotard when she felt a hand rest on her shoulder. "Hey," Max whispered softly. "I heard what happened. Are you alright?"

"What wouldn't I be?" she asked angrily for what seemed like the millionth time. "I'm not the one who was raped, with my mom and my boyfriend nowhere to be found." She whipped around, grabbing his wrist and pulling it off of her. "I'm sick of people asking me that," she grumbled. "They're all acting like we're the victims, and overlooking Emily because she's pregnant and that's such a huge scandal from their point of view. She was doing so well, she's in school, and she was happy, until this happened!"

"I know, I'm sorry, it just must've been hard to see her again," Max said softly, "that's all. I didn't know Emily very well. I feel badly for her, but because you mean the most to me I'm more concerned about you. But, how is she doing, really?"

"Great, just great," Payson snarled, sarcasm dripping from her words. "How do you _think _she's doing?"

"I didn't mean it that way, Payson! I just wanted to know if she was okay."

Payson softened. "I know, I'm sorry Max, she'll be okay. She just really, really needs to see Damon." She gestured to the door to the girl's locker room. "I have to change."

"Right, sorry. See you later."

"See you," she said, closing the door behind her. The second she walked in the door, Lauren was in her face.

"Did you and Max break up?"

"Yeah, a few days ago," Payson said, suddenly tired.

"Does that mean…" Lauren said, a little hesitant, "….he's….available?"

"You can have him."

"Ohmygosh, you're the best friend EVER!" Lauren hugged her and ran back to change into her hot pink leotard to impress Max.

After Payson was ready and changed she headed over to the beam and started stretching. Sasha came down the steps, clipboard in hand, humming something indecipherable under his breath. "What are you humming?" she asked.

He looked up. _"In my Life," _he said with a wink. Her face turned crimson, and she got that scared and embarrassed feeling in the pit of her stomach. How could he have known about that? Did he hear her conversation with Emily?

She shook the embarrassment off. If he heard, and he had some sort of issue, that was his problem. She hadn't done anything wrong. Payson straightened her posture, and said confidently, "I love that song. Did you know my parents danced to that at their wedding?"

Sasha smiled, a little surprise showed in his face. "Can you show me your beam, please?"

"Well since you said _please_," she said, smirking. He laughed. It was the best beam she'd ever done, her dismount was flawless, and she stuck all of her landings. She acted like she could do this routine in her sleep; it was so easy for her.

"Great," Sasha said, checking something off on his clipboard, "now make it perfect."

"What?" Payson demanded. "You must be joking. That was the best I've ever done!"

"Yes, it was," Sasha agreed, "but you can still make it sharper. Maybe I'll put you on beam for the Russian Invitational if you impress me enough."

"What Russian Invitational?" Payson asked. "I thought they didn't want to compete against us unless they had to."

"After we beat them, they wanted to redeem themselves."

"That's great! Why didn't you say that in the first place? Here, let me try it again."

"No, that's okay, why don't you show me vault instead? We'll come back to this."

Payson looked at him as if he had suggested skipping training and going paragliding instead. She looked a little insulted. "I'm not going to stop until this is perfect, Sasha. The best I've ever done isn't going to help us beat Russia."

"That's my girl," he said, smiling. "Kaylie!" he barked. She was talking to Austin by the water cooler. She looked up. "Floor, now," he ordered. She sighed dramatically and walked over to the mat.

"Kaylie this is sloppy," he said once she finished. "Clean up those transitions, and end on a high note. Remember, judges want to see teeth!" Austin appeared behind him and tapped his shoulder. Sasha turned around, and when Austin smiled there were plastic vampire fangs covering his teeth. "Very funny," Sasha said sarcastically. "Now work."

Payson did her dismount seven times before she deemed it partially acceptable and moved on to the next step, figuring she would work on it more after she got all the other steps perfect too. After she landed on the mat Lauren tapped her on the shoulder and made her jump out of her skin. "Gosh, Lauren you scared me! What's wrong?"

"Sasha wants to see you in his office."

"Isn't he with Kaylie?"

"Not anymore. Now he's in his office, and he wants to see you."

"Oh, okay, thanks Lauren." She started to walk over to his office, a little bit of dread in the back of her head. She did not want to talk about that conversation with Emily, not if it was going to result in Sasha looking at her like a concerned therapist, letting her down softly, saying that it's all right to feel that way, but you really shouldn't be concerning yourself with boys right now, not this close to the Olympics. And Payson knew that, that was why she hadn't said anything to Sasha. She only told her friend what she was thinking; it wasn't her fault Sasha had overheard.

What she hadn't been expecting was Ellen Beals to be standing in the doorway, waiting for her to walk up the steps.


	9. Love always, Ellen Beals

"Hello, Payson," Ellen Beals said, holding her hand out for Payson to shake, "it's nice to see you again."

"Hello," Payson said coldly, not taking her hand. She wasn't sure whether to believe the rumors that Ellen Beals had edited the video of Payson kissing Sasha herself, but she wasn't taking any chances and being _nice. _

"Please, come in," Sasha offered, stepping aside so the two of them could enter his office. He didn't look thrilled in doing so.

Payson stayed behind to ask him, "Why is she here?"

Sasha shook his head. "Your answer is as good as mine."

"Sasha," Payson said seriously, "Should we…be worried?"

"Well, whatever happens, Payson," Sasha said, "don't be afraid, remember? You told me not to be afraid, no matter what the circumstances, and I intend to do just that. Maybe we can be in this together, and have the same mindset."

Payson nodded, and smiled weakly before following him in. Ms. Beals was studying them closely, like a newspaper reporter sniffing out a story. Her hair was perfectly styled, she was wearing red lipstick, a new look for her, but her eyes were as piercing and suspicious as always. Payson had seen her at the Tanners' pre-Worlds party, but not this close up, this…personal. "So, Ms. Beals," Sasha said, sitting down at his desk, "I know Payson and I are both wondering why you've decided to come today, but if it's about the training video of our kiss, you can save your breath. I know you didn't edit it yourself. The culprit has already confessed to me, and as I have incredible short term memory I have forgiven the person and intend to do nothing about it. They have learned their lesson, and that's the end of it for me. Payson, I know this is the first time you're hearing this, but if you have any objections to my decision we can talk about them later, once I actually tell you who it is." Payson was surprised Sasha hadn't told her, and incredibly curious as to who it was.

"Well, that's good to hear, Sasha," Ellen Beals said, a visibly relieved look on her face, "and I'll be sure to tell the rest of the NGO that my name has been cleared, but that isn't the reason I came by. I hear Emily Kmetko is back in town?"

Payson stiffened. She knew, as did Sasha, of Ms. Beals's dislike for Emily. "Yes," she said defensively. "What of it?"

"The NGO would like to meet with her. It's really pretty important, actually."

"Well," Sasha said, narrowing her eyes, "that's something you have to ask _her_ directly, since it's her decision. I can understand you wanting to come talk to me, but, why is Payson here?"

"The NGO wants to discuss a business deal with Emily, a compromise, something to help keep her in the sport, where she belongs."

"Continue," Sasha said, leaning into his desk, hands folded together.

"I am resigning my position on the board," she said, "and I want Emily to take my place."

"That's great!" Payson said, "But I still don't understand what this has to do with either of us."

"The NGO is very particular about their spots on the board. She's going to need two people the NGO particularly trusts to send a letter of recommendation explaining why Emily is a good choice for the position. That would be you two. She's also going to have to give a speech, explaining what she offers to the board. This is a paid job. Being a member is a very big time commitment. Her pregnancy is a big black mark on her resume. Children occupy a lot of time in which the NGO could use her, however her experience might be able to make up for it. I already discussed it with her yesterday. She can do all the work over the computer, using video chat and typed letters. We can schedule the consideration meeting in which you will read your letter of recommendations for this Wednesday before Emily leaves to go back to Las Vegas. Will you be ready before then?"

"Okay," Payson agreed. "I can be ready."

"How long should it be?" Sasha asked.

"As long as you'd like," Ellen Beals said. Payson immediately brightened. She pictured a five page long essay while Sasha pictured maybe three paragraphs, stating the key points and no more than that. "Within reason," she added, seeing Payson's face. Payson's shoulder slumped again. "Well, I have to be going."

"Wait, Ms. Beals," Payson said, "if you don't mind my asking, why are you stepping down?" _Not that I'm not happy about it, _she thought to herself.

"Actually, Payson, I do mind your asking. Good afternoon." She left and shut the door with a bang.

There was a silence between the two of them for a moment. Payson could feel the dreaded conversation about her exchange with Emily coming up, and she was not looking forward to it. Then Sasha surprisingly said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the videotape, Payson."

"You don't like to talk about it, I understand," she said.

"I have no problem talking about it," he said, "our kiss, I mean, I just…don't want you to be angry with who it was who sent it."

"They only embarrassed me, they destroyed your reputation," Payson answered, "but I can understand why you wouldn't be mad. You're always talking about us having short term memory, after all."

Sasha shouldn't have been surprised she understood, but he still was. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you. It's just as much your business as it is mine."

"You don't have to now, if you don't want to. I'm fine with not knowing," she fibbed.

He smiled. "You're a terrible liar, Payson. I know you're dying to find out who it is."

"Why don't you put me out of my misery, then?" she joked.

"Alright, but please…"

"...don't be mad? Sasha, I know. I won't be, you can trust me."

He looked at her seriously. "I know I can. I'll always trust you." Another moment passed between them before he spoke again. "Lauren was really feeling the loss of her mother," he started, "and she felt that Summer was the closest thing she had to an authority figure. She was afraid I would take Summer away from her, so when she found the video, she edited it and sent it to Ellen Beals to be sure I wouldn't see Summer any more. Now, I know you two have been friends for a long time, and I don't want this to cause a rift between you two or anything. Not only are you two friends, you're teammates, and if you are angry with each other it…"

"…reflects the performance of the whole team, which we especially don't want now since the Russian Invitational is soon," Payson finished for him, "I understand, and I've come to accept all of Lauren's bad instincts. She's one of my closest friends, and I love her dearly. I don't think I could stay upset with her for too long, and even if I could, it wouldn't be right. No matter how many times she messes up, I just have to keep reminding myself that when she falls, she falls harder than I ever will. I think that me being angry with her isn't going to help her change. She needs me and all of her friends to help keep her from doing things like this again. I've come to accept that."

"When you love someone, you have to accept the good qualities along with the bad ones, and love them all the more for it," Sasha said softly.

"That is what I said," Payson replied, "and…I guess that means you heard it, then?" Sasha nodded. "Before you say anything," Payson quickly said, holding up her hand in a "stop" sign, "I don't want a big speech about how you can help me 'work through these feelings' or that I shouldn't be feeling them, because I haven't done anything wrong. By no means did I want you to hear that conversation, it was between one of my best friends and me, and really I _should_ be upset with you for listening in on something private, but I'm not, because I know I would've done the same thing in that position. I don't want this to be a big ordeal, but I don't think you should tell me to 'get over it' either, because honestly I never will. This isn't something I can get over, Sasha, this is…"

"Love," Sasha said simply, "I know it is, Payson, and I understand."

"How can you?" Payson asked, "You don't…"

"Who says I don't?" Sasha asked rising from his desk, and sitting next to Payson on the small couch in the corner of his office. "Who says," he whispered, "that I don't love you too?"

"I just assumed, since you seem so sensible…" Payson stammered, a little in shock.

"It has little to do with my character, Payson," Sasha said, "it only has to do with the fact that you are the most amazing person I have ever met, and every day with you in it is a day that I am more certain." Payson closed her eyes, felt his hand on her shoulder, an innocent little gesture that anyone looking in from the window that couldn't hear what they were saying would've deemed as an act of comfort, given what had just happened to her best friend. It was more than that to Payson. To her it was another way of saying _I love you, _a simple little motion that meant so much to her. "I love you, Payson," he whispered, just securing the thought in her mind. "And I have no idea how we're going to deal with this, or what we're going to do, but I think the first thing I need to do is to give you this." She opened her eyes again to see a wrapped box in his hand. The wrapping paper was covered in puppies. "I'm sorry about the paper," he laughed, "it was the only one I had left, but what's inside is worth it, I promise you." She opened it to find a little velvet box, and inside that little velvet box was a plain silver band, that was simple but very pretty, and it glistened in the light. "It's nothing fancy, I know, but read the inscription." Payson looked inside the little ring.

"Te voi iubi mereu, indiferent de ce," she slowly tried to pronounce the Romanian, not having a clue what it meant.

"Very good, you're a natural," Sasha said, a smile on his face. "I will always love you, no matter what," he translated for her.

"Te voi iubi mereu, indiferent de ce," she repeated, smiling ear to ear. "Thank you, Sasha," she whispered, leaning in for a hug.

"I know this will be difficult," Sasha said, "and I don't know how we'll manage or what we'll do, but at least we know we'll always have that."

"Love, always," Payson said.

"Exactly."


	10. Advice

**AN: Thanks for your reviews! There will be more Kaylie and Austin in this chapter, and yes I do update quickly because sometimes an idea will just come to me and I have to write it in a chapter before it goes away. I worry sometimes it makes me look like I have no life! This is really fun, though. I think this chapter will be longer than the others! I'm sorry if the gymnastics is inaccurate, I'm not a gymnast myself, and I mainly get my information from Google! Anyways, reviews are always appreciated!**

Payson literally skipped into the gym from her car. She'd been so happy since Sasha gave her the ring that when Mark Keeler came home from Minnesota he saw such a difference in his daughter he said, "Did we win the lottery while I was away?"

She stretched to get ready for floor. Sasha came down with his clipboard. "I've been thinking," he said. "Maybe we should do a new routine."

"But I love this one," Payson insisted, "and I thought since last time I did it was…"

"I love it, too, Payson, and trust me, I want to keep it just as much as you do, but you can only do one routine so many times. The NGO might be a little bit sick of it. Tell you what," he reasoned, "how about we do it one more time at the Open House next week, and then we'll have a new one ready for Russia. We can still do this one for fun, since we like it so much, but the new one we'll use for competition. I have some music I was thinking we could use," he said, holding up a CD, "let's give it a listen and see how we like it."

"Sasha Belov," Payson said, a playful smile on her face, "did you just say 'for fun'? I didn't think 'fun' was in your vocabulary."

"Well, I've been in a good mood lately," he said with a wink. A warm sensation spread inside Payson. She loved this feeling, this feeling that she and Sasha shared something that was completely their own. He popped the disc into the drive, and pressed play. A fast paced, quickly moving, very exuberant, constantly changing piano piece filled Payson's head all in the course of a moment. "The finale, Presto, of Haydn's Piano Sonata No. 52 in E flat Major," Sasha explained, "The finale is a little over five minutes, so obviously we'll have to cut it down to the parts we most want to use. I think you should probably stay late tonight to figure out how we're going to do that. But I think it'll be worth it. I wanted us to do something _happier _for a change."

Payson smiled, already excited to start. "I couldn't agree more. Can we start now, or do we have to wait until tonight?"

"Let me work with Kelly on her new dismount and then I'll work with Lauren on a new vault I've been meaning to teach her and then I need to work with Kaylie on bars…" He checked over his clipboard, "I'll come back after I'm finished with all of them, in maybe forty five minutes. Start experimenting with different ideas on how to start the routine while you wait." He gave her an apologetic look.

"Could I use the music?"

"As much as you need, but remember, the routine is only going to be a minute and thirty seconds, so don't go overboard."

"Me? Never," Payson assured him. He rolled his eyes and walked away. She listened to the whole entire finale several times to get the music in her head before she even started to try out different ways to begin the routine. The music was light, but powerful, and it transitioned from small to big in seconds. Payson pictured vast arm movements, stag ring leaps, legs up by her ears in the middle of the air. She would move all over the floor, like the ballet dancer that Sasha had taken her to see. She would be a vision, just like Becca had told her she had been in that bathing suit, and she would stop at nothing until she got that good. She would work, work, work, and somehow figure out a way to get her beam in tip top shape while making this perfect as well…she'd have to make a list, she decided, a list of things to tackle and in what order. Sasha clearly wanted this to be flawless first and foremost, so beam would have to be her second priority. And she couldn't lag behind in bars either. Or vault. But now she was focusing on floor, she reminded herself, and she needed to have something to show Sasha when he was finished with Kelly. She didn't allow herself to waste time. She'd start on her knees, her arms in a tango-like position, then she'd jump to her feet and immediately do a stag ring leap, or should she save that for later? They were fun, and she wondered whether or not the fact that she was having fun was a bad thing. She'd have to do some aerials, she didn't like those, they felt too easy, and maybe they were. Okay then, she thought, no aerials. A round off Arabian would be a good thing to try.

That's what she would do then. She would start with a round off Arabian and then later on do the stag ring leap. She practiced her on-her-knees-tango-arms position that she made up, hoping Sasha would appreciate her individuality, and then after the first twelve seconds, (she counted) she stood up and did her round off Arabian. Sasha came back, and she showed him. "No," he said simply.

_"No?" _Payson asked, incredibly angry. "I thought so much about this! I put a lot of work into that round off Arabian; it was almost all I did the entire time you were gone!" He gave her a look. "Fine," she sighed, "what would you suggest?"

Late into the night they worked. They cut down the sonata to a minute and a half which was incredibly hard and not very enjoyable, but Sasha entertained Payson by telling her stories about the Olympics when he competed. Then Sasha instructed Payson on the floor routine he had in mind, which she argued about and insisted they include a stag ring leap _somewhere, _which he argued about and said that she could do better, and she argued back by saying that she did better in every part of the floor routine and the judges needed something different, and besides stag ring leaps are _fun _and don't the judges want to see her having fun? He relented, as he almost always did, and she felt satisfied with herself and was in an increasingly better mood as the night went on.

Being with Sasha always made her in a better mood. It was like whenever she was around him this radiance came on inside her and flicked on her frame of mind like a light switch.

After the routine was finished, they both sat on the mat for a while, Payson listening to her heart pound in her head like a drum. Her breathing was heavy; she was tired from doing the routine over and over again so many times. Sasha was looking at her, her hair all astray, the perfect bun having fallen out around the fourth time they ran the routine. There were circles under her eyes. Sasha thought she'd never looked prettier, and he was happy just to be alone with her.

"Sasha," she said suddenly, twirling her ring around her finger like a ribbon, "we have no idea what to do next, do we?"

"No, I suppose we don't," he admitted.

"I mean, it's like we can't win," she said, "if we be together, we have to hide it and risk losing everything, and if we wait to be together, we're not happy."

"I know," Sasha said quietly, "and that's what means the most to me, your happiness."

"I'm happy when I'm with you, here, now," she answered. There was another silence, more peaceful and thoughtful than awkward, both each trying to figure out what to do. Payson and Sasha sat across from each other, her head resting on the palm of her hand, him rubbing the back of his neck, lost in his own train of thought. It was a habit of his, he mainly did it when he was in a difficult situation. That sprung a thought.

"Payson, people say that love is hard," he started, "and when I'm in a hard situation I like to talk to somebody else about it to see their point of view. Normally, my difficult circumstances are my own, nobody else's, and I don't have anybody to talk to them about, so I fend for myself. We have each other," he said, "there is that, so I say we both take some time to think it over, write Emily's letter of recommendation, and see if that triggers any epiphanies. Then maybe we can talk it over, have a real conversation. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

Payson looked at him as though he had asked what color an orange was. "I'm here," she said, "with you."

"Oh, right. Well, let's talk then, shall we?"

"Okay. I have to get home, but Sasha," he looked at her, she smiled, "I love you."

"You too," he responded.

Later that night, at home, while listening to Haydn's 52nd Piano Sonata in E flat Major, Payson typed Emily's letter of recommendation. She looked at the clock. 10:30, it was the latest she'd been up in a while. She knew Kaylie would be up, too. She and Austin had plans for movie night, which sometimes ran extremely late. Payson thought that maybe if she could talk to Kaylie about her situation she might have some advice for her, but she didn't want to interrupt their night. She figured she'd at least give it a try, they barely ever _watched _their movie anyhow. She picked up the phone and dialed.

At Austin's house, Kaylie's cell phone rang. He paused the movie for the millionth time so she could answer it. "Hello?" she asked.

"Kaylie, its Payson. Are you with Austin?"

"Hi, Pay!" She put the phone on speaker so Austin could listen to. "Yes, Austin's here." She nudged him. "Say hi, Austin."

"Hi Payson," he greeted.

"What are you doing?" Kaylie asked her.

"I'm writing Emily's letter of recommendation."

"That should be easy; there are lots of good things to write about Emily," Kaylie responded, throwing a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it in her mouth. "Yes!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Payson asked through the phone.

"Never mind," Austin said. "Payson, it's not like I mind that you're calling or anything, but is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Payson said, "I just wanted to talk to someone. Sasha said that if he's in a hard situation," she paused, wondering if she should tell them this, but she decided to anyway, "he talks to people."

"What's the hard situation?" Kaylie asked, trying to catch another piece of popcorn in her mouth. Austin caught it with his hands and ate it. "Hey, that was mine!" Kaylie cried. "You owe me a piece of popcorn."

"The bowl's right there," Austin said, laughing.

"Fine, you owe me a Spruce Juice, then," Kaylie said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Okay, tomorrow at lunch?" he asked.

"You have a deal," she said, sticking her hand out for him to shake, and when he took it he pulled her in for a kiss. She laughed and swatted him away.

"I didn't mean to interrupt anything…" Payson said.

"No, no, we like having you here! We always like talking to…Austin, what the heck are you _doing?" _

"I'm seeing how many pieces of popcorn I can eat at one time," he said, stacking seven pieces in his mouth at once.

"You're going to choke," Payson warned, "be careful."

"Aus_tin! _Aus_tin! _Aus_tin!" _Kaylie cheered. He swallowed them all. Kaylie applauded and shouted her approval.

"You two are crazy," Payson said, shaking her head as though she was there and they could actually see her.

"And proud of it," Kaylie said, patting Austin on the back.

"So, Payson," he said, wiping his mouth, "what's the hard situation?"

"I know it's late," she said, "but could I come over? I really think I need to talk to you in person. My parents and Becca went to Denver for the weekend to look at boarding schools." Payson was suddenly extremely sad, and she didn't want to be alone.

"Little Becca is going to boarding school?" Kaylie asked with a sad tone in her voice.

"Just looking, and she'll never actually do it, but she's insisting she's serious about it, so Mom and Dad figured…"

"Sure, you can come over," Austin interrupted.

Kaylie swatted him. "Don't interrupt," she ordered. "What about Phoebe?" she asked.

"I can bring her over."

"YAY, PUPPY!" Kaylie squealed. Austin rolled his eyes.

Payson drove over to Austin's apartment with Phoebe in the passenger seat. When she got inside Phoebe raced to Austin and licked his face. "Hello, puppy," he cooed, "you're happy to see me? I'm happy to see _you _yes I am, yes I am." Payson sat cross legged on the couch. Kaylie nudged her and pointed her attention at Austin. They both stifled laughter. "So," he said, trying to regain his composure, "why'd you come over, Payson? Is everything alright?"

She wondered where she would start. Would she tell them why she loved Sasha, how he told her he loved her, or just simply that they were in love? It was very complicated. "Well…" she started slowly, "it's kind of like this."

She told them everything up to that point, trusting them not to panic. These were two of her best friends, they would understand, right? "Um…." Austin said, "Wow, uh…"

"Real words please, Austin," Kaylie said. "We're happy for you, Payson, but what are you going to do now?"

"We don't know. We said we'd talk about it tomorrow night. That's why I was kind of hoping for some advice."

Kaylie and Austin were both silent. He spoke first. "Wait, so you've both confessed your undying love to one another, but you haven't _kissed?" _

"Besides the infamous one," Payson said, a sheepish smile on her face, "no. But that's because we don't want to start anything without thinking it through and talking it over."

"You two are such…" Kaylie said, shaking her head, "I don't know, over thinkers. Why can't you just enjoy your time together? For all you know, tomorrow one of you could get hit by a bus and that would be the end of it. Shouldn't you live in the moment?"

"Very insightful," Austin agreed, nodding his head.

"I don't think you guys understand," Payson said. "If we decide to be together, we're risking everything we've worked our whole lives for. If we decide not to be together, then neither of us is going to be happy. It's a big decision. How can we _not _discuss the decision first?"

"But, why don't you take that risk? Why don't you just choose to be happy?" Kaylie asked. There was an audible quiet in the room. Payson didn't have an answer.

They were interrupted by a rapping on the door. "Austin, buddy, open up!"The knocking continued. Phoebe started barking like crazy. "Did you get a _dog? _Open the door!" Austin looked at Payson, then at the door, then back at Payson.

"Is that…?" Payson felt like Alice in Wonderland falling down the rabbit hole. Her head seemed fuzzy to her. She wasn't supposed to run into Max, after she was just telling her friends all about why she broke up with him. Maybe she didn't have a right to be nervous about seeing him, she thought, after all, she was the one that broke his heart, not the other way around, but she was still hurt. Being with Sasha made the pain from losing Max go away, but she was uncertain whether or not she could even be with the man that she loved, she didn't want to see the one she had wanted to love instead. She ran to hide in the closet before Austin had a chance to open the door, tears pooling in her eyes for stupid reasons, she thought.

_ I have no right. I have no right. _

Kaylie raced after her and they both ended up in the closet together when Max came in. "Hey, Phoebe, what are you doing here?" they heard him ask.

"Payson…" Kaylie whispered, but Payson put a finger to her lips.

"Max, this really isn't a good time."

"Why not?" Max was slurring his words. Payson covered her mouth with her hand. _He's drunk because of me. _

"Really, Max, I think you need to go. I'll call you a cab."

"I'm taking Phoebe back to her house."

"No, Max, that's okay. Payson knows she's here. You can go."

"Don't say her name!" Max yelled.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, sit down on the couch and I'll call you a cab. One second."

"But if I leave, how do I know you'll take care of Phoebe?"

"You can trust me."

"But you said her name. How can I trust you when you said her name?"

"I promise, Max, I'll never say it again. I think you need to talk to someone about this problem you have with…"

"With what?" Max interrupted. "I don't have a problem. I just had a teeny little drink, that's all."

"Never mind, I'll get you home, and we can talk about it tomorrow." Payson heard footsteps, and she heard Austin say, "Hi, I need a cab, please?"

After he left, Payson and Kaylie came out of the closet. Kaylie took Payson's hand and squeezed it. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I actually got a pretty good idea out of this whole mess."

"What?" Kaylie asked.

"Sasha and I should talk to a counselor."

"Wait…" Austin said, "_what?_"


	11. Art Talk

**AN: Thank you for all your reviews! I'm sorry I took so long to update, but I haven't gotten a good idea to follow up on Payson's counselor idea. **

"Haha, I win!" Payson cheered, placing her final word, "EDUCATION", down on the Scrabble board, gaining her 42 points with the triple word score, adding onto her total score of 446 and making it 488. Kaylie's score was 200, Kelly's was 245, and Lauren's was 90.

"I think it was clear the second we _started _that you were going to win, Pay," Kaylie said.

"It's not fair!" Lauren wailed. "Why do you have to be so…_smart?" _

"Well, if you ever read a book someday, maybe you'll be able to beat me," Payson smirked, then proceeded to sing _"We are the Champions" _at the top of her lungs, changing the lyrics to "_I am the Champion."_

Most people would be offended by this, but Lauren just groaned and plopped her head down on the pillow. "Can we do something _I_ like now?" 

"Sure," Kelly said, "what do you want to do?"

Lauren brightened. "MAKEOVERS!" She screamed, "Starting with Payson!"

The girls were having another Saturday night sleepover, arranged with lots of phone calls and discussions with their parents consisting of, "Can I go over to Lauren's at 7:00 and get picked up at 11:00 tomorrow morning?" that quickly changed to, "Oh, wait, Kaylie can't be there until 8:00, can I go then too?" and then changed to, "11:00 doesn't work for Payson, Becca is taking her to the art museum's new exhibit, so she's leaving at 10:30…can I go to the museum with her? She invited me." But they managed to end up at Lauren's house, miraculously all at the same time, and they ushered Payson up to Lauren's bathroom, sat her down at the vanity that had those Hollywood spotlight bulbs surrounding the mirror, and sorted through the makeup. Payson sat there, back turned to the mirror so she wouldn't see herself until she was done, almost amused, and wistfully remembered the night of the fashion show, the first time Sasha made her see that being a gymnast wasn't the only thing she could be proud of…

"Pink is always better," Lauren insisted.

"Not for Payson, _puh-lease_," Kelly scoffed.

"What color eye shadow do _you _want, Payson?" Kaylie asked.

"N-n-n-n-n-no," Lauren said, waving her pointer finger at Kaylie. "Payson is getting the makeover, not supervising it."

"Fine," Kaylie said, "but we do have to do something she'll like."

"She'll like it because we'll make her look good," Lauren insisted. "If it makes her a little uncomfortable, then, tough, because we're working hard."

"Yeah," Kelly agreed, "and I found a good eye shadow for her."

"What color?" Lauren demanded. Kelly secretly showed them without Payson seeing, and they squealed.

"Yes, we have to put that on her!" Kaylie said. "It's great. Close your eyes, Payson." Payson obliged with her mind in a faraway place. She thought about what type of counselor she and Sasha would see. Technically, she was still a child, so a child psychiatrist should be the best fit for her, but weren't couples counseling the only type that two people could be together? Or maybe that wasn't true. Payson had no idea. She'd never been to a therapist, because frankly she never needed one. She was strong in her own mindset, she knew what she wanted and she went for it, and she never needed to talk to somebody else about her own issues.

But this wasn't just her, this was her and Sasha, and they needed advice on what their next move should be.

Kaylie looked at her friend now and saw the expression on her face. She knew she was thinking about Sasha, and Kaylie wasn't sure how she felt about this. Payson had been pretty elaborate and genuine when she talked about why she loved him, and it didn't feel _wrong, _but it felt different. Sasha was their coach, the man they were supposed to trust with the most precious thing ever: their sport. She trusted him already, and she knew he was a good person, so why shouldn't Payson love him? She didn't think it was questionable of him to love her, and neither did Kaylie. Kaylie was just nervous because she didn't know Sasha very well on a personal level. He was trustworthy, but to what extent? Payson's thought about the therapist was good, she decided, because then a professional would be able to examine their relationship and say if it was healthy or not.

"Okay, Payson, you look gorgeous," Lauren said, applying the last bit of mascara, "now it's time for clothes!"

"Do you have her shoe size, too?" Kelly asked. "Shoes are the best part."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "I've known her for how long? Of course I have shoes in her size!"

"It wasn't that ridiculous a question, Lo," Kaylie said, "she's never seen your collection."

"What can we use as a blindfold?" Kelly asked. "She can't see her clothes."

"That'll mess up her makeup!" Lauren said, "No blindfolds."

"We should've done the clothes first," Kaylie said. They were silent for a moment. "Well, I guess she'll have to wait in the bathroom until we're ready for her to see them."

"Fine," Lauren groaned. "Don't look in the mirror, Payson," she ordered.

The three of them ran to Lauren's closet and picked out everything they thought would fit Payson and put it into three piles, one for shirts, one for bottoms, and one for dresses. Payson pressed her ear to the door, hearing Kelly and Kaylie arguing over colors. Fifteen minutes later they pulled Payson out and showed her the clothes, and she went and changed. When she walked out again, Lauren gasped, Kelly's breath caught, Kaylie was grinning, and before she could help herself she shrieked, "Pay, he will _love _you in that!"

There was a silence, then Kelly said, "…who?"

"Never mind," Payson and Kaylie said in unison.

Lauren gave them a suspicious glance. Payson gulped. "Oh," Lauren said, "my God. Payson has a _cruuuuuuuuuuuuush!" _

"No!" Kaylie exclaimed, "No, no she doesn't! I meant…Austin! I meant Austin!"

"No you did _not, please_," Lauren squealed, doing a little jig.

"Who is it?" Kelly asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Payson said dismissively. "He…"

"Doesn't like you back? Oh, that sucks," Kelly sighed sympathetically.

"No," Payson said defensively, "it's just…"

"You don't want the fact that the perfect little gymnast has a boyfriend getting back to Sasha?" Lauren asked. "I get it, but we won't tell _anyone, _I pinky swear."

"Guys," Kaylie said, "it's her business."

"Oh? Well, then how did _you _know, _Kaylie?" _Lauren demanded.

"I…uh…" Kaylie stuttered.

Lauren turned her attention to Payson. "Tell us."

"I need to talk to Kaylie for a second," Payson said quickly, whipping around. She caught her reflection in the doorknob for the first time. "Is that…me?" she asked softly. Her hair was soft and flowing. Her dress fit perfectly, a dark, dark, raven purple, V neck with an outward skirt. She'd never worn so much makeup before, but she admitted to herself that she was pretty. For the fourth time in her life, Payson felt pretty.

"Yep," Lauren said proudly, "it's you, aren't you going to thank me? Oh, and guess what, I'm letting you keep the dress, because the color _so _doesn't work for me, plus it's way too big…I don't even know _why _I have it."

"Thanks, Lo," Payson said, walking back to the bathroom to look at herself in the full length mirror.

Kelly leaned into Kaylie and whispered in her ear, "Its Sasha isn't it?"

Kaylie smiled a small smile and nodded her head, whispering back, "How did you know?"

"Little things I learned to look for from my mom. The way they lock eyes sometimes, she finishes his sentences, and when they bicker they look like an old married couple…" Kelly shook her head. "Anybody who really watches them together would be able to tell."

"What are you two talking about?" Lauren demanded. "Did you tell Kelly who Payson's crush is but not _me?" _

"No," Kaylie said, because it wasn't a lie. Kelly had figured it out herself.

"Well, tell us both, then."

"It's for me to know, and you to find out," Payson said, emerging from the bathroom.

"Done staring at your reflection, Miss Keeler?" Kaylie teased.

"Oh, stop it," Payson said, swatting her. "I have to get some sleep."

The next morning, Payson drove home, the new purple dress in her duffle. She went up to her room to change into it for the art museum. Becca came out wearing a green blouse and a tight black skirt, which was dangerously short. Payson walked down the stairs and saw her, a little disapproval showing in her face. Becca rolled her eyes and said, "You're not mom, for God's sake. You're seventeen!" She gave her sister the once-over. "And for once," she said, indicating with her finger she wanted Payson to turn around, which she did, "you actually look like it!"

Kim and Mark Keeler were in the living room watching an old British movie. Kim laughed at something Mark whispered in her ear, and it was subtle gestures like this that made Payson happy, knowing that her parents had one of those lucky relationships that would stay intact forever. "Hi, girls," Mark said, turning around to look at them. He whistled. "Man, you look beautiful. Have fun, and keep an eye out for those boys. The art freaks are dangerous." Payson rolled her eyes.

"Right, Dad, see you later."

"Wait!" Kim shrieked, getting up to give her daughter a squeeze. "I haven't seen you since yesterday, Pay, how was Lauren's?"

"Good, she gave me this dress." Payson modeled it for her mother.

"Well, wasn't that nice of her, why?" Kim looked at her daughter in approval.

"It didn't fit her," Payson laughed.

"Oh, I see, okay, well, you girls have fun!" Kim waggled her fingers at them, looking a little sad to see her girls all grown up. "See some good art."

"We will," Becca assured him, kissing her mom on the cheek and turning to leave, taking Payson's hand.

Once they got to the museum, Payson navigated her way around it like an old pro. She had practically spent all her Sundays there since she was twelve. When they first moved to Boulder Mark used to take them, Becca squirming and pouting and wanting to leave, while Payson stood riveted as she stared at the huge portraits of British kings and Russian countesses from the seventeenth century, wondering how anybody could paint something so magnificent. Becca grew a taste for art as she got older, and when a new exhibit came to the museum all the way from Maryland they couldn't wait to go see it.

"I heard lots of great artists were from Maryland," Becca said, trying to sound smart.

"The artists weren't from Maryland, the collectors were," Payson said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, well of course," Becca scoffed. They couldn't help it; they burst into laughter right in the middle of the quiet museum.

"Oh, look, it's my favorite painting!" Payson practically squealed, going over to stare at Renoir's _Child with Hoop _from 1875. "When I was little I saw a picture of it in a library book," she explained to Becca, "then in Minnesota I found it on a greeting card and bought ten of them to put on my window sill. I don't know what I loved so much about it, maybe the child's cheeks, or maybe all the reds in the background, or maybe the curl in the hair," she said, making a gesture to indicate the curl she was speaking of. "Renoir did at least three of these, there's another with an older child with bright red hair and a big pink bow in her hair. I always imagined that was this one once she grew up a little, if it is even a girl, it's hard to tell at that age, since there's no indication on the plaque."

"It's beautiful," Becca agreed.

"There's also something different out this Oil on Canvas than a lot of the others," Payson said. "There's so much potential in this child, you know? She was made for a reason, just like we were, and she doesn't even know it. All she's concerned with is playing with that hoop. It's kind of funny, really," she said with a small laugh. "Her eyes are so bright and eager to play. She's exactly like you used to be. Her dress is simple, she's a little bit overweight, just a little, but she doesn't even care. She's precisely what Sasha is always telling us to be, with a short memory, able to forget all of our worries and grudges and concerns with what people think of us, and just play. Which is really what we do, isn't it? We play a sport, but it's not just fun for us, it's our life. This child doesn't concern herself with that, but you can tell she's going to do great things, you can just…tell."

"Now," Sasha said from behind her, "you can tell all that by just looking at her? She's just a kid with a _hoop_, you know." She turned around to look at him in his suit, a playful smile on his face. Her eyebrows rose.

"I'm surprised to see you here."

"Why?" he asked defensively.

"Well, for one," she said, "you basically just said that a painting that's worth millions of dollars is just a kid with a _hoop." _

"Yeah, so?" he asked. "I can still like art."

"He's in a suit, Payson," Becca pointed out. "Sasha probably only wears a suit for stuff he really cares about." Payson looked at him, skeptical.

He nodded eagerly. "It's true!"

She laughed. "Okay, okay, I was just surprised. What do you think of this?" she asked, gesturing to a grand portrait, seven feet tall, of a German ruler with a grumpy look on his face from the fourteenth century.

"Now, this," Sasha said, "is what _I _like."

"You can't possibly tell me you like a mean old king better than a smiling little girl," Payson scoffed.

"Don't get me wrong," Sasha said, "I love the painting you were talking about. I know what you mean by potential. I just like how big this is, how much tireless work it must've required. And, all you saw was his facial expression. Did you even notice his clothes, how detailed and intricate they are?"

Becca watched as Sasha guided Payson through all the paintings he liked, telling her all of his preferences, his tastes. She watched her sister's bright eyes, seeing things in a whole new light. It was like she was seeing a different world, Becca thought, and had completely forgotten about her in the process. Oh well, she thought, this was fun, watching her sister be so transfixed. Of course Becca knew that _Sasha _loved her, please. It was obvious. _Did Payson even see his expression when he saw her in that new dress?_


	12. A Letter

**AN: Thank you everyone! **

Payson needed to talk to Sasha tomorrow, but there would be no time, she knew. It was Sunday night; she sat in her room on her computer. There would always be somebody in the room they couldn't get rid of; they would probably never get the opportunity to be alone. This was kind of embarrassing, what she wanted to say to him, and incredibly too personal for anyone else's ears.

She decided to write a letter. It was the only way, and she would deliver it to him personally, watch him as he locked it in his desk to read later, to make sure no one else would find it. She got a sheet of paper and a pen, and started,

_Dear Sasha, _

_No one writes letters anymore. It's kind of sad, really, I've always liked getting letters even though the only person who ever wrote one to me was Becca away at sleepaway camp one year. Lauren tells me I sound like a grandmother when I say "It's a shame", but it's true. It's a shame that everything is done electronically now, it makes things a lot less personal. I think an individual loses a lot of their character if they use texting or a computer to tell people their opinions. Some people only communicate over texting, and never see each other in person. Let's never let that happen to us, Sasha, I don't want to text you, I want to talk to you. It's too bad I can't tell you in person. Of course, I'm writing a letter just for practicality, because I don't think I'll get an opportunity to tell you in person, privately. _

_But anyway, never mind all that. We both know we're at a loss for what to do next in terms of our relationship. No matter what we decide, we can't win, not fully. I've been thinking a lot, and always come to the same conclusion. If we wait until after the Olympics, we're not happy, and if we don't, then we're always nervous and can't really enjoy ourselves and our time together. _

_I hope you won't be mad, but Kaylie forced it out of me. She trusts you, and us together, and she won't tell anybody. She actually gave me some good advice, but I can't see myself following it. She said to live in the moment, be with each other while we can, and that the whole point of relationships were to have fun with the other person, so why don't we? I know why we don't. It's for our careers and our reputations. We're in the home stretch now; the Olympics aren't very far off. I think we need a professional opinion. _

_Yes, I mean therapy. No, I don't mean weekly sessions, because we don't need it, we're an unusual case. It's expensive, it can cost thousands of dollars, that's why I only intend for us to go once, twice at most, just to get some insight from a doctor on what they think is best. We'll make it clear with them we don't want any prejudice; we just want a recommendation. You might not want to share things like this with a complete stranger, but somebody just looking in on the outside would have a fresh take on us, and everything is strictly confidential. Kaylie says her therapist really helped her decide whether or not to come back to gymnastics. Don't think of it like therapy, though; think of it like us deciding what to do. And besides, we don't even have to do what they tell us. If they say go ahead, we can still wait until after the Olympics. It's all up to us. It's our lives. I know you might be against this, but I know it would help me to get some insight. If you don't want to come, I'll go alone. I love you, more every day. I don't want to lose any more sleep on this decision. It affects my gymnastics, and we have to realize, Sasha, that we need all the help we can get._

_ From,_

_ Payson. _

_P.S. You do realize that I love you, right? I'm not changing my mind. When I said I wanted to be an Olympian at six, everybody thought it was a phase that I would grow out of. This is not a phase, Sasha. These feelings aren't going to go away, ever. This is for life._

She sealed it, licked it, and wrote his name on the outside. On the drive to the gym the next day, Payson listened to Becca jabber on and on about her campaign for "Most Popular."

"I made posters and key chains and I'm going to hand out lollipops…"

"Becca," Payson interrupted, "don't you think Sasha might be against the lollipops?"

"Well, that's just tough, because I worked hard to get these lollipops, and if he doesn't like them, then too bad!" Becca snapped. She turned her attention back to her mother. "And I took a one hundred pack of pens and I bedazzled them and covered them in glitter and I'm going to hand them out…"

Payson got out of the car, looking up at the huge Rocky Awards banner almost covering the sign to the entrance. It was pink and sparkly, with the words "_Vote Lauren Tanner for Most Popular!" _underneath. It was this Saturday night, and everyone was buzzing with excitement, except for the few who were planning to stay late and train this Saturday, like Payson. "And then my big plan," Becca continued, "is that I convinced Sasha to play music while we train from my iPod…"

"How did you manage that?" Kim Keeler asked, amused.

"Well…" Becca said with a mischievous smile on her face, "I have my ways…"

"Like what?" Payson asked, curious herself.

"I know a few things…" Becca said vaguely, running into the gym.

"You did not!" Payson cried, running after her. "You did _not!" _

"Says who?" Becca asked mysteriously.

"Becca, you couldn't have threatened Sasha…"

"…to tell everybody about his secret little feelings for you? No, of course I didn't." Payson relaxed. "That isn't to say," she started again, "I didn't use my knowledge to my advantage." She tapped her temple in a thinking gesture. "Think about it." Payson watched her sister walk over to the beam and start stretching. Her grip on the gym bag in her hands tightened. In a small little pocket in the corner her letter lay, waiting to be placed on Sasha's desk. She ran up the stairs to his office before she changed her mind. He wasn't there yet, so she rested the letter on his keyboard and slipped out again before anybody noticed. Almost immediately Taylor Swift boomed through the speaker behind her. Payson sighed while everyone else cheered. "Excuse me, everyone!" Becca called. "I convinced Sasha to let us play music while we train, and if anyone has any song requests, please write them down and give them to me, and be sure to vote for Becca Keeler for 'Most Popular' at the 2011 Rocky Awards!"

Lauren's fists clenched besides Payson. "This," she said, "is _war." _

Later that day, Sasha reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the envelope. He recognized the handwriting instantly. It was Payson, and he had been saving the letter for "later" all day, but now he finally had a chance to read it.

Worry tightened its hold on his chest. Of course he was concerned that she would change his mind about him. He was so _old, _he realized, and her life was just beginning. Why would she waste her valuable time as a young woman on him? What if that was what this letter was about?

Well, wasn't he surprised to open the letter and see the word "therapy" written all over it?

He was reluctant and skeptical at first, really, what did they need a counselor for? But he reread the letter, and when Payson said she'd go alone, he knew she meant it. If she had to suffer the humiliation of it at all, he didn't want her to be without him. Besides, it made sense, and she said it was affecting her sport, so…what choice did he have, really?

That night, Payson there was a knock on the door and she heard her mother answer it. "Sasha!" Kim said in surprise. Immediately Payson's back straightened and her feet came off of the coffee table. _Was he here about her letter? Was he mad? Did he even read it?_

"Hello, Kim," Sasha greeted warmly. "Is Payson here?"

"Yes, right here, can I get you anything?" Kim asked, letting him in and heading for the kitchen.

"That's okay; I'll only be a minute, but thank you anyway." He walked into the living room and sat next to Payson. "Hi," he said, "I was wondering if I could talk to you," he glanced at Kim in the doorway, "privately, about a number of things.

Payson felt dizzy, her stomach lurched in worry. "S-sure," she stuttered, "we could go to my room."

Kim nodded. "Okay," she said, "I can take a hint."

"Thank you, Kim," Sasha smiled. Payson led him to her room, closing the door behind her. His eyes darted around for a minute, his mouth quirked at all the trophies and medals, which he was not surprised about. What he was surprised about was the picture of him at his Olympic win taped to the mirror. When she saw him looking at it Payson's face went red.

"Before you say anything," she quickly started, "I'm sorry about the letter." Sasha shifted to look at her. "I should've talked to you in person, and it was a stupid idea anyway, I just thought it might help me…"

He slowly walked towards and laid a finger on her lips. "Shh," he whispered. She looked up at him, and he was struck with the depth in her eyes. "It was not," he said firmly, "a stupid idea. I agree with you, 100%, and I'll be glad to do it."

"You will?" she asked softly.

"Of course, I'm in love with you, aren't I?" The smile on her face widened.

"I certainly hope so," she joked.

He laughed. "I found a good one…" he cleared his throat, taking a sheet of paper with the man's name out of his pocket and giving it to her, "I scheduled an appointment for this Sunday at 2:00, and I don't know if that works for you or not, we could reschedule…"

"Sasha," she said, reaching in for a hug. He obliged. "I'll be there," she whispered in his ear, kissing the area above it. He shivered.

"Will it be okay with Kim?" he murmured.

"Guess what?" Payson asked. "It's our lucky day. She's going to a book club meeting in Denver at 1:30, and Dad's in Minnesota. She said Becca and I could go to a movie, and Becca knows, anyway…"

"Becca _what?" _

"She figured it out by watching us at the museum. Apparently we're not very discreet," Payson shrugged. "It's okay, though."

"I guessed when she approached me about the music, but I was hoping I was wrong."

"What did she say?" Payson demanded.

"She just said that you would be disappointed in me if I said no," Sasha explained, "because you were rooting for your sister and if she lost that you would blame me for telling her she couldn't use her iPod. And that's also another reason I came by, we need to decide who will win the Payson Keeler Cup this year." Payson was quiet, and sat down at her desk. "What's wrong?" Sasha asked immediately, kneeling beside her. "Was it something I said about…?"

"No," she insisted, "that's not it, it's just…"

"Just…what?" Sasha asked gently.

"It should have been Emily," she whispered, "Emily should have the Cup this year. I was so horrible to her before she left. I was so mad, I told her that she should've listened to you again and again when you told her no boyfriends, and then she cried and told me she needed a friend and I hugged her but I was so…cruel."

"You were not cruel, Payson, only a little insensitive. You know how Emily is. She's as strong willed as you. If you don't agree with her she kicks and screams until she gets her way. She was in a horrible position, and she had an awful decision to make, but you still had every right to be upset with her. You needed her, and she failed you. But then you realized, the way Emily did, that not everything works out your way. Do something wrong, and there are consequences. You were wonderful with her when she came to Boulder, and the way you spoke to Miranda made up for everything."

"You think so?"

"I do," he said firmly, "and you know, Kaylie could also be a contender. She was in as tough a situation as Emily, and she came back to us. Then she was true to herself and announced her disease to the world with incredible composure. Without her floor we wouldn't have won."

"Okay," Payson agreed, "Kaylie it is. And Sasha," she said before he had a chance to stand up, "thank you for everything, and thank you for not being upset about the letter."

"Upset?" he asked. "Why would I be? Did you write something upsetting in there that I missed?"

"No," she laughed.

"You know what my favorite part was?" he asked.

"What, the part where I rambled on about how no one writes letters anymore?"

"No," he teased, "Although I did like that, the part where you said you would love me forever was the best, in my opinion."

"That was my favorite part too," she murmured, leaning her head on his shoulder.


	13. Secrets and Lies

**AN: Sorry it's been a little while…again. I've been really busy, but I do have time to write now! This is fun. I'm excited.**

"Payson," Kim called, "we have to go home and get ready for the Awards!" Payson sighed. She was still balanced on one foot standing on the beam. She let her leg rest, took down her hair and checked her watch before hopping down and joining her mother.

"Hey, Payson, you can come back to my house to get ready with me," Kaylie offered, "if you want."

"No way," Becca said, pulling her sister toward her by the arm. "Payson has to help me plan one last strategic pull for my win."

"I told you, I want no part of this," Payson argued.

"She better not," Lauren said, putting her hands on her hips and strutting over to join them. "Payson is rooting for _me." _

"I'm her sister!" Becca cried.

"I'm her best friend!" Lauren shot back.

"I'm not rooting," Payson said, a tight smile on her face, "for _anybody_. And to avoid an argument I think I'll just get ready at Kaylie's, if that's alright with _you, _Mom, I need _your_ permission," she shot Lauren and her sister a look, "no one else's."

"That's fine, Payson," Kim said, looking at them all worriedly. "Becca, I'll wait in the car."

"Fine," Becca sighed then glared at Lauren.

"I swear, Pay, your sister needs to learn some manners," Lauren said, sauntering out the door and to her new Corvette Steve bought her for her individual win at Worlds on beam.

Becca's fist clenched. "Let it go," Kaylie told her. "If it makes you feel any better, she's only attacking you because she's scared you'll beat her." Payson looked at her in surprise. "What?" Kaylie asked. "Lo is my best friend, and no offense, Becca, but I voted for her. Still, I like both of you, and if I have to be in the center of this, then I want to be neutral. You know," she added, "like…Switzerland."

"Aw, thanks, Kay," Payson sing-songed, lightly punching her in the shoulder. "Let's go. See you later, Becca."

"Bye," Becca said.

In Kaylie's car, Payson buckled her seatbelt. "So, are you excited?" she inquired.

Kaylie bit her lip. "For what?" she asked.

"The Awards," Payson said, "obviously."

"Not really, I'm not running for anything."

"Uh-huh," Payson said sarcastically, "and what are you going to wear?"

"My blue dress with the V-neck and the black belt with my pumps and my hair straightened with my pearl barrette and my hoop earrings and my silver bangles I got in Italy, although I considered my floral skirt with my black blouse and my hair curled with my new necklace I just got," she answered, taking a drink of her herbal tea before starting the car. They looked at each other for a moment, and then burst out laughing. "Let's go," Kaylie giggled. "Wait," she said, "what about your dress? Where is it?"

"It's in my gym bag," Payson said, like it should be obvious. Kaylie rolled her eyes and laughed again. Payson, suddenly defensive, muttered, "Let's just go," so they did.

When they arrived at Kaylie's house, Ronnie Cruz ushered them inside. After much debate and several Spruce Juices, she and Alex, Kaylie's father, had decided not to divorce, ironically on the date of their 20th anniversary. She had become a faithful gym mom again, coming to watch Kaylie train more often than her father did. "This is so exciting!" she said. "I wonder who's going to win your cup this year," she said, winking at Payson. Payson had told Alex, who had probably told Ronnie, that Kaylie was going to win the award.

"Yeah, who is going to win, Pay?" Kaylie asked.

"I'm not going to ruin the surprise," Payson said, trying to keep her tone casual.

"Oh, come on!" Kaylie groaned. "Just tell me."

"You'll just have to see," Payson argued, "but I promise, you'll be really surprised."

"It's not going to be you again, is it?" Kaylie teased.

"Maybe," Payson sing-songed, much to Kaylie's annoyance, she was sure. "I can't tell you."

They got ready together; Payson in the dress Lauren gave her again, curling her hair while Kaylie straightened hers. "Oh," Kaylie said, rifling through a drawer, "my…"

"What?" Payson asked.

"Remember these?" Kaylie asked, holding up two necklaces. One said PAYSON, the other KAYLIE spelled on the locket, and on the back of one of the pendant in cursive it read BEST, the other FRIENDS. "Look, I found Lauren's, too!" she said, holding up another that said FOREVER. Inside all three of the lockets was a picture of the three of them at gymnastics camp in matching pink leotards and French braided hair, arms around one another. "When did we have these made?" She laughed, "When we were like, thirteen?"

"Maybe," Payson smiled, looking at the bright eyed girl in the little picture. Who would've thought? She considered to herself, that this person would grow up to be so careless as to fall in love with someone in a position of authority to her? No, she would not think like that, she was determined. She and Sasha were not doing anything wrong, and it wasn't like they had ever intended for this to happen, it just did, and they were better together than they were apart…right? And what if the therapist didn't agree, and told her parents, or worse, somebody from the NGO? Sasha would be ruined, all because of her stupid idea. That was just more evidence, she realized, that her feelings for him were extremely similar to the way her parents talked about each other, always putting the other's needs before their own. She knew that Sasha felt the same way as her, he admitted it, and getting Sasha to admit anything was quite a feat. They were in _love, _and they were both perfectly single. It wasn't like she was his mistress or anything, and there were plenty of people whose partners were older than them. What about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? He was seventeen years older than her, and they had been married for years!

"We should wear them, and I'll bring Lo's to the Awards so she can wear hers, too," Kaylie said, helping Payson fasten hers around her neck. "I can't believe I found these! Why did we even stop wearing them?"

"We took them off so we could go in the pool," Payson said, for after all, she had an excellent memory, as she closed the clasp on Kaylie's necklace for her. "We didn't want them to rust."

Kaylie shook her head. "You astonish me, Pay," she said. "I could never remember that."

The Cruz family and Payson piled into their car and drove to the gym. They could hear music booming from inside. Lauren and Becca were both standing at the door. Lauren was holding a basket full of "VOTE LAUREN FOR MOST POPULAR GIRL EVER AT THE ROCK TWO WHOLE YEARS IN A ROW!" _huge _buttons. They would probably take up a quarter of Payson's dress. Becca had a basket full of "Vote Becca Keeler most popular!" and the sparkly bedazzled pens she had been talking about earlier. The pens were much more extravagant than the buttons, and Payson took one of everything. She attached the buttons to her purse so her dress wouldn't suddenly have a huge gaping hole in it after she took off the one Lauren made. Kaylie tucked her pen behind her ear, which made her look cute, but when Payson did it she ended up looking like an idiotic newspaper reporter who had a strange obsession with sparkles. She took it off and tucked it in her bag.

Up in his office, Sasha shook his head at Steve Tanner. _"No way," _he said sternly.

"Come on, Sasha, you're the coach!"

"Why can't Summer do it, like last year?" Sasha suggested.

Steve's lips pursed at the sound of his old fiancé's name. "Because," he sighed, "Summer had to go to a charity function at her church and couldn't come."

Sasha rolled his eyes like a huffy teenager. "Okay, what about Kim?"

"She wants to sit with her family. Probably so she can console Becca after she loses."

Sasha ignored that last comment. "Fine then," he smirked, "what about _you?" _

"I want to sit with Lauren so I can congratulate her after she wins!"

"Fine," he relented, "I will emcee. I will _host _the Awards." Steve looked elated. "But you owe me," Sasha added, "and I will never _ever_ do this again. And we're talking some big debt, Steve Tanner. You still owe me for that party." He pointed a finger in the other man's face to prove his point and nodded his head in conclusion. "Now then," he said, as he straightened his tuxedo jacket. "The gymnasts are waiting." He grabbed a bouquet of a variety of different flowers from his desk. Steve raised his eyebrows. "For the National Team," Sasha explained. "I'll give each of them one or two. I didn't want to just get one kind…since they all have different tastes."

"Uh huh," Steve responded, "and who is the rose for?" Sasha followed his gaze to the single red rose in the arrangement.

"Whoever…takes it," Sasha replied, clearing his throat and avoiding Steve's hefty stare. "If you'll excuse me," he included, pushing past him and offering a flower to Lauren, who unsurprisingly took a pink carnation and tucked it into her dress like a brooch. Kaylie took two yellow tulips, and Kelly an orchid. "You can take another," he offered, but she declined, saying that one would be enough. Sasha made his way over to Payson, and was halfway there when he was bombarded by Lauren, hand in hand with Max.

"Oh, excuse me, Sasha, I don't know how I could be so clumsy!" she giggled.

"Is that a rose?" Max asked. "I hope you're not intending on giving that to Lauren," he joked. She shrieked with laughter.

"Oh, Max, you are so silly!" She hit him in the shoulder. "He wouldn't mind if you gave it to me, Sasha. He's just overprotective, like a big brother."

"That's right," he confirmed. She pouted.

"Don't act like I shouldn't be concerned, you two. Does _anybody _follow the no dating rule anymore?" Sasha asked, exasperated. Lauren's expression turned nervous, and Max squeezed her hand. "Alright, alright, let me just offer Payson her flower and we can start the Awards. Lauren, go sit with your father, and Austin was looking for _you, _Max." They ran off, leaning their heads in to whisper to each other. Sasha shook his head, but a voice in the back of his head told him he was being hypocritical. Didn't he want Payson to break the no dating rule with _him? _He pushed those thoughts aside. He was in love with her, and he was fully committed to her. In time, he admitted, he might even want to marry her should she feel the same way by then. He refocused and saw Payson watching him from his peripheral vision. He smiled, and turned to meet her eyes. He walked over to her, nothing else on his mind but her. "Hello, Kim," he greeted her mother, "Becca," he acknowledged, and lastly "…Payson. I'm giving all the National Team members a flower or two," he swept his hand over the flowers like a salesman offering a product, lingering a little over the rose. "Just to congratulate everyone on Rio, and of course, for your individual medal on vault which was incredible." Payson smiled at him, her eyes shining. Becca watched them closely. "So, please, pick!" Sasha offered the flowers to her.

"That's very nice of you, Sasha," Kim commented.

"Thank you, Sasha; I think I'll have two, if that's okay." She selected a yellow tulip to match Kaylie's and the red rose, as beautiful as her, giving him a small wink when her mother wasn't looking. Sasha noticed the unfamiliar locket around her neck; it was glistening, just like her eyes, and thought he had seen a similar one around Kaylie and Lauren's necks. It didn't look nearly as pretty on them, he thought devilishly.

"I like the locket," he complimented. Payson was a vision. He didn't even realize she was wearing the same dress as she had at the museum. She made everything look new, even a leotard he had seen on her thousands of times.

"Thank you," she repeated, fingering with it, smiling broadly. Was it him that made her smile? He hoped so.

"Payson, I actually noticed that, too, where did you get it?" Kim asked.

"It's from when Kaylie, Lauren and I were younger," Payson answered, her eyes never leaving Sasha's. "We got them made right before we left for gymnastics camp the year we were thirteen. Kaylie found them when we were at her house in a drawer. There's a…picture inside." Sasha instantly thought of "_In my Life" _when Payson said the word picture, probably because of how often the song mentions memories. That's what the picture in the locket was, a memory, he thought. He wanted to see it, but her mother beat him to the punch.

"Let me see." Kim leaned in and squinted so she could see the small picture.

"Becca, why don't you take a flower, too?" Sasha asked, "For good luck." She nodded and took a marigold. "Um, could I see the picture, too, Payson?"

"Oh," Payson said, surprised. "Okay." She undid the clasp and opened the locket, holding it out for him to see. He cupped his hand under hers and looked closer at the picture. He smiled and nodded, thanking her. The girl in the necklace looked just like the Payson he knew; laughing with her friends, but then the 2012 Olympics was a faraway dream for her, unlike now. That was four years ago, he realized. What had he been doing four years ago?

"Time to start the show," he said to them. He pointed at Kim. "I'm still mad at you for not doing this for me," he said. She laughed. Becca looked confused, and Kim explained to her what he meant in a whisper.

Payson's gaze lingered on him as he walked up the stage. "Welcome to the 2011 Rocky Awards!" he greeted at the microphone with incredibly phony enthusiasm. The crowd laughed and cheered. Payson smiled and remembered last year, crying on the staircase, having Sasha tell her that he would always be there for her, and that she could do it. That was a reason she loved him, that she knew she could depend on him, like how she trusted him to show at their therapist's appointment the next day. "We're going to start off the night with a word from the head of the Rock's Parents Board, Steve Tanner." Payson noticed Becca's golf clap; she knew her sister was anxious for the results of the voting. Little did she know her unenthusiasm towards the Tanners was for an entire different reason.

"Hello!" Mr. Tanner said. "I just wanted to thank you all for voting to keep me head this year, even though this time nobody was brave enough to challenge my position!" He laughed at his own lame joke. Mrs. Keeler's smile looked tight. Her cell phone rang. She took it as a welcome excuse to leave for a moment.

"Mark, hi," she said, exiting the building. "I'm so glad you called."

Payson turned her attention back to Lauren's dad. "I also wanted to inform everybody, publicly, that Summer and I are no longer engaged." There was a collective groan of sympathy from the crowd, but it sounded staged, because everyone already knew. News travelled fast. "But, don't be unhappy, no, this is a happy thing! Marrying one another would have been a huge mistake! I am proud to remain a bachelor! The only woman in my life is my beautiful, wonderfully talented daughter, Lauren. Did you know that without her beam routine, the United States would never have won Worlds?"

Payson saw Kaylie roll her eyes at the table next to theirs. Kim Keeler leaned in and whispered in her daughter's ear, "They wouldn't have won without your vault, Kelly's bars, or Kaylie's floor either. He's acting like Lauren did better than the whole rest of the team."

"Anyway, Lauren basically grew up here, after all I founded the gym because of her ambitions," Steve Tanner continued. "So basically, without her, the Rock would not exist! Therefore, I think it's only fair that she be voted Most Popular two years in a row! So please, vote Lauren Tanner!"

He was finished. There was a silent moment before Lauren stood up and clapped. "Yay, Daddy!" she exclaimed. Payson and Becca glanced at each other.

Sasha took over the microphone. "Okay..." he said. "Thanks, Steve. Lauren, you can sit down now." She did. "Um, I guess the next order of business is to announce the winner of the 2nd annual Payson Keeler Cup. It makes sense that since it's her award, Payson should announce it…so," he locked eyes with her, "could you come up here…for a second?" She smiled and nodded, walking up the steps to the stage. He handed her the trophy.

"Um, okay," she said, "hi everyone."

"Hi!" they all chorused back.

"So, the winner of this award…" She thought about Kaylie for a moment before continuing. "….is a good friend of mine. Last year, when Sasha gave me the cup, I was surprised that anyone would recognize me in such a…amazing way." She saw Sasha smile out of the corner of her eye. "I knew it was because of everything that I'd been through, breaking my back…and everything, and I was very happy, but I still didn't understand why it was given to me, when so many other gymnasts have injured themselves and recovered. I don't want this year's winner to feel that way. She was so much stronger than I was in her recovery. She didn't_ need_ anybody to believe in her, even though we did, because she believed in _herself_, and although we were always there for her, she got through the hard parts all on her own. The first day I came here when I was twelve, she was the first person to say hello to me. She was the first friend I ever made in Boulder. Seeing her be so strong makes me want to be stronger. We couldn't have won Worlds without her," she added, making Lauren pout and Becca put a hand over her mouth to cover her smile, "and that is why, this year's Payson Keeler Cup goes to my best friend, Kaylie Cruz." Sasha was the first one to clap. Kaylie's smile was wide, her cheeks were red, and she walked up to the stage looking very happy but a little bit embarrassed.

Payson was smiling too, and hugged her before giving her the trophy. Kaylie went to the microphone. "Wow, thanks, Pay!" she said, and everybody laughed. "Um, I just wanted to say that we couldn't have won Worlds without you, or Kelly, or Lauren either, and…" she paused, "um….thanks….again!" Everybody clapped for her as she took her seat again. Payson made her way back to the table.

Lauren intercepted her. "Wait, Payson, can I talk to you?" she whispered.

"Um… but the Awards…?" Payson said.

"It'll only take a second."

"Sure." Lauren pulled her into the back staircase.

"Look, Max and I are getting really serious, he calls me his girlfriend all the time, and he's my boyfriend, and I just wanted to say…" Payson raised her eyebrows. "…I think…he might be thinking about asking me to marry him."

"What?" Payson asked. She was more than a little alarmed. "Lauren, we're seventeen! It's not even legal for us to get married yet without our parent's permission, and the Olympics are so close…we can't even _date, _how do you think Sasha's going to feel about _marriage? _You don't need to distraction of wedding planning, or…" A thought struck her. "Oh no, Lauren, you aren't pregnant, are you?"

"No!" Lauren cried. "And he hasn't even asked me yet, I never said I told him yes…but I found…a Tiffany box, in his jacket pocket when I was looking for his car keys tonight before we came…and I opened it, and it's a ring with a diamond the size of my fist! I put it back before he found me looking at it, but I've been wondering about it the whole night!" To her friend's horror, Lauren actually looked a little excited.

"Oh, Lauren," Payson said, shaking her head. "What are you going to do?"

"Well, see, that's the thing," Lauren said. "I don't even know if it's for me, it's just a guess, since…well, he already told me he loved me…"

"Who else could it be for?"

"You," Lauren whispered softly.

Payson was stunned. "No way," she said. "We broke up!"

"That doesn't mean he's over you," Lauren said skeptically.

"Lauren, I dumped him, very harshly, and maybe a little cruelly! Do you really think he's going to propose to me after I made it very clear I wanted nothing to do with him romantically?"

"I just wanted to warn you," Lauren said almost giddy with animation, "and I didn't want you finding out from someone else in case he actually asks….Payson, are you okay?" Her expression was suddenly concerned.

"Of course," she insisted. "I'm over him. I got over him the second we got home from Rio."

"Okay. Good." Lauren looked relieved, and happiness flashed in her eyes again. "We should probably be getting back to the Awards." Payson nodded, following Lauren out of the stairwell and back into the main area. She made her way back to her table. Becca wasn't there.

"Hey, Pay! Where did you go?" Kim asked.

"The…bathroom," Payson lied.

"Is Becca with you?"

"No, Mom, I don't generally take Becca to the bathroom with me…why? Did she leave?"

"Sasha announced an intermission, and the next time I looked at her chair, she was gone, and so were you. I assumed you went off somewhere together, but you haven't seen her?" Payson shook her head.

"Why would there be an intermission?" she asked. "There's never an intermission."

"Something happened backstage with the projector or the computer…they were going to show a PowerPoint of the trip to Rio and Worlds…I don't know, but where could Becca be?"

"Maybe she came into the bathroom while I was in the stall…and then came out of the stall after I left?" Payson suggested.

"I hope so," Kim said worriedly. "Could you go look for her, for me?"

"Okay," Payson agreed. She went into the bathroom, calling her sister's name, but no answer. She went over to Austin, sitting by Kaylie. "Hey, guys, have you seen Becca anywhere? I can't find her, she must've wandered off."

"I saw her talking to Max a little while ago," he answered. "Maybe she's with him somewhere?"

"Why would Becca be talking to Max?" Kaylie asked. Austin shrugged.

"Did you see the direction they went?" Payson asked. "My mom is getting worried."

"I think they went towards the stairs, maybe they're in the basement?" Austin wondered. Kaylie hit him lightly in the shoulder.

"Why would they be in the _basement, _Austin?" she said, rolling her eyes.

He held up his hands in an "I surrender" position. "I don't know! But they wouldn't go upstairs, gymnasts aren't allowed."

"I'll try the basement anyway, but I doubt they're there," Payson said. "Thanks for your help."

"Wait, Pay, I'll go with you," Kaylie offered, getting up.

"Hey!" Austin said. "What about me?"

"You can come too," she said, "Come on."

They made their way towards the staircase, walking down the steps. Payson heard a giggle. She held up her hand, peering over the banister, putting her weight on it. Kaylie and Austin did the same. They all heard another laugh. "Max!" they heard a girl's voice gasp. Payson's eyes went wide. It was Becca, her back pressed against the wall, while Max stood there, kissing her neck, tightly gripping her waist. Her hands were around his neck, his inching up her dress. "Max," she said again, "you…" Max silenced her by pressing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. It looked almost violent. Payson looked over at Kaylie, her eyes wide. Kaylie's hand was over her mouth, and Austin looked ready to punch the wall. They kept kissing, Becca pushing him down on the floor and lying on top of him, hands blindly unbuttoning his shirt. Max was fiddling with the zipper at the back of her dress, but didn't dare pull it down, probably for fear of pressuring her. Becca's hands moved to his cheeks, pulling his head away. "Max!" she repeated, a little louder. "I'm ready. You can."

His eyes shone. She started kissing his neck. "I love you so much, Becca Keeler," he gasped, unzipping her dress and letting the straps fall to her shoulders. One hand was struggling to unhook her bra while the other was moving down, down, down her back. It didn't sound like the first time he'd told Payson's sister he loved her. Becca didn't even look fazed.

Payson couldn't watch anymore. It was wrong. The whole thing was wrong. This was her little sister! Little Becca, who never did anything without thinking over every single detail, weighing the good and bad, always so concerned with hurting people's feelings and upsetting her acquaintances, was about to make the biggest mistake of her life and hurt one of Payson's best friends at the same time. Rage was boiling over in her stomach. Austin apparently felt the same way, because he screamed, _"Hey!"_ the same time she yelled _"Stop!"_

They jumped apart, Max buttoning his shirt the same time Becca tried desperately to fix her hair and zip her dress at the same time. "What," Austin started slowly, "ARE YOU DOING?"

"I think it's pretty clear what they were _doing, _Austin," Payson exclaimed, disdain dripping off of her words like venom. "The question is," she said, her voice getting louder with every word, "_what the hell were you thinking?" _Tears were welling up in her eyes. Kaylie put a hand on her shoulder. "Did you know, _Max, _that Lauren found the ring?"

Max's jaw dropped. Becca looked confused. "What ring?" she asked.

Payson ignored her. "She found it in your pocket," she told Max. She walked over to where his jacket was discarded on the floor and put her hand in the single pouch, and found a Tiffany box. She shook her head and pulled it out, waving it in his face. "She was so excited, Max! She thought you were going to propose to her, you know, because you _already told her you loved her," _Payson watched Becca's eyes go wide, "and when she told me this, not twenty minutes ago, I believed her. I never imagined," she continued, "that what Lauren described as a diamond the size of her fist would end up on my little sister's finger instead of hers." Max's eyes fell to the floor. Payson's eyes were wet as she yelled, _"My freaking little sister, _Max! So, first you told _me_ you loved me, which was a big mistake since I happen to be interested in someone else, and then there was Lauren, who actually does love you, and now there's Becca? You told three girls you loved them in the matter of two months? That's one every twenty days!" She tossed the Tiffany box in the air and Austin reached out and caught it. "Okay, so you thought were willing to spend the rest of your life with one of them, at least there's that, but if you were so quick to sleep with Becca without breaking up with Lauren, I wonder how far into the marriage Becca would come home early from work and find you in bed with another woman."

"Hey!" Becca cried. "It's not just his fault!"

"You're right," Payson said, "but I'm going to let Mom deal with you." Becca was quiet. "Max," she started again, "I am so glad that I dumped you." He flinched, visibly. "I could be Lauren right now! I could have been sent down to find my little sister by my mother, and find her half naked, kissing my boyfriend! But instead I find her kissing my best friend's boyfriend, which to me is practically the same thing. Becca, you are forfeiting the election, we are going home, and you are going to tell Mom what happened, or I will, and believe me," Becca winced at the malice in her sister's voice, "my version will be much, much worse." Payson spun on her heel and left, dragging her sister along by the arm. Becca shared one last apologetic look with Max, and Kaylie saw her mouth "Yes."

Max was alone with Kaylie and Austin. Austin pocketed the ring, walked towards his former best friend, and punched him in the face. Max covered his features with his hand, and walked blindly up the stairs, away from them. Kaylie looked at Austin, and whispered, "Are you okay?"

"No," he answered, turning to face her, walking towards her. He took the Tiffany box out of his pocket and opened it, looking at the ring. It wasn't as big as Lauren had said, but it was very beautiful. Austin couldn't help thinking, though that it wasn't suited for Becca at all. He looked back up at Kaylie, his girlfriend. "No, I'm not okay," he said again, "not unless you want to marry me, that is." Kaylie's eyes went wide, as big as golf balls. She smiled, threw her head back and laughed. Austin held the ring up. "Want it?" he asked.

"Yeah!" she answered, laughing. He tossed it to her, smiling. She put it on her finger, and he swept her up and held her bridal style, spinning around and around.

"I love you, Kaylie," he whispered.

"I love you too," she answered, "and I'll be happen to marry you."

"If you marry me, I'll be happy for the rest of my life," Austin said. He leaned down and kissed her.


	14. Phone Calls and Waiting Rooms

**AN: Sorry about the confusion in the last update. I'll try to clear things up in this one. I think that was the most reviews I've gotten in one chapter! Thank you guys so much! I love constructive criticism! **

Payson was up all night worrying. Not just about Becca, but about the 2:00 appointment she had with Sasha and Dr. Fields the next day. What had she been thinking? She didn't need a _therapist, _and neither did Sasha! Maybe she should just cancel. It was stupid. The whole thing was completely idiotic, and she didn't need anything else to worry about. With the Olympics, and Max cheating on Lauren with Becca, and the whole situation with Sasha and whether or not to put their relationship on hold until after the Olympics, she didn't want her parents finding out she was going to a _psychiatrist _and assuming she needed some sort of mental _help_. Payson could take care of herself. She always had, and she was very good about containing her emotions and making sure they didn't mess with her game. A therapist would read too much into that, and make her find other hobbies or some other such nonsense like Kaylie's therapist had. She should call Kaylie, she thought. Kaylie would reassure her, after all, she was the one who had encouraged the idea in the first place, and she would convince Payson that the visit would go well.

What if Dr. Fields assumed that Sasha was raping her and called the police?

What if Dr. Fields assumed she had some sort of mental disease and wrote her some sort of prescription?

What if Dr. Fields made her quit gymnastics?

That's it, she decided, no more. She was not the type to go into something blind. She'd have to call Kaylie and get some information. She went to her computer and picked up the phone. Okay, so it was four in the morning, but Kaylie would probably answer. She was dependable. But what if she was bothering her? What if the phone woke her up and she didn't want to talk? What if she was in a bad mood?

Payson was frustrated with herself. When did she become so indecisive? She would call Kaylie, and that would be the end of it. She picked up her cell phone and dialed before she changed her mind. "Hello?" Kaylie answered, sounding incredibly cheerful.

"Hey," Payson said, relieved, "I'm surprised you answered."

"Oh, I haven't really been sleeping," Kaylie said, giggling a little. "And I'm actually really glad you called, Pay. I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" Payson asked, suddenly a little tired.

"After you went off with Becca, Austin took the ring that Max was going to give to her and he asked me if I would marry him, and I said yes!" Suddenly, all Payson's senses were on high alert. She struggled with what to say to Kaylie, and what she was feeling herself.

"Wow, congratulations," she stuttered. _Oh my gosh, _she thought. _What is with all the marriage proposals? First Max was going to propose to Becca, now Kaylie and Austin are engaged? We're only seventeen! _But then she thought a little more. Austin had seen that Kaylie needed help before anyone else had. He supported her, pushed her, told her he loved her right in front of her father, which was extremely brave given Alex Cruz's dislike for boys, and he asked her to be his girlfriend in front of hundreds of reporters. Payson knew that each would be lost without the other. Kaylie wouldn't win the Olympics without Austin, and Austin wouldn't continue to be successful without Kaylie. They interacted so well, neither had ever hurt or cheated or lied to the other, and their relationship was very healthy. All things considered, she was very happy that the ring had ended up on Kaylie's finger and not Payson's fifteen year old little sister. "That's wonderful, Kaylie, I am so happy for you!" She didn't have to try to make her voice sound enthusiastic like she usually did. She was genuinely excited.

"Thanks," Kaylie replied. Payson could picture the big smile on her friend's face, even though she couldn't physically see her. "We're not going to get married until after the Olympics, so don't worry about that like I know you will. I'm wearing the ring on a chain around my neck. It's gorgeous, and you would think it would bother me that it was meant for someone else, but it doesn't! It's so strange, it's like suddenly I'm not so finicky, and I don't care about tiny little details. I'm just so happy that I _am _engaged, that I _am _going to spend the rest of my life with Austin, that I don't even mind that he proposed in a basement after we just witnessed Max cheating on my best friend with my other best friend's little sister. I don't even care that Max was going to propose to Becca with my ring! I don't know how to explain it without it sounding weird!" she laughed.

"It doesn't sound strange," Payson assured her. "And it's good that you aren't so wrapped up in how he did it. The only thing that should be important to you is that you're marrying Austin."

"I know you don't approve…"

"I don't approve in children getting married, but you're only engaged. You're actually having the wedding when you're of age, and that's fine with me. Besides, it's not like you'd need my permission anyway. I'm happy for you."

"And I'm happy for you, with Sasha," Kaylie said.

"Yeah, about me and Sasha…I'm having second thoughts about this whole therapist thing. I don't know what I was thinking, this is so unlike me. I don't need my head shrunk. I need Sasha, and I know that, so why did I want to do this?" Payson leaned her head on her hand.

"You wanted to do it because you thought it would help you get some perspective and sort the whole thing out. I don't think it was unlike you. When you see a problem you fix it, and you thought this would help you fix it."

"But I don't usually need help, at all! And this is a type of help that I never in a million years wanted, ever! So why did I suddenly think it was a good idea?"

"Because it was a good idea," Kaylie answered, "and I think you should do it."

"But what if he puts me on medication? I can't have that interfering with my gymnastics."

"He won't put you on pills, Pay," Kaylie laughed. "He'll just listen to you, and tell you what he thinks."

"What if he calls the police?" Payson wondered, sounding a little unsure.

"Why would he?" Kaylie countered.

"Maybe he'll think we're doing something illegal. Maybe he'll be extremely conservative and think we're doing something incredibly wrong."

"No, he won't. I promise."

"But how do you know?" Payson asked.

"I just do. Look, what do you want me to say? You obviously aren't going to listen to me if I tell you you're wrong to be worried."

"I want you to tell me what I'm up against. Give me some inside information."

"You're not up against anything, Pay. They honestly want to help you."

"That's exactly why I don't know what I was thinking! I don't need any help, so why am I wasting my money and time? Sasha and I can figure this out ourselves, and we don't need a stranger judging us while we do it."

Kaylie sighed. "Look, it's too late to cancel. What do you want me to tell you about it? I'll try my best to reassure you that there is nothing to be concerned about." Payson put the phone on speaker and rested her hands on the keys at the computer. She opened a blank document and started to type.

**Therapist Information and Guidelines**

**By Payson Keeler, as told by Kaylie Cruz**

"Tell me what you do once you walk in," Payson said.

"There really isn't that much to tell you, Pay, but I'll try. You walk in and sit down…."

"What do you sit down on?" she asked.

Kaylie lifted the phone off her ear and stared at it, wondering if she heard correctly. "You can't be serious," she told her. "What do you think you sit down on, a yoga mat?" Payson was quiet. Kaylie sighed. "A couch or an armchair, you sit down on a couch or an armchair."

"So I don't have to lie down?"

"No. That's just a stereotype." Payson typed as Kaylie spoke. "At my therapist's office, there are two doors and you can't close the second one from the outside. It's for privacy, so you don't have to worry about anyone overhearing anything."

**-Walk in, sit down on couch or armchair, (no lying down, that's just a stereotype.)**

**-Two doors, one you can't close from outside, privacy.**

"Then you just talk for a while. If you get overly hysterical he'll keep you longer, but if you aren't he'll just tell you that your time is up. Then you walk out," Kaylie said, and while Payson listened she typed.

**-Don't get hysterical or else he'll keep you longer, and be polite when he says your time is up and shake his hand.**

"I need to plan what to say to him," she told Kaylie. "I don't want any surprises. I want to know exactly what I'm going to tell him and in what tone of voice." She heard Kaylie's laugh and her eyebrows rose. "This is serious, Kaylie! I understand you are happy about being a bride-to-be but I'm trying to make sure everything goes smoothly so no one gets their career ruined, no one gets arrested, and everyone's reputation stays intact. Tell me more. How do you usually open the meeting?"

"Yeah, I get it, sorry. Um, I don't know. 'It's really hot out today' usually works. Or sometimes I told him about the song recording or Emily. Some of the time we talked about gymnastics, but my recovery was so focused on finding other purposes, so mostly we just talked about me and what I liked to do while I couldn't train."

"Okay, but I'm meeting this guy for the first time. Do I comment on a painting or a book I see in his office? Do I compliment his tie?"

"You can."

**-Open with remark about the weather or compliment on inanimate object in office and question about it. Tie compliments are also options. **

*****Example: "Is that a picture of your children? The girl looks just like you!" But be less annoying when you say it. Be aloof. No personal attachments can be made for you can only afford one visit, two if you sell your CD player. **

"Next I state my purpose, correct?" Payson asked.

"Okay. Are you going to let Sasha say anything?" Kaylie teased, amused.

"I'll hand him this piece of paper beforehand. We can alternate," Payson answered.

"Pay, I was joking."

"Oh, well, what else?" she inquired.

"You could start by saying that you were indecisive about coming, and that you hope that Dr. Fields can be open-minded and fair."

"So tell him the guidelines that I would like him to abide by."

"Okay, let's call it that," Kaylie conceded. Payson typed.

**-State purpose. Tell Dr. Fields that you and Sasha have developed a relationship beyond training, and that you have come to a point where you are at odds about what to do next.**

**-Inform him that you want no prejudice against you, that even if he is not liberal you expect him to respect and not judge your opinions and situation. **

**-Remember, be nice, even if you immediately hate him and he appears to be a snob. If you like him, then that's fine, but be wary. Don't make any connections.**

"Payson, are you sure about the connections thing? If you really like him and want to go back, then I'm sure your parents would be fine with paying…"

"No. Money is tight, Kaylie, you know that. They could barely pay the mortgage this month because all my endorsement money is going to my college fund now that my scholarship eligibility is no more."

"All of it? There's nothing to spare?"

"Well…" Payson paused. "Maybe a little, but that's going towards groceries and new clothes and Becca's college fund. There's a million ways to spend money. If only we could find another company to sponsor me, or if Healthy Bar made a new product that they wanted me for."

"They haven't contacted you since you did the ad?" Kaylie asked.

"Once, they thanked me and told me that they would call me again if something else came up. They said there was possibility for a Grrrrrl Bar commercial, but it was still being decided based on sales and profits."

"That's so great, Payson! I'm happy for you!" Kaylie exclaimed. "Listen; there is one more thing you should know." Payson's hands immediately flexed on the keys and were ready to type what Kaylie was going to tell her. "Watch his facial expressions. Once I mentioned his wife and he looked as if he was about to be sick, so I dropped it. Later I found out she died a month ago in a fire. If you want him to like you and not judge you, you have to be aware of how he feels about what you say."

"Thanks, Kay," Payson said, "that's really helpful."

**-Be sure to watch his reactions to the things you say. If his facial expression suggests he disapproves, unless it is a vital piece of information drop the subject and move on to something else. If Dr. Fields likes you there's a more likely chance he'll give you an honest, unbiased, and professional answer. **

"One more question," Payson added. "Should Sasha and I hold hands? We don't want to seem like we can't keep away or anything, but we don't want to be so hesitant that he thinks we're unsure of our feelings or…something."

Kaylie thought for a moment. "Not right away, I don't think, wait until the appointment is maybe half over, after you've really explained that your relationship is healthy and legal. If you're not holding hands and he mentions Sasha's authority over you in the gym, you take his hand to show that you're in control."

"Good idea," Payson answered. She typed.

**-Don't hold hands until the appointment is at least half over. If he mentions Sasha's authority over you at The Rock take his hand to show you have control to, that he isn't forcing you to do anything you don't want to. It looks more powerful if your posture is good, so keep your back straight!**

"One more question," Payson told her. "How do I close?"

"Usually _he_ does, and since the reason you're going is to hear his opinion, you should get all the important stuff out first then save the trivial stuff for last, so he can stop you and tell you what he thinks maybe five minutes before it's over without you feeling like you left something out."

**-Let him end. Tell him all the most important things first so you can save the minor stuff for last, and he can stop you and tell you his opinion without you feeling you left something out.**

"Payson, can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Sure," Payson answered.

"Have you…talked to Becca or Lauren or…your mom about the Awards last night?"

Payson's fists clenched when she pictured leaning over the banister to see her sister kissing Lauren's boyfriend, knowing that the ring in Max's pocket wasn't meant for Lauren after all, but for Becca. Her fifteen year old sister could've been engaged by now and no one would have known. Payson was glad she had caught them before Becca got hurt. She would have been engaged to a boy who was still dating someone else. Payson wondered if Max would've even broke up with Lauren after he proposed to Becca.

After Payson had dragged her sister upstairs, the Awards had started back up again. Sasha was about to announce Most Popular when Payson and Becca went back to their table. Kim had leaned over and whispered to Payson, "Are you alright?"

Payson looked at her mother, whose eyebrows were creased with concerned, and her grip on Becca's arm tightened. Her mother didn't deserve what she was going to tell her, so she wouldn't tell her then, when she was in such a state of worry over Mark finding another job in Minnesota and the endorsement money and paying the bills. Becca would have to do it, and do it soon before Max told somebody and the word spread. "No," she answered honestly, "but Becca will tell you later. Now we have to watch the show." Sasha's eyes met with hers across the gym. He narrowed his eyes, and looked a little worried, before he turned his attention back to the microphone.

"The 20ll Most Popular is…" Payson had crossed her fingers, hoping that it would be Lauren, so she could be happy a little while longer, "…Lauren Tanner!" his voice boomed, although he looked a little unhappy to be there at all. Payson clapped, giving Lauren a standing ovation as her friend strutted up to the microphone and took the trophy.

"Wow, two years in a row!" she said, putting her hand on her hip and smiling wide. "I can't believe I'm the Most Popular girl at The Rock for _two whole years! _Well, first and foremost, I want to thank my wonderful father for giving me my party and my Corvette, and of course I offer my condolences to Becca Keeler, who is _not _Most Popular after all!" Becca's eyes narrowed at the girl who was about to get her heart broken because of her. "Also, I want to thank Max, who has been a _big help _in boosting my self confidence." She winked at her cheating boyfriend, who smiled sheepishly back. "Of course I want to thank everyone who voted for me, because they are so smart and they made such a good choice! Also, there's Summer, Kaylie, Sasha, Payson…" Payson looked up at her name, "and Kelly, and…"

"Okay, Lauren!" Sasha had interrupted, taking the microphone from her. "We understand, thank you."

Payson zoned out for the rest of the Awards, except to take her napkin and the pen she borrowed from her mother and scribble a note to Becca on it. "_You deserve it", _it said, along with, "_You're not telling Mom tonight, but by Monday she better know." _

Then, at the phone with Kaylie, Payson sighed. "No, but we need to talk to Lauren."

"About more than one thing," Kaylie agreed. "You're the first person I've told about the engagement."

"Your parents don't know?" Payson asked.

"You're kidding, right? My dad isn't going to know until after the Olympics, at least. He freaks out whenever a boy _talks_ to me, let alone asks me to _marry_ him, can you imagine?" she laughed. "As for my mom, I at least have to be eighteen. She wouldn't be very happy otherwise."

Payson nodded, and then remembered Kaylie couldn't see her. "Are you going to tell Kelly too?" she asked.

"I want to make her feel as included as possible," Kaylie answered, "so yes, but not at the same time as Lo. I feel like we judged her way too quickly without finding out anything about her. Did you know her mom didn't let her have _friends_?"

"No, I didn't," Payson replied. "That's too bad. At least she has us now, although I wonder how her mother feels about us."

"She probably hates me even more, but oh well," Kaylie said with a small smile to herself. "Listen, I have to go, I think my mom knows I'm up, but good luck, and I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Yeah, I hope so, Kay," Payson said. "Thanks for everything."

"Any time," Kaylie replied. "See you."

"See you," Payson said back.

That afternoon, alone in the waiting room at the psychiatrist's office, Sasha checked his watch. Dr. Fields would be in for them in five minutes, and Payson wasn't there yet. He picked up his phone to call her, when she raced in, looking a little breathless. "I'm sorry, sorry," she said, sitting down beside him, handing him a sheet of paper. "The printer was all out of ink, and then I pressed something and the power went out, and Becca was screaming and I had to calm her down so I had to find the flashlight and then by the time I got out of the house I realized I was almost out of gas so I had to stop and get some and traffic was horrible, and then the CD player just started playing my mom's Madonna album without me doing anything, which is normally fine but I couldn't get it off so I listened to 'Papa Don't Preach' like seven times and I got so frustrated with the thing that I tried to take the CD out and almost ran a stop sign, so I had to pull over and calm down and scold myself before I could come here, and then the elevator didn't come for like, five minutes when I realized I forgot to press the button, so I did, and then I realized I didn't know what floor so…" Sasha laughed, and rested a hand on her arm. "What?" she asked, giving him such a hopeless look it made him want to hug her.

"Breathe," he reminded her.

"Oh, oh yeah," she told him, laughing a little. "In, out, okay," she said, "Sorry," she said again.

"It's fine. He hasn't come out yet," Sasha told her. He looked at her a moment. Her hair was let be, loose down her back, and she was wearing a blue button down and jeans. He always thought she was beautiful, but today he took a closer look. Her eyes were incredibly blue, and her hair looked great even in the horrible hospital lighting. She saw him looking at her.

"Do I have something on my face? Oh, gosh, I hope I don't have anything on my clothes, I spent forever trying to figure out what to wear to this thing." While she checked over herself Sasha looked over the paper.

"Payson, you wrote _instructions?" _

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep, so maybe around four I called Kaylie and got some information."

"You wrote instructions," Sasha said again, "at four in the morning."

"Yeah," she said, "I wanted to be prepared."

Sasha shook his head, stroking her arm a bit with his thumb. "You astonish me more every day, Payson Keeler." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I love you," he whispered in her ear. He saw her smile from the corner of his eye. They separated when they heard the door to the waiting room open. Dr. Fields, an older man, maybe in his seventies, stuck out his head and looked around the waiting room.

"Payson Keeler and Sasha Belov?" he asked, peering at them through yellow framed glasses.

"Yes," Payson answered, standing up to shake his hand. Sasha stood up behind her and leaned in to shake his hand as well.

He smiled. "Good. Follow me into my office."


	15. Decisions

**AN: I don't think that last chapter was as good as it could have been. I've been so focused on making the updates long enough; I haven't stopped to think about the quality of the writing. I don't wonder about who will like this or who will read this as much as I should, and I lose sight of the characters. Payson falling in love with Sasha is kind of out of character in itself and I can't screw up her character even more by having her pour her heart out to a therapist. That's why I made her skeptical in the last chapter, but by doing so I made her second guess her decisions, which she never does. That's why I appreciate your reviews so much, because it helps put me back on track and makes me really zero in on what is wrong with the writing. So thank you LauraW89 and megan for always telling me what they liked and didn't like. Wow, I'm rambling…167 words and counting of just me and my annoying authors notes! Okay, let's get started.**

Sasha rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly. Payson gripped the paper in her hand so hard it ripped. Dr. Fields looked at them expectantly. Clearly he was waiting for one of them to say something. The first five minutes of the appointment had passed and none of them had uttered a single word. Both Payson and Sasha were at a loss. Neither of them had ever been in a situation like this, except for that one time when Sasha went in to see Kaylie's therapist about her training, which had not ended well. He didn't know what to say or what he should do differently than last time so he didn't end up storming out angrily. Payson was irritated. Hadn't she planned for this? Wasn't she supposed to compliment his tie or something? But that seemed so stupid, she thought. This man was not what she had been expecting. His office was plain, with not a picture or a knick knack in sight. The closest things to anything remotely personal were the degrees that hung on his wall. The beige recliner he sat in across from them looked worn, on the table at his right sat a bottle of herbal tea and a 1978 issue of National Geographic. The books on his shelf were simply devoted to psychology and one picture book Payson thought she recognized but wasn't completely sure. What was there to compliment? There was no ice breaker in the book she could use on this man. He wasn't even wearing a tie.

"So," Dr. Fields said, clearing his throat. "Coach Belov, on the phone you told me there was something you and Payson wanted to talk to me about." Neither of them answered. He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands on his chest. "I don't like to pry. I don't generally talk much during these appointments. The people I listen to are paying me to talk, and I'm supposed to be attentive and try to create theories that may help you based on what you tell me about your life. However," he peered at them and squinted, "neither of you seem willing to give me anything to work with so I suppose if I want any responses I have to ask questions. Payson, you are a gymnast and Sasha is your coach. Is what you came to tell me relevant to gymnastics?" He was answered with silence. He sighed. "Does it have to do with something beyond gymnastics? Are you nervous about the Olympics? Hurt? Injured? Does Payson know why she's here, Sasha, or did you call me because you feel she's in danger?" Payson's eyes went straight to the floor. Sasha shook his head slowly but said nothing. Dr. Fields sent up a silent prayer. _Lord, please help me. _"You do realize that if you don't say anything I can assume whatever I want about you?" Payson met his eyes. Dr. Fields smiled to himself. He had struck a chord inside her. Her back went straight. She leaned in to stare at him, her eyes very intimidating.

"I don't want," she started, the sudden change in the atmosphere and the sharp tone of her voice ringing in Sasha's ears, "any prejudice," she finished and commanded, her right to be heard assertive and firm. The doctor was surprised that a girl who was so small could have such a presence when she spoke. He saw in the corner of his eye Sasha's lips quirking into a smile. Payson's eyebrows went straight up. "Do you find me _funny, _Sasha?" she demanded, sounding enraged.

"Among other things," he answered, looking up to meet her menacing stare. She gave him quite the look. Dr. Fields laughed.

"What did I _say?" _Payson exclaimed, frustrated. "I just told him I didn't want him to judge us. You don't want that either, so why are you _laughing?" _

"I'm sorry, Payson, it's just that you astonish me more every day. You spent all that time on this sheet," he said, waving it in the air, "and then you skip the first two steps no questions asked. What happened to complimenting his tie and stating our purpose before scaring him with that very daunting," she gave him another look, "but very lovely voice of yours?" She softened ever so slightly. Sasha looked amused. "Anyway, we're sorry for not saying much, Dr. Fields, but it's hard to know where to begin, even though Payson spent an infinite amount of time preparing…"

"What is it you don't want me to judge?" Dr. Fields asked.

Payson glared. "I thought you said you didn't ask very many questions."

"The minutes are ticking by, Ms. Keeler," he answered. "We don't have time to dilly dally."

"Fine then," she said. She decided to delve into her speech. "Sasha and I have developed a relationship beyond our careers." She thought using the word "careers" would make her look less juvenile. "We are both equally respectful of one another, and no pressure has been put on either of us to do anything we don't feel comfortable with. He has not led me on, and I have been the one that has been insistent we do something about these feelings that we have both confessed to."

"You can stop being so formal, Ms. Keeler," Dr. Fields said. "I am not your father."

Payson cocked her head. "Formal?" she asked.

Sasha cut in before an argument developed. "I am in love with Payson, and she is in love with me." Dr. Fields blinked and rubbed the back of his neck. All thoughts of Payson's formality were forgotten. "Age is not an issue with us. I struggled with my conscience for a while, and I even left the sport for a period of time because I didn't want to hurt Payson and her teammates or their careers. This was a mistake. Payson and I are better together than we are apart. She is seventeen, but her personality is so kind and intelligent much beyond her years. She is only being so aloof today because she doesn't want to form any bonds and she is trying to keep this strictly professional, right?" She nodded. "Anyway, we can only afford to see you once, so I will be concise. The Olympics are not far off, only a year away. There was one instance before I went away when Payson kissed me, but we have not had any physical…exchanges since then. We are trying to decide whether or not we should put our relationship on hold until after the Olympics. Not doing so would put our reputations and careers at risk. The last thing I want is for her to have any difficulties in her life because of me." Dr. Fields nodded, as though he approved of this.

Then Payson started speaking. "I feel the same. I don't want Sasha to have any issues with his job or with his life because of my feelings for him, but I think that if we had to wait a year, it would not only be incredibly difficult to stay away from him but it would also affect my gymnastics and my general well being. Sasha makes me a better person. When I'm not around him he's all I can think about. Yes, just being his friend is enough for me. I just want to be near him, but at the same time I don't think denying that we are in love with do us any good. In a year that we are not together we could easily forget what we have. I lied to a boy and told him I loved him because I wished I could have that close a relationship with Sasha so much. I then ended up hurting him, which I never intended to do."

Dr. Fields interrupted. "So you've thought you were in love before, and you ended up getting hurt?"

"No! I knew I wasn't in love with him, but I was in denial because I wanted Sasha so much but refused to admit it to anybody. I am not the kind of person to get loopy over a boy, I have been strictly focused on gymnastics all my life and I never broke any rules or put my career at risk. Being with Sasha would do that. That's why we've been very careful to really think our relationship over. But like Sasha said, we're better together than we are apart, and if it's my gymnastics I'm so worried about, then why don't I think about it from the opposite point of view? If I'm not with Sasha, my sport is in just as much risk as if I _am_ with him. I do badly when I'm upset or in a lot of pain, and the Olympics Trials are right around the corner. I can't be hurt right now, and I need Sasha's love and support or else I know I'll fail."

"I overheard Payson telling her friend how she feels about me," Sasha told Dr. Fields. "I didn't mean to, but once I heard my name I couldn't stop listening. She compared her feelings to a Beatles song my father and I admired, which really struck a chord in me." The doctor lit up in his recliner.

"I love The Beatles," he said. "My brother and I once took a road trip the same time they were on tour in America, and we went to all their concerts." Payson cursed under her breath. Dr. Fields was in that age group where he would've been around when The Beatles were all the rage. Why hadn't she thought to bring that up? She thanked God Sasha was so attentive. It was him who really needed to impress Dr. Fields, no her, she reminded herself. He was the one that really needed to convince the doctor that he was honestly in love with Payson. Let him have _In my Life, _she would think of something else.

Sasha smiled. "Is that so?" he asked, winking at Payson. She smiled and looked at her lap. The doctor watched them closely. "Well anyway, I don't care how cliché it may sound, but our love is real. Some people may think our relationship is wrong, and if I weren't in the position I am I would say the same. But I'm not raping her, Dr. Fields. I'm not pressuring her. I'm in love with her."

"A lot of my friends have been…" Payson glanced at Sasha, "…serious about their boyfriends lately including my own sister."

"_Becca _has a boyfriend?" Sasha exclaimed. Payson put a hand on his arm.

"I know, I'm mad at her too, for more than one reason, but she isn't elite, Sasha. She may be one day, but for now I don't see why…"

"Ms. Keeler," Dr. Fields said, "what were you saying about your friends?"

"Right, sorry," she replied. "One of my friends is pregnant, and she and the father are getting married." Dr. Fields' lips pursed. "They aren't getting married because of the baby, Miranda. They're getting married because they're in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Another two of my friends are engaged as well, although the girl isn't pregnant in this case." Sasha looked at her curiously, wondering who else in his gym had been breaking the rules. Again, he felt hypocritical, but Payson and he weren't casually dating. Although, he reasoned with himself, if Payson's other friend was engaged she couldn't be casually dating either. "I want to spend the rest of my life with Sasha," she continued, "but I'm not ready to get married yet. I'm seventeen. For me personally and the life I want to have, it's ridiculous, at least for now. I have to have finished college before I even start to think about marrying Sasha."

"But you do want to marry Sasha eventually?" Dr. Fields asked.

"Yes. I realize that's not something you say lightly. I am well aware of that, but I am being completely serious about it," she answered.

"What about you, Sasha? Do you feel the same way?"

"Of course I want to marry her, and I'd be happy to wait until she finishes school. I'd marry her anytime," he responded.

"He gave me this," Payson said, holding up her right hand to show Dr. Fields the silver band around her finger. "He told me that we'd manage, that although it would be difficult we would figure something out, and that no matter what happened he would love me and I him. This ring is a symbol of that." She twisted it around her finger again and again. "It was one of the best moments of my life."

"Te voi iubi mereu, indiferent de ce," Sasha said, his accent suddenly becoming much more thick. Payson smiled. She loved it when he spoke in his first language. It made her feel closer to him.

"Mereu indiferent de ce," she answered back to him.

"What language is that?" Dr. Fields asked, bemused.

"Romanian," Sasha answered. "I grew up in Romania, and I've been teaching Payson some phrases."

"Numele meu este Payson Keeler şi-mi place să mănânc!" Payson exclaimed, showing off her skills.

Sasha was amused. "Payson, do you know what you just said?"

"My name is Payson Keeler and I love to eat," she responded, looking very pleased with herself.

"Oh, I thought that was a mistake," Sasha said, smiling. She glared.

"No. It's not a crime to love eating, Sasha, particularly when you barely ever get to have the things you want to eat," Payson answered. Sasha held up his hand in surrender.

Dr. Fields interrupted their conversation. "I'm going to have to stop us." The atmosphere instantly changed. Sasha's expression grew earnest. Payson reached out and took his hand, not to show she had authority, but because she wanted to feel his skin against hers. "You want my opinion about whether or not you should put your relationship aside until after the Olympics, correct?"

"Yes," Payson answered.

"Well, so long as you refrain from anything sexual until after Ms. Keeler turns eighteen, I don't see why you can't be together, if Sasha is not biased when training at your gym."

"He's not," Payson assured him.

"Of course, it is, in the end, your decision," Dr. Fields told them. "But if you want my professional opinion, I would tell Payson's parents. You can withhold from telling others, but if you don't want any problems within the family, I would let Mr. and Mrs. Keeler know what is going on."Payson winced at the thought of telling her parents she was in an inappropriate relationship with her coach, but she smiled, nodded, and leaned in to shake his hand. Sasha did the same, and they both paid their share of the money owed to him. He waved them off. "It was my pleasure meeting with you. And Sasha," he called out to Sasha, who turned to hear what he had to say, "la revedere!"

Sasha smiled and held his hand up in farewell. When they were alone in the hallway, Payson looked up at Sasha and whispered, "So…?"

"So…?" he repeated, smiling back at her.

"You know, if the _doctor _tells us that we should be together, well, he _is_ a medical professional, so I say it wouldn't be sensible for us to wait until after 2012," Payson said in a mock serious tone. Sasha grinned and rested his hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go," he said, leaning in and kissing her once, lightly, on the lips. Payson's mind whirred and buzzed, and every sense was enhanced. She felt electric, and very happy, like as long as Sasha was there she would never be sad again.

"So," he said, "you want to marry me, huh?" She whacked him on the chest. He laughed. "Seriously, though, who is getting married?"

Payson hesitated. "You swear you won't get mad at them?"

"Payson, they're engaged, why would I be angry?"

She took a breath. "Kaylie and Austin," she told him.

"Wow." Sasha's eyes went as wide as golf balls.

"There's one more thing, too," Payson said. "Max was cheating on Lauren with Becca and he was going to propose to her but Lauren found the ring and thought it was for her and at the Rocky Awards Kaylie, Austin, and I found Becca and Max together in the basement and I told Becca she had to tell Mom or else I would and by the time I get home my mom might know and it might be really tense so before I leave…" she paused, "would you mind kissing me again? I want to be happy for just a little while longer."

"Well, before I ask you millions of questions about how Max could be so stupid and Becca so idiotic and Lauren so clueless…" Sasha paused, "I never mind kissing you." So he did.


	16. Explanations

**AN: Thank you LauraW89! I'll try to keep writing like I did in Chapter Fifteen. I know that a lot of you didn't care for Chapter Thirteen, but I can't just leave the whole Becca/Max/Lauren thing alone. I have to tie up the loose ends in this chapter, but I can let it go after this if it doesn't work out.**

Payson pulled up the driveway, and immediately it started to rain. She thought that was a likely omen for what would happen when she turned the key and opened the door. Closing her eyes a moment, she inhaled and held the breath for a moment before exhaling and turning the car off. Her hands shook as the she got out of the car and entered her house. Becca and Kim were sitting on the couch together, and Mark, having returned from the airport minutes earlier, was on the phone in the kitchen. Payson heard snippets of the conversation he was having with the unidentifiable person on the other line. "No…no that's not what I said…calm down…listen….listen to me!" he barked. Becca sobbed on the couch. Kim smoothed the hair away from her youngest daughter's face. "You're being ridiculous….she's a fifteen year old child!" Mark sighed. "Yes, of course we're upset, but when you're young…she _is_ responsible, this isn't her fault…I know how to raise my own daughter! You are not blaming this on Kim…I thought you had a great relationship with her! She loves you…yes, we are upset, and this will be dealt with, but one dose of petty gossip isn't going to ruin her…please, this is a very sensitive time for our family! Don't say that!"

"Mom…who is Dad talking to?" Payson asked. Becca jumped up and frantically tried to hide the fact that she was crying.

"Oh, Payson, hi," Kim said. "I didn't expect you home so early from the movie. How was it?" Payson just stared. Her mother sighed. "Listen, I have been meaning to talk to you. Something has come up, and I don't know if you've heard already from Lauren or someone else…"

"Wait," she interrupted. "Did you just say Lauren?" Becca gave her an apologetic look. "You told _Lauren_ about you and Max without talking to me first?_" _Payson exclaimed, turning her attention toward her sister, who was squeezing her mother's hand so hard it looked painful.

"It felt like the right thing to do!" Becca cried, voice high and squeaky like she'd sucked on helium, tears rapidly streaming down her face. "I explained everything that happened, and I apologized for everything I did to make her angry with me." This didn't make much sense to Payson at first, but the seriousness of the situation kept her from asking. Lauren was a force to be reckoned with. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! She and Kaylie were supposed to explain before Becca had a chance to so Lauren wouldn't rip her eyeballs out...

She closed her eyes, her response lingering on her tongue. "What did she do, Becca? What did she say?"

"She hung up," Becca sniffled.

Payson bit back a scream. "You told her..." she started softly, "..._over the phone?" _

"I was too scared to go to her house, and I only have my permit so I couldn't drive anyway…"

"Let me get this straight," the elder sister rationalized, "you cheated with my best friend's boyfriend, to the point that Max was actually going to propose to you without ever breaking up with Lauren first, and then only after I catch you in the basement with him and threaten to tell our parents do you apologize to her, but you do it over the phone instead of going to her house because you're afraid of her reaction?"

"_Payson_," Becca hissed, "I didn't exactly tell Mom and Dad _everything_." Only then did Payson notice that her mother's eyes were wide, her hands separated from Becca's and placed over her mouth. Mark had hung up the phone and was sitting on the couch, his face twisted and red.

"Rebecca Keeler," he said to her, his tone menacing and dangerous. Payson realized then where she got the ability to talk that way. "Do you mean to tell us that Lauren's rumors were true? You did actually have a relationship with…" he grimaced, "…_that boy _while she was still with him? It wasn't all a lie Lauren spread to get attention?"

Payson was horrified. "You told them it was a rumor?" she asked her sister. "You told them it wasn't_ true_? You made Lauren the bad guy when you were the one about to _sleep with_ her boyfriend?"

"Wait, girls, I'm confused," Kim squeaked. "Slow down."

"Rebecca, explain yourself," Mark ordered.

Becca slumped back on the couch in defeat. She tossed her hair over her shoulder defiantly and abstained from meeting her father's eye. Instead she kept her gaze firmly centered on the fascinating view of a dumpster in the neighbor's yard out the window. "Well," she started, her voice already sounding defensive. "Max was seeing Lauren, and one day at practice I tripped over his foot and dropped my gym bag, and all my stuff fell out. He helped me pick everything up," she blushed, "and…we got to talking and that eventually led to dating…"

"Secretly," Payson interrupted, "without telling Mom and Dad where you were or what you were doing."

Becca glared. "We weren't doing anything dangerous. Basically all we did was sit on his couch and watch movies. Sometimes he _took _me to a movie. Sometimes he helped me train at the gym when Sasha was too focused on Payson to give anybody else any of his attention." Payson rolled her eyes at this. "I didn't want Max to cheat on Lauren, but he repeatedly told me that things weren't working with her. I wasn't convinced, so all we did was hang out. I'm not an idiot." She seemed to say that directly to her sister, as though to convince her that it was true. Payson only half believed her. "Then he told me he was bi. He told me that one of the big reasons his relationship with Lauren wasn't working out was because he couldn't talk to her like he could with me. He said she never wanted to do anything but kiss. If he told her he was bi, she'd drop him in an instant. That's why he liked me better. I asked him why he didn't just break up with Lauren."

"Because he's a moron and a pig and I never want you to speak to him again," Payson answered for her.

"Payson," Kim warned, "let your sister speak." Payson wondered how it could be possible that Becca had almost ruined her life and Kim still took her side. It seemed as though Payson would never compare, no matter what the circumstances.

"He said that Summer really hurt Lauren, and that she was very vulnerable right then. He said that she was like a bomb, that it you did or said the wrong thing she would explode and plot to destroy your life is you crossed her. He said she was dangerous. He said he wouldn't dare break up with her right when she was at her most delicate, but he would once I agreed to be his girlfriend." Payson's insides were burning to say, "_But Lauren was his girlfriend! Lauren was!" _Kim must've sensed her daughter's eagerness to interrupt, so she shot her a look that told her she could speak after her sister was finished. Payson sighed. Becca continued. "I didn't think I had a choice at the time. Being around Max, I felt intoxicated, like I never wanted to stop being around him. Telling him no would make him upset with me, and I couldn't imagine anything worse than not having him in my life. I wasn't thinking about Lauren. Max made her sound like some kind of Cruella de Vil. I thought if she was that horrible, then she deserved to lose Max. That's what I'm most ashamed of. I thought I deserved him more than she did.

"Things developed faster than I wanted them to," she went on. "It was made clear right when we first got together that he was much more serious about me than I was really ready for. But at the time, I thought I was ready. I thought all the time about how you all would react if you knew the things we were doing, and that sucked, knowing I couldn't tell you, but I thought holding onto him made it all worth it. He was constantly telling me that there was no other girl like me in the world. He gave me all sorts of different things. Books he thought I'd like, jewelry he said matched my eyes, even an alarm clock he said had my name written all over it. I felt like royalty."

"Well, who wouldn't feel like a queen when their boyfriend gives them an _alarm clock, _I mean, come on," Payson scoffed.

"_PAYSON!" _both of her parents practically screamed at her in unison. Mark gritted his teeth. "Let your sister _finish," _he growled. Payson didn't retreat. She wasn't some munchkin who was afraid of her own parents, crawling back to this cave of isolation most girls she knew resided in. No, she was the kind to retaliate! Not to say that Mark and Kim weren't the best parents she could have ever had, because they were. She just wished they'd stop looking at her like a child all the time!

"No," she said stubbornly, "no, I will not let her finish! Becca, all the feelings you have stirred up in your hormonal little soup pot are all fine and dandy, but you _cannot _seriously tell me that you blame this all on him!"

Kim looked alarmed and concerned. "He wasn't _pressuring_ you, was he?"

"Of course he wasn't," Payson jeered. "This is just as much your fault as it is his, Becca. Take some responsibility for your actions."

"You're only saying that because you used to be in love with him and you're jealous!" her younger sister cried. "You've always been jealous of me. You couldn't take the fact that I won an award at The Rocky Awards two years ago, and it's the same thing here!"

"You can't sincerely tell me that you think that is _at all_ similar to what we're talking about here," Payson told her. "This is why you'll never be as sincere about gymnastics as the elite are. You're constantly blaming other people or coming up with excuses for your own mistakes. If you can't even say that you've done something wrong, then how do you expect to be able to be on the Olympic team or do anything with your career? Stop acting so innocent all the time, Becca. You're not perfect." And with that, Payson stormed out of the living room and into the yard. She was going to go sit in her favorite tree, like she used to do when she was twelve and wanted to get away from her sister's annoying friends.

Payson hadn't been in her tree for years. She had kind of forgotten how much she used to love it. It was the tree she'd climbed up with Kaylie and Lauren after her first day at The Rock, where they'd sat talking for hours until Mrs. Keeler found them and made Payson's friends leave because their mothers would be worried. Since that day it had been her place to think, and whenever the wind would blow through the leaves Payson would imagine that the sound was the tree's voice of reason, giving her advice on whatever she was thinking about at that time. Payson climbed the steady branches with surprising skill. Despite the years she had never forgotten the grooves she placed her hands to hoist herself up. The familiar feeling of being high up in her tree like a bird reappeared as quickly as if it had never left Payson's system. With a satisfied little sigh of pleasure she settled on her favorite branch, and she was delighted that even though she was older her back still fit in the curve of the tree that made her position that much more comfortable.

She couldn't forget for a moment the chaos that had ensued since her sisters little liaison with Max. She still wasn't sure who she was madder at. Max, the jerk who she couldn't believe she had once thought she loved, or herself, for letting this happen and not noticing it sooner. Hadn't she and Becca had a great relationship once? A relationship where they told each other everything, giggling under the covers reading their mother's fashion magazines with a flashlight at two in the morning? Becca preferred Vogue, and Payson preferred…well, honestly, she didn't really have a preference. The only reason it was fun was because she was bonding with Becca, and not because she actually cared whether purple was the new black or whether Marc Jacobs had a new line that the editor of Elle thought was "genius" or whether Lindsay Lohan was in jail again. All of these things she thought were incredibly idiotic. If you liked purple, wear purple, if you liked Marc Jacob's new line, wear his new line. As for Lindsay Lohan…Payson had no words.

The only thing she cared about was Becca, those nights under the covers debating whether or not that model looked like Frida Kahlo or if it was just the unibrow. She wanted those nights back. She didn't want this new Becca who stole other people's boyfriends and was increasingly naïve as the days went on. She wanted the Becca who forced her to wear a two piece, or maybe by that time she was already with Max. Regardless, that Becca had been the sister she knew. Payson was so mad she quivered and shook. She had no fear of falling, but she steadied herself anyway and sulked.

"You look like a warrior with that expression on your face," she heard the man calling up to her from the ground, and immediately knew who it was. "A _tree_ warrior," Sasha added, his voice booming increasingly louder. She peered down at him over a leaf. "Translated as, what the _hell_ are you doing in a tree, Payson Keeler?" he shouted, a playful grin spreading wide on his face like butter.

Payson scowled at him. "Don't mock my thinking tree!" she yelled down at him.

"How can I not?" he countered. "And did you just call it a _thinking_ tree?"

Payson climbed down as quickly as a monkey. She got right in his face. "Don't hate what you don't understand."

He held his hands up in surrender. "Nobody said anything about hate."

"Oh please," she scoffed. "It was written all over your face. You were just visualizing me falling, breaking my neck, and ruining my career. Despite your growing love for me, you can't ignore your inner gymnastics coach."

"You're right," he agreed, "but I don't think I'll be able to convince you never to climb that tree again."

"Why's that?"

He looked at her, imitating her mocking expression. "Oh please," he said, using her words against her, "it's obviously very important to you. You'll never let it go. Also, you never do anything that threatens your gymnastics unless it is vital to your existence."

"True," she conceded, "and this tree," she said, going over and hugging it, "is vital. Also, for the record, I've never fallen out of it in the five years I've been living in Boulder." Suddenly, her face changed, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Why are you here?" she demanded. "You're not going to yell at my sister, are you? If you're here to kick and scream your job has been done by a very angry version of me."

"Oh?" Sasha asked with an impish light in his eyes. "I never would have guessed." His sarcasm was increasingly apparent the longer she stared at him. Payson whacked him on the chest with the back of her hand. "Oh," he repeated, this time in a groan, even though she couldn't have hurt him if she tried. "I got backhanded!"

"That you did," she answered, "and if you don't behave it'll happen again. But really," she added, "why are you here?"

"I am required to buy you a Spruce Juice," Sasha told her.

"You are?" Payson asked skeptically.

"Yes," he answered, "because you said you would be very unhappy once you got home, and I didn't like the thought of this, so I came here and told your mother I needed to talk to you about your floor routine. She said if I wanted to talk to you, I had to buy you a Spruce Juice. I want to talk to you, so therefore I must buy you a Spruce Juice. Let's go," he said, offering her his hand. She took it and he led her to his truck.

"Okay. I didn't know you went to Spruce Juice."

"This'll be my first time," he said.

Payson's eyes went wide. "Oh, you're in for quite the ride," she assured him. "First the agony of deciding which flavor to get, which only subsides after you go there enough times to develop a favorite, and then the disappointment when you discover that the first flavor you buy that sounded delicious isn't nearly as good as the flavor that the person that came with you bought, so then you have to buy the same flavor, but then the waiter offer you a free sample, which they _always _do to first time customers that they've never seen before, and then that sample is better than the one both you and the person with you have, so you must buy two more. Then you always run into somebody you know, and then they join you and suddenly you're not just buying five spruce juices, but seven, because they go through the same process except without the free sample because they've been there before."

"How do you know they've been there before?" Sasha inquired.

Payson responded as if he should already know. "Everyone goes there. Even my dad has been, and he's been in Minnesota so much looking for jobs since none are available here. I'm only not surprised you haven't been because you prefer eating Shredded Wheat by yourself in the dark while most people like Spruce Juice better." Sasha rolled his eyes. Payson grinned. "No offense intended, of course," she added. "Not that I ever approved of your oatmeal-eating ways."

"I still don't understand what is wrong with Shredded Wheat and oatmeal," Sasha argued.

"It isn't a substantial meal, Sasha! Not even for breakfast," Payson said. She got out of the car, ending the conversation abruptly as the door shut behind her. Sasha smiled and shook his head as he pulled the keys out of the car and followed her into the building.

"My God, can there be any more neon in this place?" He asked, shielding his eyes from the bright bedazzled palm trees sparkling, shining, and blocking his view. Payson smiled sympathetically and walked up to the counter to place their order. "Wait, don't I get to order what I want?" he objected.

"Sasha, trust me, you want what I'm ordering for you. It's fantastic," she assured him.

"What flavor?"

"Tropical Fizz," she told him.

"Which is what?" he asked.

"Mango, Pineapple, and Raspberry Juice mixed with mineral water with a lemon on the side in case you want a little bite," the woman behind the register said to them. Payson nodded encouragingly.

"Whatever happened to just plane apple juice?" Sasha inquired, bemused.

Payson and the Spruce Juice worker manning the register shared an amused look. "That is why," Payson said to him, "I am ordering for you. Two Tropical Fizzes, please," she told the woman.

"$5.83," she said to them. Payson opened her purse and gave her the money before Sasha could object. "I'm paying," she told him, "and you don't get to say a word about it."

"What happened to the wild ride I was in for with the samples you told me about?" Sasha asked her.

"I saved you the trouble by having us order the same thing." The woman handed them the drinks and they went to sit down at a booth, away from everyone else. "To avoid running into people," Payson explained. "I call it the isolation booth."

"You know, we really should talk about your floor routine, too," Sasha said, "just so we aren't lying to your mother. I assume you haven't told her?" Payson shook her head, almost mournfully. "Good," Sasha said, "Because I want to be with you when you do."

Payson looked alarmed. "You know you don't have to," she started, but he shook his head.

"It's what's right," he said simply. She was quiet for a moment.

"I know it is," Payson told him, "I just keep picturing her reaction…she'll blame it on herself," she said.

"Sound familiar?" Sasha asked.

"What?"

"Payson," he said, as if she should know what he was talking about, "you do that all the time. Whatever happens, you assume it must be partially your fault, even if it couldn't have been no matter which way you alter what really occurred. Although it is something I love about you," he paused, "it is also very wrong."

"You love what's wrong with me?"

"I always love what isn't right," he said. Payson's drink was already half gone, and Sasha handed even started his. He tentatively took a sip, and his eyes immediately went wide, and Payson was amused, thinking that he looked like a cartoon character. "This," he started slowly, "is _amazing!" _He drained it much more quickly than Payson had, and then got up to order two more. He paused, and told her, "I'm paying for this round."

"Okay," Payson said. "I have no objection."

She heard the woman behind the register say, "$5.83." And heard the sound of coins hitting the hardwood floor as Sasha fumbled with his money. Payson walked over to help him pick the change up. To her dismay, she saw some very familiar pumps standing at her head.

"Payson, Sasha, what are you doing here?" Lauren asked. She didn't sound very happy.

"We're p-picking up c-coins," Payson answered lamely. She could tell that Lauren probably hadn't wanted to run into her, especially then. Any reminder of Becca was most definitely not welcome, and that's exactly what Payson was, a reminder.

Sasha stood up much more gracefully than her and greeted Lauren warmly. "Hello, Lauren," he said with a smile, "Payson and I were just discussing her floor routine. What is your opinion on it?"

Lauren's eyes narrowed. There was a silence for a moment. "Well," she said after a while, her voice sounding strained. "Payson's twists are a lot better than mine."

"Nonsense, Lauren, from a coach's perspective, your twists are equal." Sasha was being as gentle as possible without giving away that he knew what had happened.

Payson squeezed her arm and murmured gently in her ear, "How are you?"Lauren glared at the floor. "For the record, I'm on your side," Payson attempted.

That prompted a small smile on her friend's part. "Max is going down," she hissed, spite in her voice.

Payson grinned and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Down," she agreed. Sasha pretended like he hadn't heard, and busied himself with picking up the coins.

"We won't even acknowledge his existence," Lauren said.

"If he medals at the Russian Invitational next week, we won't even bat an eye, let alone congratulate him."

"And if he even dares to come near us…" Lauren started.

"We'll walk right past," Payson finished.


	17. Confrontations

Every moment was a second closer to The Russian Invitational. Payson's floor routine was finished, and she devoted most of her training time to beam. Sasha was watching her, hands crossed around his chest. "Focus, Payson," he said to her. "Good, now dismount." She landed, hands flicked into a salute, and turned to hear his verdict. "It'll take practice, but it's getting there. The problem is, Ivanka's beam has been there for months, so this needs to be done, and it needs to be done yesterday. So, keep working. I'll be back to watch it again." Payson's eyebrows furrowed in concentration and she quickly redid her bun so it looked flawless. She nodded to Sasha and mounted the beam again, flipping and landing into a split. The insides of her quads ached. She had never gotten used to splits, even though she had done them hundreds of times. Payson hated them. She hated beam. Why did she have to do beam at this stupid invitational anyway?

In case you hadn't already guessed, Payson was not in a good mood. She had run into Max three times that day, and she had yearned to bite his head off, but being faithful to Lauren and the plan they had set up she lifted her chin in the air and walked right on by each and every time. She wanted so badly to just walk right up to him and scream in his face. How dare he? How dare he break her best friend's heart and almost sleep with Payson's sister? It made her crazy that she couldn't speak her mind if she tried. It wasn't just that she was sticking with the plan to freeze him out until he apologized, but that she was physically unable to yell at Max to his face. She didn't miss him, and it wasn't like she had expected for him to sit around pining for her forever. Maybe it was that he had been so nice, such a good guy, and so sweet to her before she broke up with him. Maybe it was that she couldn't believe he could do something so horrible. Maybe it was that she wanted Max to wake up and start acting like himself again. Didn't he say right to her face that he would be her friend? Friends don't sleep with other friend's sisters and break their friend's best friend's heart. Okay, that sounded confusing, but it didn't make it any less true.

All this Max business was the last thing Payson needed right then. How close was the Russian Invitational? Oh, yeah, it was _six and a half days away, _and one of the two apparatuses she was competing in still wasn't flawless.

What had life been like before gymnastics? Payson tried to remember. It was like she hadn't existed before she had put on her first leotard and tied her hair up in a bun. Almost as though all the times that her parents had kissed her forehead and tucked her in never happened because she couldn't do a cartwheel. She sighed and took her hair down. Her hair was the one thing that hadn't changed since she discovered her sport. She owed a lot to gymnastics. She owed Sasha to gymnastics, even. If it weren't for this crazy dream of hers, her life would've been completely different. That made her anxious.

"Are you okay?" Kaylie asked, walking up to her, ponytail swinging in the air as she moved.

Payson sighed. "Not really."

"What's wrong?" Kaylie's eyebrows creased in concern.

"Just nerves," Payson responded, giving her friend a reassuring smile.

"I don't know if I believe you," she countered. "Is it Becca?"

"Max, actually," Payson told her, giving in. Kaylie made a sympathetic noise in the back of her throat.

"Hang in there. When you kill it at the invitational, he'll regret ever laying a _hand_ on your sister." Payson nodded and Kaylie went to practice her bars. Payson mounted the beam again and began her routine. She put all her rage aside for a minute, and focused on landing every move. Unfortunately, Payson was being so cautious that she didn't have enough momentum for her dismount, and she landed flat on her back. Fear spiked inside of her like a spasm. Was she alright? Did she break her back again? Of course she didn't, but she was still incredibly mad at herself, so she punched the mat beneath her a couple of time and groaned before she hoisted herself up to try again. She felt no pain, but that didn't stop the hurtful thoughts that Payson possessed to jab at her brain like a swarm of bees. How could she have been so stupid? She knew not to be so scared, particularly on beam, because fear led to imbalance. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! You'll never medal at the Russian Invitational, let alone the Olympics! Don't you dare blame this on Becca; you are the only one responsible for this. You're an embarrassment, Payson Keeler…_

"Are you alright?"

Hearing the demon's voice echo in her ears pushed her over the edge. She was furious, enraged, and if looks could kill, Max Spencer would be burning in a massacre of fire, dying over and over and over again. Her insides were boiling. She was no longer incapable of ripping him to shreds. She would not be happy until she had screamed at the monster until she lost the ability to make words. "_Am I alright?" _she screeched. "You ask if I'm _okay, _after what you've done to my family?"

"I…"

"Don't you dare speak to me ever again," Payson hissed. "She's fifteen years old, Max! You're nineteen, and getting older every day! If I was to report you to the police, and right now I'm questioning why I shouldn't, then you would go to jail no questions asked!"

"Payson, listen…"

"No, I will not listen! Why is everyone trying to convince me I should listen to the people who betray me? And no, I am not being dramatic by saying that, because you did betray me! You did! You're no worse than the creep who raped Emily!" Max looked like he was about to object, but Payson was looking at him in such a way that he figured speaking would just make her angrier. "And don't think I don't know why you were using my sister in the first place!" she continued to scream. "I never loved you, and you can never have me, so you figured you'd take the next best thing, didn't you? Well, I'd rather you had molested me, because Becca isn't _the next best thing, _Becca is the best! The best! She's the most amazing, wonderful person ever and you hurt her!" Everyone was staring. Payson thanked God that Becca and Mrs. Keeler were at a dentist appointment that day. "I was in the coat closet with Kaylie the day you came to Austin's apartment drunk off your ass, and I heard every word you said! You screamed at Austin for saying my name, and by that time you were already abusing my sister to feel closer to me. I am disgusted with myself for ever thinking you were a good person, and I hate myself for ever posing for those horrible pictures you take!"

Summer and Sasha were standing in the crowd of people that had gathered to watch the fight. Sasha was standing confidently, looking rather pleased. Summer looked horrified, and kept nudging him. "Do something!" she cried.

"No," he said bluntly. "Max is a shithead, and he deserves this. I'm proud of Payson for being so brave."

Summer's eyes were as wide as golf balls, and she looked revolted at Sasha's bad language.

Payson wasn't about to finish. "I bet you don't even feel guilty," she snarled. "You destroyed Lauren, too, Max. You never even thought to break up with her before you got together with Becca? You didn't just hurt my family, you hurt the first friend I ever made when I came here. Before Worlds, every time I spoke with you, when I told you things I never told anyone else…" she trailed off. "You were my friend, Max! I don't make friends easily. I honestly thought you were a good person, and I did trust you." Her voice broke. Tears welled up in her eyes. This was becoming embarrassing, when he was the one who was supposed to be humiliated. He didn't even look phased. That made her even madder. "Whatever, Max. Just don't ever try to talk to Becca ever again, and if you do you'll have me to answer to." Payson turned back to her beam, and did the most difficult mount she could think of with perfect execution, not even trying to appear intimidating but she looked scarier than she ever had.

Max walked through the crowd very slowly, stopping to hiss in Sasha's ear, "I know what you've been doing with Payson. I'm not doing anything more than you are." Sasha fought back the urge to punch him. "What is it with those Keeler girls and older men?" Max continued, shaking his head, "Sluts."

That was it. Sasha pulled him by the shirt and hoisted him into the air. He wasn't much shorter than his gymnastics coach, but in that case a few inches went a long way. Summer squeaked in fear like a pathetic little mouse. "Sasha, don't hurt him!"

"I would if I could," Sasha snarled, "but fortunately for him, I can't. Stay away from the Keelers, and don't even think about laying a finger on either of the girls. Payson will clobber you, and if she doesn't, I will, the parent's board and the NGO be damned." Summer visibly winced again at the curse word. Sasha was disgusted that she couldn't even look past her beliefs for one moment to see what a moron this kid was. He let Max stand on his feet again, pushing past him and running to Payson. She ignored him and continued her routine, but he couldn't take his eyes off of the tears running down her face. "Payson?" he asked softly to no prevail. He wasn't going to get an answer. He needed one, though, so he mounted the beam himself and stood, facing her back. Sasha was aware that every gymnast in the building was looking at him. Men didn't do beam, but since Sasha coached both boys and girls he knew how to do a few simple mounts and dismounts. "Payson," he said again, this time more firmly. Slowly she pivoted to face him. He staggered, almost falling. She steadied him by putting her hands on his shoulders. "He'll never," Sasha told her, "touch you or Becca ever again."

"Not if I can help it," she answered. He brushed away her tears with the back of his hand. "Should I be embarrassed?" she laughed, as though she couldn't care less either way.

"No," Sasha responded. "In fact, if I wasn't so angry I'd be crying too."

"I'm angry, too," she said, "in case you hadn't noticed."

Sasha laughed. "Come on, now," he told her. "Let's go to my office and talk before I fall and break my neck."

"But my routine still isn't perfect," she objected.

"Do you really think we can fix it right after all that's happened?" he countered. Payson was quiet. "You can stay late to work on it," he reassured her. Sasha took her hand. "Will you help me off? Don't tell anyone, but beam petrifies me."

She grinned devilishly. "I never would've guessed. It's a good thing I'm fearless," she teased. "On three we jump."

"Not on your life!" Sasha exclaimed. "No, I will not jump, I will slide." So he did, looking a little ridiculous, while Payson did the most complicated dismount she was capable of. "Show off," Sasha grumbled. She looked happier, which made him happier. He followed her to his office, pausing on the steps to acknowledge all the gymnasts staring at him. Summer was looking their way suspiciously. He raised a hand and winked at her. Summer blushed and turned away, knowing she'd been caught.

Later that night, Payson texted her mother to tell her she'd be late, because Sasha wanted to work more on her beam.

_Kim: Is everything alright, Payson? _

_Payson: It will be once my beam is perfect._

_Kim: You know that's not what I meant. Summer told me about everything that happened 2day. _

_Payson: We'll talk when I get home. _

_Kim: Okay, are you sure you're alright?_

_Payson: Yes. See you at home and in the meantime don't tell Becca. I'll handle it._

_Kim: I won't. I love you, Pay._

_Payson: You too._

She turned off her phone and left it in her bag. Sasha was waiting for her at the beam. The gym was quiet. They were the only ones there. "Did you tell Kim?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she answered. "Summer told her about the whole Max thing." Sasha's eyebrows creased in concern, but she waved him off. "It's okay, so long as Becca doesn't know."

"Do you think she does?"

"Not according to my mom," she said. "Let's get to work."

They worked for two hours, until Sasha was able to convince Payson that there was nothing they could do to make it better. Then Sasha led her to his office where they sat next to each other on the small couch in the corner of his office. "Thank you," she said to him, "for not asking me if I'm okay."

"It seemed pointless," Sasha replied. "You obviously weren't, or else you wouldn't have been crying." Payson smiled and leaned in to kiss him. That's where they stayed, for the next hour. They sat and kissed. And kissed and kissed and kissed.


	18. Surprise!

**AN: I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I've had family visiting, but thank you for everyone who've continued to follow this. Here we go!**

Sasha sat in his trailer on Saturday night, swirling wine in his glass, watching the Rockies game, when he heard a knock on his door. With a turn of the knob and a pull, he became face to face with none other than her, the girl he had been trying not to think about because it pained him. Summer looked at him expectantly. "Hi…" he said uncertainly, wondering if he should let this woman in, remembering the last time she had been there. He vaguely remembered telling her he loved her, and then after telling him the same she had run off to Steve Tanner and fell in his arms.

"Hi, Sasha, can I come in?" she asked, her voice a little giggly. Summer had big doe eyes, and they looked glazed. She teetered into his trailer, but Sasha never moved, so she fell into him. "Oops," she laughed, "clumsy me," she chorused.

"Summer, are you _drunk?" _Sasha asked, incredulous.

"Yep," she hiccupped. "Boy, has it been a long time since I've been able to say that!" Summer's hands flew into the air. "_I'm drunk!" _she yelled, and she never stopped giggling.

"Okay, I should get you home," Sasha said, reaching for his car keys.

"No!" Summer exclaimed. "I want," she paused to hiccup, her expression and her tone of voice suddenly very earnest, "to come in."

"Well, alright, but only for a minute, and then I'm driving you home," Sasha said skeptically, helping her up the step to get inside.

Summer saw the wineglass on the table and pointing at him accusingly. "You have been drinking," she demanded.

"Only half a glass of wine," Sasha told her, suddenly very defensive, "nothing compared to everything that's probably in _your _system. Now, let's get you seated," he helped her onto a chair, "and now tell me, why did you come by? How did you get here? Oh Summer, you didn't drive in this condition, did you?"

"No! No, I am a responsible, young, _Christian _woman and I wanted to have a good time with my girlfriends but I would never _ever_ break the _law_ and risk putting someone and myself in _danger," _she exclaimed, panting.

"Okay…" Sasha exhaled, "but why are you here?"

"Because Mary dared me to come!" she shrieked and then burst into giggles. Suddenly very serious, she said, "Hey, are you going to finish that wine?" Sasha looked at the glass on his counter and grabbed it protectively.

"No more alcohol for you," Sasha said to her, "and who the hell is Mary?" Summer laughed and pressed a finger to his lips.

"Naughty, naughty," she chorused, then without warning she moved her finger away and kissed him, hard, climbing onto his lap, trapping him. Sasha pushed her off.

"Summer!" he exclaimed.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Summer," Sasha repeated, gripping her wrists and leading her to the couch. He sat her down, and settled in beside her. "We don't want a repeat of last time."

"Actually, that's why Mary dared me to come by," Summer said, her voice very high.

"Really?"

"Yeah," she answers. "She said it was _so _obvious that ever since I broke it off with Steve I've _wanted _you." She laughed when she said the word "you" and tugged on Sasha's shirt. Sasha took her hand and put it off of him. Summer ignored his disinterest and leaned into him, and he leaned back, so it seemed as though Summer was almost on top of him. He squirmed, trying to get out from under her. "You know what would make this so much more romantic," she breathed, her lips inches from his, and Sasha smelled vodka on her breath, "champagne."

"Well, unfortunately, Summer, I don't have any champagne," Sasha said, jumping out from under her and standing in front of the couch, gripping the back of his neck. "I really should be getting you back home," he told her, searching again for his keys.

Summer looked defiant. She didn't want to leave. The reason she came was to get back together with Sasha, and having him take her home didn't look promising. What would get him to want her? Suddenly, she knew. It was so obvious. While Sasha was occupied, back facing towards her, Summer stood up and unzipped her dress. It fell to her ankles, and she prowled up to Sasha and wrapped her legs around his waist, kissing the back of his neck. Sasha jumped, and she almost fell, but her nails dug into his chest and she stayed on. "Summer!" he gasped. "Get off of me!" She obliged, but when she was in front of him she pushed him onto the couch and climbed on top of him, her forehead pressing onto his, her chest dangling in front of him. He struggled. "Summer, this is wrong, I don't love you, and I don't want you. You're intoxicated; you don't know what you're doing!" He pleaded. Her arms pressed against the back of the couch, trapping him inside.

Sasha was desperate. He needed to get out, so he tried a different tactic. "Summer," he said again, his voice a little gentler. "You're a good person, and a very beautiful woman, and someone is going to marry you and make you very happy, but that person isn't me. Why give up your virginity for someone who truly doesn't care for you?"

Summer stopped trying to get his shirt off with her teeth. Baseball blared behind them. "You used to love me," she said, sounding a little bemused. "What changed?"

"Well, Summer, you broke my heart," Sasha said bluntly, "and I got over you."

The moment of promise was over. Summer looked like she was through with talking. She pressed her body to his, but being a virgin she had no idea what she was doing, so she did the one thing that came immediately to mind. She unhooked her bra. "Summer," Sasha warned, "you don't know what you're doing. I don't want to sleep with you. You do realize that if you go through with this, you will have raped me." Once again, he was ignored, and she tried again to get his shirt off without his cooperation. Sasha tried a different tactic. "Okay, fine," he said. "Just let me freshen up first. I need to take a shower, and use the restroom, and then I'll be back. Okay?"

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked, pressing his cheek to hers and his hands to her waist. He winced.

"No, no, that's okay, I'll be right back." Sasha made his escape, and having no intention of sleeping with Summer, he thanked his lucky stars that his cell phone was in his pocket.

"Hello, Sasha?" Payson answered her cell phone, sounding tired.

"Payson, thank goodness you answered," Sasha said. "Summer is here."

"What?" Payson asked, suddenly sounding a little jealous. "Why?"

"She's drunk off her ass, and I keep telling her that I'm going to take her home but then she's taking her clothes off and telling me she loves me, and I can't get her to put her dress back on, so I can't take her home. I'm in the bathroom, hiding from her like a sissy. This is my home, I should be able to take authority, but she's not listening! I need help. Will you come over? If you knock on the door Summer will have to put her clothes back on, and then I can call her a cab…"

"Summer is drunk?" Payson asked, skeptical. "That doesn't sound like her."

"No, it doesn't, but she is and I don't know what to do. Please, Payson, you're the only one I love, and I'd never sleep with anyone while still devoted to you. You have to believe me. I need help."

"Okay, I'll be right there. My parents are asleep, so maybe if I snuck out I could be home again in a half hour and they'd never know I was gone…"

"No, I don't want you to lie to your parents, Payson," Sasha said to her. "You should wake them up, and tell them that it's an emergency and I need help. But please, be quick. I told her I was in the shower, so I have a little time." Sasha turned the shower on to make it sound like he was in it.

"I'll try my best," Payson said. "Hang in there. I love you."

"I love you more than anything in this life, Payson. I do not want to sleep with Summer." She nodded and hung up the phone, tiptoeing to her parent's room.

"Mom?" she asked, nudging her mother, who had fallen asleep over her book.

"Payson, what's wrong?" her mother jolted, bags under her eyes.

"Sasha needs my help. It's an emergency. I need to leave, and I'll be back in a while, maybe an hour."

"Wait, Payson, I should come with you, I don't want you driving in the dark…"

"I can call a cab if it makes you feel better, and I'll call you once I'm there," Payson pleaded, "I just really need to go alone."

"Mark, wake up," Kim prodded her husband.

"Huh?" he asked, lifting his head off his pillow.

"Payson needs to leave, Sasha needs her help. I don't know if we should let her go alone."

"It's only ten, her curfew is eleven thirty," Mark said, waving his wife off. "I'm tired. Let her go."

"But, Mark…"

"Don't call us once you're there, Payson, you'll wake me up."

"Yes, sir," Payson answered.

"Go," he told her, "If it's that urgent, you don't want to be late." Payson didn't need any more assurance.

When she got to the Rock, she rapped on the door. She heard talking inside.

"You took a long time," Summer said, giggling, when Sasha emerged from the bathroom. He had wet his hair to make it look more believable. "I was beginning to think you were hiding from me."

Sasha avoided looking at her topless. "Was that someone at the door?" he asked. "You need to put your clothes on, Summer."

"I'll just wait in the bedroom," Summer said, winking at him.

"I don't have a bedroom, Summer, the bed is right over there," Sasha told her. Payson rapped on the door again.

Summer sighed. "Fine," she huffed, "but the second whoever this is leaves; my dress goes off again, this time with my underwear." Once she was clothed again, Sasha opened the door.

"You're a saint," he whispered to her. "I didn't know what to do."

"Hi, Payson," Summer greeted, sounding resentful.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Payson said to them, coming inside.

"No, you weren't," Sasha told her quickly, the same time Summer said "Actually…."

"Listen, Sasha, I was wondering if we could talk," Payson asked him.

"Of course!" Sasha exclaimed. "Yes, stay as long as you like." Payson sat down on the couch. Summer glared.

"So, the Russian Invitational is on Monday," Payson said, "and I was wondering if I could go over my beam one more time."

"Payson, it's ten thirty at night," Summer said through clenched teeth.

"No, no, that's not a problem. Sure, Payson, I have the key to the gym right here. Summer, I'm afraid you're going to have to leave," Sasha jumped at the opportunity.

"But…"

"I came in a cab. He's still outside if you want to take it home," Payson offered, eyeing the discarded bra lying next to her on the sofa. "Don't forget your bra," she reminded her.

Summer flushed, picking it up. "Well, okay…if you want me to, Sasha," she looked at him as though he was going to object. He held the door open for her.

"Bye!" Payson sing songed, wiggling her fingers at the woman. The door shut.

"Did I tell you how much I love you?" Sasha asked, turning to Payson.

"Over the phone, yes, not in person," she said cheekily. He leaned in to kiss her, running his hands through her hair. Payson gripped her hands behind his neck. On the television, the Rockies suddenly hit ten consecutive home runs after seven innings of nothing. They won the game 10-8, and for a little longer, Sasha felt like he won too.


	19. Discussions and Welcomes

Payson and Sasha were talking by the door at the Rock the morning of the Invitational. Payson was excited for the Russian team's arrival that afternoon, but she was even more anxious for the entrance of the woman of the hour, the one who wanted to steal her man. Summer stumbled through the door wearing sunglasses the size of her face, groaning. Seeing both Payson and Sasha waiting for her at the door made her feel even more embarrassed than she already did. Summer shielded her face with her hand and entered the office, where she color coordinated her pens. "Well, hello there," Kim greeted her. "Ready to beat some Russians?" her friend giggled. Summer gave her a weak smile. "What's with the shades? Not that they aren't fabulous, but you're indoors." Kim plucked them off of her face. "Oh my gosh," she cried, seeing the bags under her eyes and the tired expression on her face. "What happened?"

"I am so humiliated." Summer moaned, putting her head in her hands. Kim leaned in.

"Tell me all," she ordered.

"I…" Summer looked around to make sure no one else could hear but her best friend. "I went out with Mary last night to catch up and…I had a little too much to drink."

"You drink like a bird," Kim said, bemused.

"Normally, but she's my bestie from college and I hadn't seen her in years, and…I got a little carried away," Summer admitted.

"Okay, but that happens to the best of us. I don't see why you're embarrassed." Kim occupied her time by sorting papers, still listening, but less interested.

"Mary dared me to go over to Sasha's trailer and tell him that I still loved him, and I got a little carried away with that, too."

That got Kim's attention. "What do you mean?"

"I tried to sleep with him, and he kept telling me that he didn't care about me anymore and that it was wrong for me to sleep with him if we weren't in love…"

"_What?" _Kim exclaimed. "You're joking. What about abstinence?"

"I know," her friend groaned. "I totally broke God's trust. I need to be more careful!"

"Summer," Kim sighed. "Do you really think God will be upset with you if you sleep with someone you love? Do you really have to be married?"

"Yes," Summer insisted. "It's my faith, Kim, it's not something I can just give up lightly."

"I know," Kim said. "I'm sorry. Since when do you love Sasha, anyway? I thought you were still getting over Steve."

Summer gave her another weak smile. "I don't think I ever really got over Sasha."

Out on the floor, Payson and Sasha spoke in soft tones. They didn't want anyone to overhear their conversation, but they didn't want to look too close together either. Sasha longed for the day when they wouldn't have to hide anymore. "What are you going to say to her?" Payson asked him.

"Summer, you mean?"

"Who else?" Payson responded. He shook his head. "Well, you have to say _something _to her. She works with you."

"Payson, I want to tell your mother about us. Tonight," he revealed, ignoring her previous comment. She looked surprised, then annoyed.

"Don't avoid the situation, Sasha. Summer is going to want to talk to you eventually, and I think we should know what you're going to say to her so she doesn't get suspicious about…us. And as for my mother, do we have to tell her the _day _of the Invitational? I have enough to worry about. I don't want stressing about telling her to effect my performance."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Sasha admitted, which surprised her. "I think I'll wait to see what Summer says to me, first. If she's embarrassed, I don't want to make it worse by approaching her. If she wants to talk about it, I will, but I'll be extremely careful not to imply that I'm with someone else." She nodded. "And as for your mother, that was stupid of me. I know we shouldn't tell her the day of a major meet, but all this hiding is making me nervous."

"I know," she sighed, longing to take his hand. "My dad got another job in Minnesota, but it's not nearly as good as the last one, and things are tense enough with Becca for me to bring in another burden onto my mother's shoulders. My dad is going to be so angry, and when he's angry my mother is always angry too no matter whether or not she was originally. You're worth it, but I can't help wishing they would approve. I know they won't, though, so I want to keep this between us for as long as possible."

"I understand, but we can't keep it from them, Payson. We have to tell them eventually." She looked at the floor. He sighed, and nodded twice, knocking his fists together once, their personal code for "I love you." Payson smiled and nodded once, knocking her fists together twice, their code for "I love you too."

Their moment was interrupted by the sound of a car door slam from outdoors. Payson jumped, Sasha peered out the glass door. "It's the Russians! National Team, line up! Line up! They're here!" The team got into their assigned positions. The line up made them look very professional. The Russian team had a similar line, and they filed into the gym like an army, Ivanka in the front, her hands on her hips. The rest of the team had their arms crossed around their chest. The Russian coach acknowledged at the Americans and shook hands with Sasha. "Welcome," Sasha greeted. The Russian coach nodded and attempted a smile, but it looked more like a smirk.

"Thank you for hosting us," he said, his accent increasingly apparent as he mispronounced the word "hosting," making it sound more like "hosing".

"You are early," Sasha told him. "The judges are not here yet."

"We have more training to do," the Russian answered. "May we use your gym?"

"Um," Sasha stuttered, surprised. "Well, there are other gymnasts here that are not on the National team. They leave in a half hour so we can have the meet. Until then…" he trailed off, noticing that the Russian coach was cocking his head as though he had no idea what Sasha was saying. Kelly Parker stepped up.

"Sasha," she said, "my mom had me learn a little Russian for the Invitational. I can translate for you." _Of course you can, _Payson thought, still not used to her friend's extensive education.

"That's great, Kelly. Please do," Sasha said, looking relieved, going over to stand by Kaylie, the captain. He leaned in to tell her, "It's going to be a long day." She laughed.

"Hang in there. We're ready," Kaylie assured him. Payson heard this, and sincerely hoped that her friend was right. Kelly finished her translation. Everything sounded like gibberish to Payson.

Sasha was right. It would be a long day.


	20. Performances and Applauses

It was Lauren's turn on vault, for a change. Payson crossed her fingers and her toes as she stood next to her team to watch the event. Since she was wearing no shoes, the toes were visible. Across the mat, Ivanka gave her a strange look. Payson smiled like a Barbie doll and widened her eyes so they were as big as golf balls, wiggling her fingers in a wave. Ivanka looked at her even stranger. Kaylie nudged Payson, biting her lip and trying not to laugh. Lauren scowled at them, silently scolding them for stealing her spotlight, but she looked slightly amused nevertheless. Putting on a smile for the judges, she saluted them and ran towards the vault, hoisting herself into the air and using her hands to push herself up into a triple twist before sticking her landing. Steve Tanner was watching from the crowd, and you could hear his cheer before anyone else's. Lauren imitated Payson's previous look and shook her hips at Ivanka before taking her place at the front of the mat. Her trademark hairstyle, the braids twisting up into a ponytail, looked fabulous as it swung when she sprinted towards the vault once more, executing her vault flawlessly again, sticking her landing without a stumble or a buckle in her knees. Kaylie sprinted towards her best friend and they gripped each other's arms and jumped around in a circle, squealing like little girls, but you could barely hear them over the roar of the audience.

Payson hugged Lauren when she exited the mat and murmured in her friend's ear, "The bastard is _gawking_ at you."

Lauren knew who she was talking about. "Yeah?" she said to Payson. Lauren swung around and locked eyes with Max, who was sitting on the bench near the door, awaiting his turn, Austin sitting next to him. She tossed her hair back, hands on her hips, and smirked at him from across the gym with a wink. He looked stunned. She turned back to Payson. "We'll give him something to see, eh?"

"You bet," Payson assured her. "Look who else showed up." She pointed to a guy in the front row. Lauren turned around once again. Her face registered into shock when she saw none other than Carter Anderson holding flowers, staring at her from the stands. "He acted like a jerk for a while there, Lo, and he almost split you and Kaylie up…" Payson cautioned.

"That's in the past," Lauren scoffed. "Maybe he's changed."

"How can you tell already?"

"He showed up, didn't he?" she countered. "I'm willing to give him a second chance."

"But Lo…" Payson was skeptical. "How do you know he's even here for you?"Lauren looked at her as if to say, _"Come on." _Payson looked up at Carter again. He was really looking at Lauren. Like, really, giving her such a look Payson wondered why her friend's face wasn't red as a tomato. "Okay," she relented, "but you haven't even spoken to him yet. How do you know he's different? There are so many nice guys out there, Lauren, why do you have to go back to the ones who hurt you?"

"He didn't hurt me, he hurt Kaylie," her friend argued.

"But do you want to be with someone who hurts anybody?" Payson asked.

"Like you said, I haven't even spoken to him yet. Nothing's going to be determined until I hear what he has to say."

It was Kaylie's turn on bars. She didn't disappoint. Her toned arms hoisted her up and she pulled her legs over her head, diamond ring glinting from the chain around her neck, hanging in front of her face. Her eyes focused on it, the symbol of the promise she made Austin, and she used it as determination to pull through as she opened her legs and closed them, the music blaring from the speakers. Swinging herself up she balanced, feet on the bar, falling into the higher bar and catching herself, swaying around and around before leaping and turning as she caught herself onto the lower bar once again. When she finally landed she stumbled for half a second before giving the judges a winning smile and she saluted. It would've been a flawless performance if it weren't for the landing, but the deduction wouldn't be so steep as to knock their score down too much. Austin's cheer was the loudest. Sasha leaned in to murmur acknowledgment into her ear before she went to down half her water bottle in one gulp.

A Russian girl went on floor. It was sloppy; she landed on her back for two of the tumbles and she was completely off the beat of the music. Her leaps were unimpressive, and what was supposed to be a double Arabian, the very move that prompted Kaylie's anorexia, was a complete disaster.

Then it was Ivanka's turn on beam, the very routine that she had done at Worlds. Sasha leaned in to whisper to Payson, "It's old. The judges want to see something fresh, like you have."

Payson wasn't so sure, watching Ivanka was like watching Richard Gere and Rene Zellwegger in the Chicago movie, doing something Payson only imagined herself being able to do. "But, look at her, Sasha, she's so _good," _she argued.

"You're better," he countered, his British accent very thick. If that had been a movie, several twelve year old girls would've swooned, Payson thought. Didn't twelve year old girls like people like Sasha? She didn't know, because when she was twelve she had just moved from Minnesota and didn't have time for any movies with sparkly vampires and tan guys who couldn't seem to keep their shirts on. She was desperately trying to distract herself from Ivanka, who had just executed a huge flip and landed flawlessly, not a drop of sweat glistening on her alabaster forehead. The second Sasha's hand touched her shoulder; all thoughts concerning Ivanka were gone. The warm feeling that spread throughout her whole body felt better than any victory against Russia or anyone else would ever feel. She didn't even notice her rival's incredible dismount and the heart stopping score that appeared on the screen.

"Sasha," she said to him. His eyebrows raised in attention. "I'm next on floor. Our new routine," she said, beginning to sound panicked again when he lifted his hand away from her. "I don't think I can do it…"

"You can," he assured her. "You can, Payson Keeler."

When he said her name, all her systems lit up with electricity. That's it, she thought, that's what will get her to do well. "Sasha," she repeated. "Tell me something you love about me. I need to hear it." He glanced around. No one was paying attention. The bellowing from the crowd since Ivanka's finish hadn't ceased. No one would hear.

"Payson," he murmured in her ear. His voice echoed through her head. "I love how incredibly strong you are, and how no matter what the problem you plow through it like a warrior. But I also love that in the times when no one else is around but family and friends, you turn into the most stunningly beautiful woman in the world without even realizing it, and I love the way you love those close to you. Now, I know that you will do wonderfully. Go on now. Listen to your own advice and don't be afraid, whatever happens."

Payson didn't need any more encouragement. She stampeded onto the floor like the warrior she was, Sasha's voice in her ear as she took her position, the finale of Haydn's 52nd piano sonata in E flat major beginning to play.

_I love how incredibly strong you are. _She landed her first move.

_No matter what the problem you plow through it like a warrior. _Then she landed her second, hands floating around like bubbles as she spun and spun, spotting so she wouldn't get dizzy.

_You turn into the most stunningly beautiful woman in the world. _Her stag ring leap came at last, Sasha's thoughts louder than the sonata, and her head wrenched back, hair floating around her in waves, feeling as magnificent as she was to him.

_I know that you will do wonderfully. _Payson flipped once, twice, and then executing the double Arabian the Russian girl had failed at so perfectly Kaylie's head spun as memories warped around her like a sea, but no one's eyes left Payson's for a moment.

_I love the way you love. _She folded herself into a flower, not unlike the way she ended her last floor routine, except this time her routine wasn't over.

_Go on now; listen to your own advice. _She sprung up, dancing around the floor with the grace and poise of a ballerina and a princess rolled into one.

_Don't be afraid, whatever happens. _Payson ended her routine with her fingers spread wide, raising her arms over her head, leaning back, extending her neck.

There was a silence before somebody burst into applause. The rest of the crowd followed. Kelly was the first to run out and hug Payson, Kaylie, Lauren, and the other two girls on the team following. Payson looked over all her friends and saw Sasha, who was smiling so wide it looked like it hurt. He nodded twice, and knocked his fists together once. She nodded once, and knocked her fists together twice. Kaylie looked at her curiously. "Its code," Payson whispered in her friend's ear.

"For what?" she asked. But Payson didn't answer as they were ushered off the floor. Her score was mind boggling, even higher than Ivanka's had been on beam. Sasha hugged her. It was another Russian's turn for bars. The girl, no older than fourteen, looked completely floored, and her routine looked unprepared.

Kelly's hips bumped Payson's. "We've got this in the bag," she assured her.

"Don't be so sure. Most people still have one more event, and the Russians are just getting started."

"Oh please," Kelly scoffed with her hair in her trademark devil horns. "Payson, if you could've seen yourself, you would be agreeing with me. Actually, not only would you be agreeing with me, you'd be saying," Kelly made a face like an idiot, tongue hanging out, _"Duh." _They both laughed.

Kelly went next on beam, and then on bars. Her bars were much better than her beam. Kaylie went on floor, which was much better than her bars had been. Lauren was only competing in vault.

Overall, the Russians' performance had been average at best. The only star had been Ivanka, who no doubt their coach had spent all his time with.

Payson was nervous, but deep down she knew they would win. Or would they? Ivanka had been incredible. Doubt churned in her stomach for just a moment before

**Final Score**

_**1rst place: United States of America- 181.87**_

_**2**__**nd**__** place: Russia- 175.21**_

The crowd applauded and did the wave. The team hugged and ran over to greet their parents and hug them. Payson hugged Sasha first. All in all, it was a victory celebrated with lots of hugs.

And after Russia left, in Sasha's office with the door firmly shut, for two certain people, kisses.


	21. Kim Knows

**AN: I didn't mean to hate on Twilight, **_**I**_** love it, but do you really think that's the kind of thing **_**Payson **_**would like? ;) Anyway, I think it is the gymnastics that makes my writing a little disconnected, since I'm not a gymnast myself. I tried to get it out of the way and move on to other things. I hate Summer, too, so that's why I made her a drunken crazy two chapters ago. I had a lot of fun with that, because I'm evil that way. I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!**

"Are you ready?" Sasha asked. Payson squeezed his hand as though she was holding on for dear life. Her world spun. What would Kim say? What would she do? Payson hated being uncertain. It was the feeling that scared her the most, as though not knowing her future was worse than not having one at all. And this wasn't just her future, either, it was the person she loved she was afraid for. Mark could be dangerous, but the wrath of her mother was even more deadly. Kim was like a grizzly bear when it came to her cubs. If she ever found out that Lauren had sent the video of Payson and Sasha's kiss to the NGO, whatever they were about to face would seem like a game of tag. Payson was sure that when they told Kim that they were in an inappropriate relationship, she even winced at the words; her mother would explode, like a volcano, drowning Sasha in lava that scalded his skin. Payson would try to defend him, but that would only make the situation worse. Kim would skin Sasha alive, claiming that was what he got for laying a hand on _her _daughter, just like she would've done with Max if Becca hadn't shielded him.

"Payson, don't act like you already know what's going to happen," Sasha soothed. "You know your mother as an authority figure, so you're imagining the worst possible scenarios that probably are never going to happen. I know your mother as a friend, and among the many arguments we've had there's never been a time when I doubted she would forgive me. She'll see our side eventually; we'll make sure of it. But it is true that you know your mother better than me, no matter how it is you do. I need to rely on you to tell me if I'm going about defending us the entirely wrong way. Okay?" Payson couldn't respond. There was a lump the size of Canada sticking inside her mouth like an icicle, making it impossible to form words. She twisted the silver band Sasha gave her around her finger, nervous. He leaned in to murmur in her ear, "When you were little, did your mother ever tell you that she would love you unconditionally, that no matter what you did or the trouble you were in, she would love you anyway? After this, she will still be your mom. She will still love you." She nodded, seeing his point.

"But…" her voice sounded small, which infuriated her and that, that was the end of being scared. Payson fixed her posture, lifted her head, and strengthened her voice. She would not be weak, not on her own property, so she stared at Sasha, straight in his eye. "She made no such promise to you. That's what makes me anxious. We have no clue how she will react, only that she will be much angrier with you than she will be with me, and that unsettles me because I love you and I don't want anything to happen to you. Don't underestimate my mother, Sasha Belov. She is lethal, and if she feels that you have harmed me she will stop at nothing to make sure that you burn in Hell for the rest of eternity." Clearing her throat, she turned to look at the front door of her house, but she was not quite done.

"Payson…" Sasha interrupted. She ignored him.

"Now, you are right. I know my mother much better than you do. We are doing the right thing by telling my parents separately. When they are apart, they are weaker, and they cannot feed off of each other for support. Mom's opinions reflect those of my Dad's. When she's alone, she could have a completely different response than when she's with Dad. For example, if Dad is angry, she will be too if she is around him. If they are apart, Dad could be mad and my mother completely overjoyed, though that is a stretch. They tend to think similarly either way." Payson turned to face him. "What is it you wanted to say?"

He took the silver band off of her finger and held it in front of him, level with his eye. "Inimă, do you remember what this stands for?"

Payson didn't blink. "Love, always," she answered, not a hitch in her voice. He put it back on her finger.

"That's right. No matter what happens in that house, no matter how Kim reacts, I will still love you. Nothing is going to change that. So in a way, your mother and I are similar. She loves you irrevocably, and so do I, just in very different ways. One day, I will marry you. Remember that." Before she could stop in, he rang the doorbell, not that she would've. Payson was still mesmerized by his words, the same way she had been at the Invitational.

_One day, I will marry you._

The door opened, and the daze had ceased. There Becca stood, looking bewildered. "Um…is this a surprise party?"

"You can't have a surprise party with two people, Becca," Payson scoffed. "Is Mom home?"

"Yeah, but Pay…you didn't have to use the doorbell, it's your house."

"That, actually, was me," Sasha said to her, holding up a hand, "Hi, Becca." She looked like she had just noticed him for the first time, and was very surprised about it. Phoebe ran up next to her and barked. "Hello, Phoebe," he greeted, leaning down to pet her, which surprised everyone. Sasha didn't seem like a dog person. He probably wasn't, he just had wanted to make a good impression.

"Becca, we really need to talk to Mom…alone," Payson said, as gently as possible. Becca had been really fragile since the whole Max argument. She twisted people's words and accused them of hinting that she was a slut or that she was an idiot for trusting Max, but she didn't seemed phased by that comment, which was a relief.

Instead she just looked at them knowingly and teased, "What, are you asking for her consent to get married underage, Pay?" Payson's mind soared remembering what Sasha had told her moments prior to that joke, and even though her heart fluttered like a bird she was still annoyed at her sister for giving her a hard time.

"Be_CA," _Payson complained.

"Fine, fine, she's in the kitchen." Becca looked a little sheepish when she said, "…Come on in."

Payson led Sasha into her house and stood in the living room. She looked wishfully out the window at her thinking tree, thinking that she'd much rather be sitting high up in a branch with Sasha, out of reach from the rest of the world. Kim followed Becca into the doorway, looking a little bemused. Becca left, mouthing "Good luck" to Payson before she vanished down the hall. Payson appreciated that, because she knew she would need it. It was also nice to know that even though she and her sister had been arguing, and both of them had changed and grown, they would still always be connected. That was the way it would be with Sasha, too, she reassured herself, no matter what Kim said or did after they told her.

"Hi, Sasha, it's nice to see you on our day off," Kim greeted, giving him a hug. Payson winced. She wouldn't be hugging him in a minute.

"Hi, Kim," Sasha said, vaguely feeling like he was meeting the parents, even though he worked alongside Payson's mother every day.

"So, to what do I owe this lovely surprise?" she asked, looking from her daughter to her coworker, completely unaware.

"Mom, I think we should sit down," Payson said, gesturing to the leather chair across from the couch. Her mother looked even more confused, but she obliged, and the secret couple sat next to each other on the sofa facing her. "Mom," Payson repeated, "Sasha and I have something to tell you." He nodded.

Kim's face changed from bewildered to an expression of concern. "Is everything alright?" she asked.

Payson hesitated. In her eyes, yes, everything was more than alright. But would her mother see it that way? "Yes," Sasha said earnestly. "Everything is _more_ than alright, and although immediately you might not think so, Payson and I are both very happy." He spoke her thoughts, as usual.

"But then why do you look so pale, sweetheart?" Kim reached out and touched her daughter's cheek. Payson caught her reflection in her mother's reading glasses. Wow, she _was _pale. Her face looked like snow, white chalk against the dark tones of the couch she was sitting on.

"Listen, Mom," Payson said with her eyes looking very sincere. She took a deep breath. _It's not going to get done until you do it, Payson. _"Sasha and I have tried for months to avoid each other as much as possible, because whenever we came face to face all we saw in one another was something that we wanted desperately but could never have." Payson's stomach churned and clenched in fear. She had never felt this terrified, not even when she fell off the bars at Nationals and heard her back crunch like a pretzel beneath her. Kim's eyebrows shot up like a rocket.

"Um…okay?" she said hesitantly. "That's not what I was expecting."

Payson went on. "I know. This wasn't expected. This wasn't _wanted, _even. All I ever wanted was to be an Olympic champion, and these feelings put my dream in jeopardy. I know this, but I also know that Sasha is worth it. When I kissed Sasha that night we stayed late training for Worlds Trials, I didn't just have a little school girl's crush on him. When I went into a room, I looked to see if he was there. When he was, all I wanted was to be near him. He was the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep, all I dreamt about, and the first thought I had when I woke up in the morning. When he took me to the ballet, I thought for the first time that making a full comeback from breaking my back was possible, but every time I looked at him, I felt like crying because I knew that he would never feel anything for me remotely similar to the way I felt for him, and even if he did, neither of us would admit it to ourselves or each other. All my life the only thing I've ever wanted was an Olympic gold medal or four of them if I was good enough. I thought that telling Sasha the things I'd been feeling would completely ruin my chances. The night I kissed him, though, I _felt _good enough. Sasha makes me feel like anything I strive to do I can achieve so long as he's with me. He's the one person in my life who has never hurt me, will always believe in me, and look out for my best interest. You can't tell me that he's doing to me what Max did to Becca. It isn't true. We aren't doing anything dangerous, or illegal, or wrong. Max was using Becca. Sasha is not using me."

"How can you know he isn't using you, Payson? You're seventeen years old! You're too innocent, too…"

"…naïve?" Payson finished for her. "You know that isn't true. If I was naïve, I wouldn't be a gymnast. Gymnasts can't be naïve. We have to be attentive of all our surroundings and completely aware of our limits. Sasha and I are not progressing too quickly. We went to see a psychologist so we could get a professional's opinion on our situation. He told us that so long as we refrained on anything sexual until after the Olympics, which I _always_ intended on doing even before I fell in love with Sasha, then he saw no reason why we couldn't be together…"

"Payson," Sasha interjected. "May I say something?"

"Be _patient_." Payson gave him a look. Kim looked like she was fighting a smile. Payson took that to be a very good sign.

Sasha held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, go ahead."

"So, in conclusion, this love that I have for Sasha is never going to leave, and I don't want it to. If you tell us we can't be together, it won't do any good. I will never fall out of love with him, and I know he feels the same." She looked over to Sasha, and nodded her head once.

"My turn?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Kim," Sasha said, being sure to make very good eye contact, "I love your daughter more than I will ever be able to say. I resisted acknowledging this for a long time, because I never wanted to hurt her or her career. That is a big reason why I fled to Bucharest. I never want to cause her any pain." Kim looked like she appreciated this, but was very reluctant to admit it. "You and I have been friends since we met. I admired you and Mark in the wonderful way you have dealt with Payson's career. Lots of parents I've met over the years either have trouble coming to terms with the fact that their daughter is not normal, she is a champion, or they abuse their daughter's talent and milk as much money as they can out of it. You do neither." Kim noticed that Sasha did not call Payson a child; he called her Kim's daughter, which would be true no matter how old she got.

"Everything Payson said is very true. I do not use her. I see her as an equal. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met and will ever meet. When she kissed me, I only pulled away because I was afraid of harming her. Payson brings out a side of me that very little people see. I have cried in front of her more times than I have in front of my own parents. We share a bond that very little have. She astonishes me more every day when she finishes my sentences, immediately races to her friends' sides when they need her, the way she has so much dignity and poise in whatever she does. When I saw her grab her ankle at Worlds, I had never been so frustrated and scared. Here I have been, trying so hard not to cause her any pain, and here she is, hurting over something I had no control over. Then when she insisted on doing her vault with a one foot landing, I fell in love with her all over again. She is so brave; she makes me want to be a better person. Payson actually compared our relationship to the song you and Mark danced to at your wedding…"

"_In my Life_?" Kim asked, surprised.

"Yes, and I completely agree with her. We both care deeply about lots of different places, people, and things, but all that love combined doesn't compare to the way we love each other. I intend to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to marry her. Not now, of course, I realize she is much younger than I am, but some day, once we are both ready, me mentally, and her physically. I also realize that you might worry about me being biased in training. Since we confessed that we loved one another, that hasn't been an issue, and I intend for it to stay that way…"

"What about Summer?" Kim interrupted. Payson let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Of course Kim would want to know about her best friend eventually, but for that to be her first concern…Payson didn't know whether to be relieved or hurt.

"What about her?" Sasha didn't bat an eyelash.

"Didn't you love her at one point?" Kim demanded.

"No," Sasha responded. "No, Kim, I never did. To me Summer was like what I thought I could never have with Payson. I was only with her because I liked being around her as a friend, and I knew she cared for me, so I figured if I could not have the one I loved, why not have the one who loved me? That is not something I am proud of."

Kim looked stern. "You broke my best friend's heart and now you want to marry my underage daughter?"

"Yes, Kim, I do want to marry her, but not while she is still underage. When we are ready, I will come back and ask for Mark's consent. Of course we will tell him before that," he added quickly. "I was hoping to tell him right after he returns from Minnesota."

Kim waved him off. "I'll tell him. He'll be less upset with me."

Payson raised her eyebrows. Sasha saw the resemblance between them for the first time. It wasn't in their traits, more their characteristics. "Does that mean…_you _aren't upset?"

"Of course I am. I'm madder than I've ever been my whole life, but Payson is right, I can't do anything about it. You're still going to feel the way you feel no matter what I say. And, honestly, Sasha, we are friends. I feel a little betrayed, but there are so many jerks in the world that my daughter could've fallen for that would've run right over her heart on their bad boy motorcycle and right on to another girl. You won't do that to her. You're a good person, or else you wouldn't be my friend."

"I do have a motorcycle," Sasha pointed out.

Kim's lips tightened. "Don't let Payson anywhere near it," she ordered.

Sasha laughed. "Yes, ma'am," he promised.

"Don't call me ma'am! The fact that you're going to be my son-in-law one day makes me feel old enough. You've called me Kim forever, and that's how it'll _be_ forever."

"Yes, Kim."

"That's better. Now all I have to worry about is how my husband is going to react…"

Payson visibly grimaced.

Kim smiled and spread her arms wide. "Welcome to that family, Sasha."


	22. Panic Attack

**AN: I know it's a little short, I'm sorry! The next chapter will be longer. Are you guys going to watch the Teen Choice Awards to see if MIOBI wins? I sure am! I'm hoping and praying for a third season…fingers crossed! **

Tuesday morning Payson bent over to tie her shoe laces and Lauren had accidentally tripped over her, which really was her own fault. "Oh my God, Payson, please, be a _little_ self aware! You make me want to kill myself," she yelled. "Your fifteen minutes of fame are over, so stop acting like you run the world! I'm done with you! Don't you have any respect for me? You would be lost without my beam, and you know it!"

"I'm sorry…" Payson started to say, but Lauren was having none of it, walking away in a huff. She turned to Kaylie. "What did I do to make her so mad at me?"

Kaylie's eyes looked puffy, and she was frowning already, which hadn't been a good sign. "You need to start looking out for people other than yourself, Payson," she sniffled, walking away hugging herself tight. Payson looked after both of them, and she had wanted to cry, but no tears came to her. She had never been a crier, no matter whether or not it would make her feel better.

Later that day Payson's bars had been terrible, because she fell so behind on them while she was training for Russia. No amount of work or effort would fix them and Sasha was nowhere to be seen. Payson had figured he was working with the non elite, and she didn't blame him. It was probably so hard to try to have a personal relationship with all of his gymnasts, and just because he loved her didn't mean he could neglect the others. She understood this, so why did she feel so empty, so hollow? _Whatever, _she had thought to herself. _You need to get it together, Payson, and that's something you need to do on your own, without Sasha. _

Payson had gone back to work on her bars, but after one particularly bad fall she got so afraid she gave up. She was in constant fear that she was going to put herself or her back in danger, which made her frustrated because she knew not to be afraid, ever, because if you were scared it was more likely something was going to happen to you.

She decided to do some Pilates to get her mind back on track. Her tabletop was unsteady, and the one hundreds made her abs burn so hard no amount of determination or mental coaxing would ease the pain. _It has to hurt, Payson, or it's not working, _she reminded herself. She did twice the amount of Pilates than usual, and then she still didn't feel ready to get back on bars so she did five more exercises to get everything on the right path.

Payson went to the restroom, and when she caught her reflection in the mirror her heart almost stopped. Since when had her stomach stopped being flat? When had that happened? That couldn't have been possible! She went in a stall and pulled down her leotard, pinching her stomach in her hands. Had she gained weight? That was preposterous! Her back was fixed, she was training regularly again, and she wasn't supposed to grow! _I'm five feet four inches already, I can't grow anymore! Ivanka is what, four foot ten? _

Her panic attack only increased in intensity when she pinched her hips and all over her body, feeling the fat between her fingers. _It's all in your head; _she had tried to persuade herself. _Sasha will make you feel better._

Sasha. She needed Sasha. Sasha, Sasha, Sasha, Sasha, was all that was buzzing through her head like a swarm of bees as she readjusted her leotard and raced around the gym like a maniac trying to find him. She stopped suddenly, realizing that he was probably in the exact place she hadn't looked yet, his office.

The steps had never been climbed so fast. Payson blazed up them and into the small little room. There he was, at his desk, humming away a song that made her completely forget what she had been worried about. "I have been down there, freaking out, and you have been plucking along up here humming _Barbie Girl _to your merry little self?_" _

"I have not," he replied defensively. "That, Payson Keeler, was Frank Sinatra." She rolled her eyes, not believing him. "What's wrong?" he asked, getting up from his seat.

"I…" Payson trailed off, the words having trouble forming. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I think I might have…grown."

"What? But that's impossible," Sasha discouraged. "Well…I guess it isn't _impossible…_but very unlikely."

"I gained weight then," Payson insisted.

"How can you be sure?"

"Sasha, my stomach used to be _flat, _don't you remember me in a bathing suit? No bulge," she reminded him. "Now the leotard that's fit me for years is too tight, and I feel like a giant I'm so much _bigger _than everyone else!"

"Before Emily got pregnant she was much taller than you," Sasha said, sounding skeptical. "There's no harm in measuring you, though, I suppose."

"And weighing me, please, Sasha, I have to know," Payson pleaded.

"Well, alright, but Payson, you look perfect to me." He wrapped her in a hug.

"Sasha, you're biased." She pulled away.

"I know," he said, smiling, "but anyone here would agree." He laid a hand on her stomach and frowned. "It seems pretty flat to me, and even if it wasn't, it wouldn't matter so long as it wasn't holding you back."

"I had a lot of trouble with bars today," she pointed out.

"You didn't yesterday. This isn't something that happens overnight."

"Please, just weigh me?" she begged.

"If it'll make you feel better."

They made their way down to where the scale was. Payson stepped on and squeezed her eyes tight. "One hundred twelve," Sasha said softly to her, sounding cocky.

"I told you!" she exclaimed.

"Payson," he said gently, "that's two pounds. It's not a big deal. You're in the age where you should be finished growing, but because of the gymnastics you're prevented, so it's more like you're thirteen, smaller than you will be after you stop training. It's normal to gain a little weight here and there, it's only natural."

"But my stomach…"

"All in your head," he assured her, "just like it was with Kaylie. She was always just fine, but in her mind she seemed bigger than she was. Don't let that happen to you, Payson. Do you remember the fashion show?"

"Of course," she whispered. "It was the first time you ever called me beautiful."

"Watching you walk down that runway with your mother, I had already fallen in love with you. But it was the first time that I considered marrying you."

Payson shivered. "You know," she said slowly, acutely aware that his hand was traveling up and down her arm, "this is the third time you've mentioned marrying me, but you never actually asked me if _I_ wanted to marry _you_ some day."

Sasha smiled. "Do you want to marry me some day, Payson?"

She smiled up at him, beaming. "Why, Sasha Belov," she said in her best imitation of a Southern Belle. "I thought you would never ask."


	23. Not a chapter

This isn't a chapter. I'm sorry I haven't been very good about updating, but I'm going back to school soon and I've been busy trying to make my last days of summer worthwhile.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all that I am going to EUROPE until the 24th of August, so until then there won't be any new chapters, and probably later than that too because of the jet lag! I've never been to Europe before so this is so exciting!

All the best until the 24th,

crayon115


	24. Future Plans and Dating Sites

Kaylie and Payson were eating lunch together at the Rock on a Wednesday afternoon. Kaylie picked up her sandwich and opened the bread. "Ugh, why did I make a tomato sandwich?" she groaned.

"I thought you loved tomatoes," said Payson.

"I used to, but my mom is in this gardening phase and all we ever eat now is tomatoes, tomatoes, and more tomatoes. I'm sick of them, so I figured I'd just put all of them on this sandwich and then we wouldn't have to eat them anymore, but they're the last thing I want right now." Kaylie slammed her sandwich back on the table in a huff. "Whatever. I'll just get some ramen noodles from the vending machine."

Her friend raised her eyebrows. "That's hardly lunch."

"Yeah, well, the sandwich wasn't the only thing I brought. I've got a side salad and some almonds…"

Payson held up in her hands in surrender. "Okay, fine by me, I'm just saying. People are really sensitive about your eating now that you've announced to the public about your recovery. If you show the slightest sign of relapse Sasha gets concerned, and the last time he got concerned you almost didn't go to Worlds."

Kaylie sighed in exasperation. "I know. I'm not completely better yet, and I don't think I'll ever be totally recovered, but people act like I'm _still_ sick, even after my floor at Worlds. They're so cautious around me. It makes me want to scream. I'm still the same person I was, and I'm not starving myself anymore. I don't get why they can't treat me the same as they did when I was just Kaylie, the National Champion, instead of Kaylie the anorexic girl. It makes me think I'm not doing the right thing, not approaching it the right way…"

"Kay, I get that it's weird for you, and I know the NGO has been really hard on you. Still, people don't know how to react. Eating disorders aren't uncommon for gymnasts, and people know that, but it's one of those things that people don't talk about. You discussing the issue so openly is uncomfortable for them. I think it's stupid they're treating you differently, but you got a massive amount of support from fans at Worlds, and that's great. How many autographs did you sign, again?" Payson tried hard to make her feel better.

Kaylie's lips quirked upwards. "Several," she admitted.

Payson pointed at her. "There's your answer right there. If people want Kaylie Cruz's autograph that must mean she's doing something right, right? So don't change your approach. If you keep working hard and keeping all your apparatuses up to shape, the NGO will leave you alone. Well, everyone on the NGO except for Emily that is."

Now Kaylie really was smiling. "Emily's the one person at the NGO that seems to actually be on our side."

"She's the best thing that ever happened to that board," Payson agreed.

The conversation changed. "Pay, when you said you wanted to coach after the Olympics, did you mean it?" Kaylie asked.

"Yeah," Payson answered, taking a bite of her salad.

"What about college?"

"I don't know the first thing about college," she replied.

Kaylie bit her lip. "But where would you coach?" she inquired.

Payson shrugged. "I always wanted to coach with Sasha," she admitted. "So maybe I'd apply to work here, if he wants to stay after next year."

"So that's your approach?" Kaylie asked. "Go wherever he goes?"

"Well, that's what you're doing with Austin, isn't it?" Payson responded. "I mean, you're getting married, so naturally you're going to stay together, right?"

"If it turns out that we don't get accepted to the same schools, then we'll go long distance for a while until we figure something else out, but that's unlikely since we have pretty much the exact same grades. Austin's smarter than he looks," Kaylie joked, but then her expression turned a bit more serious. "Payson, you're the last person I would expect not to go to college. Is this about the money that your parents would have to spend, because I thought Healthy Bar took care of that?"

"They did," Payson assured her, "that's not it. If I go to college, what would I study? I'd just end up coming back to gymnastics, anyway, so I don't see the point in majoring in something I'm not going to pursue after I graduate. This sport has taught me everything I need to know to be able to coach. And Sasha…"

Kaylie pointed her fork at her, not caring if it was rude. "See, that's where I'm worried. You're willing to not go to college, not getting the education you're capable of getting, just to be with him. Are you afraid you're going to lose him or something?"

"No!" Payson was appalled. "That's not it at all. I don't know why you're even suggesting that, Kaylie. You know I'm not being naïve, here. Sasha and I are just as committed as you and Austin are. I know people are expecting me to go to college after next summer. I know that's what my parents think is going to happen, but in the career path I've chosen, getting an Olympic gold medal is the same as having a college education, really, and that's my immediate goal anyway. After I get Olympic gold, it won't matter if I don't go to college. I'll have the pick of gyms all over the country to coach at."

"But Payson," Kaylie whispered. "None of us know whether or not we're going to win. What if you get injured again or something goes wrong at the Trials?"

"Kaylie, we've all worked our whole lives for this. We won gold at Worlds; we won against Russia, and China, who are two of the best teams on the planet, what makes you think we won't win the Olympics?"

"I never said that! I just think you should have a backup plan and Sasha…"

"Sasha is always going to be part of the plan, no matter what that plan is. And why are you so worried, anyway? We're going to win. Losing is not an option, and it never has been. We're part of the best team in the world and we're training nonstop for Trials. After your floor and my one foot landing on vault, the NGO would be idiots not to put us on the Olympic Team. When I broke my back, everyone wanted me to become a coach. And my two best friends' fathers own this gym. If I really wanted to work here, do you think they would hire me?"

"Of course," Kaylie said softly. "Of course they would hire you. I'm sorry, I'm just concerned because you seem to center your whole life on Sasha, and I don't want…"

"My whole life is not centered on Sasha," Payson said firmly. "It's centered on my gymnastics _and _Sasha."

"But you're keeping college in mind?"

Payson pursed her lips and thoughts for a moment. Finally, she nodded. "Yes, college is a possibility; it just wouldn't be my first choice. I'll talk it over with my parents, and Sasha. If I do go to school, Sasha could come with me if there's a gym close by where he could work. I do have applications for a couple of different places. It's always important to have options, and I do see where you're coming from. I just couldn't imagine leaving gymnastics for even a year."

Kaylie nodded. "I know what you mean, but we are so lucky to be able to have to opportunity to go to college. I think we'd be fools not to take advantage of that," she replied.

Becca entered the cafeteria, a brown bag in her hands. She scanned the room, looking for a place to sit. Most of her former friends pretended not to notice her, but every so often they'd glance her way and lean in to whisper to each other. Payson saw the burning red in her sister's cheeks and a protective rage boiled up inside her. Who did these girls think they were, anyway? How dare they talk about _Payson's _Becca behind her back? Her eyes caught Payson's and the younger sister shook her head slightly, as if to tell her not to bother, or maybe not to embarrass her. Payson gestured for Becca to sit with them, but she shook her head again and went to sit with the Level Ones who were usually too young and innocent to understand the rumors circulating about Becca and Max. The other girls, who had listened to the gossip, usually picked up from older sisters, collected their bags and strutted out of the room, noses in the air.

The rumors were cruel and petty, Payson thought. They said that Becca had convinced Max to cheat on Lauren. They said she had gotten pregnant with his child and had an abortion before anyone could find out. One particularly awful girl had spent all night figuring out a way to twist the story to make it sound as scandalous as possible, so her friends would actually listen to her for once. This variation claimed that Becca would call Max in the middle of the night, ordering him to tell her over and over that he loved her and showing up at his apartment unexpectedly with nothing under her coat. None of these things were true. The truth was that Becca had made a mistake in falling for Max, but the fault in the end rested on his shoulders. She was so young, and in thirty years she would use this experience as a lesson for her own children. Payson knew that Becca refused to admit Max had molested her, but that didn't make it any less true. Payson had seen it, hadn't she, and Max had practically admitted it himself, right? It was true that Becca hadn't struggled under his hold on her that night at the Rocky Awards, but the only clothes that had been shed at that time were his suit jacket and her shoes. Becca had said that he was much more serious about her than she was ready for, and she admitted he had pushed her, groped her, and that was all Payson had needed to hear.

There was still a part of Payson that slightly resented her sister for what she did not only to Lauren, but to her own pride. Becca was too smart to make a mistake like that, Payson _knew _it, and so she didn't understand how Becca had been so…_blind _to what she had been getting herself into, and all the while she must've known that she was hurting Lauren. There was no part of Payson that had even a trace of feelings left for Max, but she still found it hard to believe that she herself had been so unaware of his true character. Before Worlds Payson would've sworn on her life that Max was good and kind and possibly the sweetest boy she'd ever met. The only possible reason that Max could've had for raping her little sister was that he was trying to pretend that Becca was in fact Payson herself.

The worst part was that since all this happened Becca hadn't spoken two words to her older sister, hence not wanting to sit with her at lunch. The two shakes of her head was a sign that made Payson think maybe things could improve. This small sign of acknowledgement from Becca meant a lot to her. It was _progress. _

"She still isn't talking?" Kaylie asked. Payson shook her head, wondering if Kaylie had superpowers. She always seemed to guess exactly what Payson was thinking. "I'm sure she'll come round, Pay. She'll realize how lucky she is to have you, and she'll open up. If I was going through what she's going through, I'd wish I had a sister. I can't exactly confide in Leo. He acts like I have no brain half the time, like just because he got a perfect score on his SATs and I chose to stay in gymnastics he has an automatic right to belittle me."

Payson thought about this for a moment. She never really thought about it that way. Having an older brother was probably great in a lot of ways, but given that Kaylie didn't have the best relationship with her mom, she had basically no one to ask for advice, no one to relate to her in her family. _Do I belittle Becca? _Payson wondered. She guessed she did. For the first time she realized how her younger sister must feel. Looking at it from Becca's point of view, Payson probably acted like she ran the world, talking about nothing but how she was going to be Olympic world champ one day and how crucial it was for her to win. Becca wasn't elite, and she probably never would be. She probably had to struggle to get any of her parent's attention, to get them to talk about anything but gymnastics. Payson had always thought that her sister's interest in shoes, magazines and pro/con lists about whether to spend her allowance on shoes or handbags was ridiculous and stupid compared to her own ambitions. Then she realized that it wasn't stupid, it was a part of who Becca _was,_ and that was just as important as gymnastics, which had always been a main element to who Payson was.

"I can't believe I never thought about it more from her perspective," said Payson. "It's like this whole time I've been so focused on how angry I was with Max and how I wished Becca had opened her eyes and stopped being so naïve. Now all I can think about is how she must feel, like she has no one to talk to. Being her sister instead of her brother might help things, but I can still see why she doesn't want to talk to me."

"Why couldn't she talk to you?" Kaylie asked.

"Because she thought I wouldn't understand, and she was probably right."

Kaylie looked at Payson for a moment, her eyebrows creased in thoughtfulness. "Well, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to let her know that she can confide in me. I'm going to tell her that I do understand how Max can be, and there was a time that I…" she hesitated.

"What is it?"

"I considered sleeping with him myself," she admitted, "before I thought how wrong that would be, since I wasn't really in love with him, and how much I really needed to focus, especially since Worlds was so close. But I won't talk about Worlds. I'll leave gymnastics out of it."

"I think that sounds like a good idea. You guys used to be really close, and I think you need each other now more than ever with Olympics Trials coming up for you and Max for her."

Lunch ended, and everyone gathered their things and headed back into the main gym for afternoon training. Payson headed over to the floor, doing her old Worlds routine to warm up and then her Russia routine for practice. She and Sasha had agreed that it would be a part of her performance at the Olympics Trials. Kaylie got ready for bars. Kelly, who had abandoned her usual devil horns for a high bun, was talking with Lauren. They were both laughing, Kelly clutching her stomach, Lauren wheezing. They both glanced in the direction of the office in the midst of their fit, and exchanged a look; both hoping Sasha hadn't heard them.

Unfortunately for them, he had. Leaning over the railing he yelled, "Girls! Does this _look_ like the mall to you? Save your jibber jabber for later and get to work!" Disappearing back into his office, he sighed. Work had been stressful lately. There was a young Level Three athlete he had been having a lot of trouble with. Her name was Brandy Simmons, and she refused to speak to him ever since he suggested maybe going back to Level Two for a while until her skills improved. He had kept her with the threes until she cooled down, and then he hoped they could compromise. The real difficulty was trying to coach her. She practiced on her own, and whenever he attempted to give her pointers she ignored him. He checked over his list again. Carly Michaels, a girl of eleven who was extremely ambitious for her age, needed help on bars, Bill Hawthorne was having a lot of trouble with his new rings routine, and then there was Kelly Parker's beam dismount which she hadn't completely mastered…

He looked up at the sound of someone entering the room. Summer looked sheepish as her high heels clicked their way over to her desk. Things had been extremely awkward since her drunken visit to his trailer. "Um…h-h-hi…" she mumbled, frantically rearranging her collection of sticky notes until they were in a perfect rainbow spectrum to calm herself down.

"Summer, hello," Sasha greeted calmly. She flushed. _Why was he the one acting so mature? _She fancied herself the responsible one, the real adult who was like a motherly role model for the girls at the Rock, yet there she was acting like a star struck thirteen year old in the midst of a really fabulous music group, like K.C. and the Sunshine Band or whatever it was the kids liked those days.

"How are you?" she asked tentatively, clicking her computer to life and opening her email where she had a new message from her mother. Summer internally squealed. Her mother always had such cool things to say.

Sasha's eyebrows rose ever so slightly. She felt herself close to swooning. Why did his eyebrows have to be so perfect? Why did his face have to be so attractive? "You know how it is," said Sasha. For a moment she could feel her insides clenched in fear and mortification. _Had she just said that thing about his totally attractive face out loud? _"The girls have been so tense lately now that we're in the home stretch, and it's like they're all realizing at the same time that if they do one wrong thing at the trials they won't be going to London, and it's all they think about when they train. I really have to get them out of that mindset, but some of them are so obsessed they almost look like robots, and particularly on floor I can't get them to loosen up and at least look like they're having fun, which you know is a crucial element in order the judges to be able to enjoy themselves and their performance, which leads to higher scores," he continued, not seeing the look on her face, which was a mixture of elation and relief. He rifled through some papers on his desk, and then opened his laptop to see Payson's face smiling from his screensaver. He was instantly in a better mood. "I just need to remind them why they do gymnastics in the first place and then we'll be in a good place." Then he looked up and remembered who he was talking to.

"I'm sorry, you probably didn't understand any of that…" he trailed off.

She hadn't understood, but she tried her best to look offended. "Oh, no, Sasha, I know _exactly_ what you mean!" she cried. "I do work here too, you know!"

"Yes," he consoled her like he was coaxing a five year old to stop crying, which she hated, "I'm sorry. I do know."

"And I hate the way you're talking to me, too," she huffed. "Just because I can never trust myself to be alone with you again for fear of betraying my true self, shunning my faith, being disloyal to my savior and my one true love, Jesus Christ, and giving myself to _you_ instead, a man who is only appealing to me because I can't have him, doesn't give you the right to speak to me as though I am beneath you. I am a strong, righteous young woman and although I live an admittedly PG life, I should be admired because I do not give in to the vulgarity and obscenities our society thrusts upon us today, I resist!" she boomed.

"Summer, don't worry. I don't think of you as beneath me. I think it is good of you to stick to your beliefs," Sasha assured her. "But you can't expect me to speak to you the same as I always have after you…threw yourself at me. It's awkward."

"I most certainly did _not…" _she started, but he silenced her by shaking his head and opening his book. She made a noise of disbelief. "You're going to read instead of listening to my defense?"

"Yes," he answered, not looking up.

"That is so unfair!" she cried.

"Well, unfortunately, life is unfair and my attention span is short," Sasha quipped.

"We're _done_," she told him, disgusted.

That he did look up at. "Summer," he said slowly, "how can he possibly be finished if we never even began?"

"We were…close, once, but that is over," she said, clicking open a new tab. "And now, I am going to act a little desperate."

He raised his eyebrows in the way that normally made her blush, but she ignored the incoming swoon and announced, "I am going to make an online dating profile as my way of getting over you!"

"What?" he asked. Sasha bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"I am going to make an account on !"

Sasha couldn't wait to see Payson's face when he told her.


	25. Doubles and Returns

**AN: Sorry if the gymnastics is off, I get all my information from Google. Thank you to all my reviewers!**

Payson narrowed her eyes. "I don't see why I can't do the double Tsukahara." Her back was facing him, hands on her hips. Even from behind she looked menacing. Payson's eyes bore into the vault, as if she stared at it threatening enough it would somehow convince Sasha that she was capable.

"A single will be fine." Sasha tried to look reassuring, but to no prevail.

"I can do it," Payson argued. "I can do a single in my sleep. I want a challenge."

"The Olympic Trials are nothing to fool around with," he cautioned, although he instantly regretted saying anything. She spun around so quickly he had to blink twice before coming to his senses. "Payson," he warned.

"Do not _Payson _me!" she spat. "And do not accuse me of '_fooling around.' _That is the last thing I have ever done and will ever do. This is my life, Sasha! My entire life comes down to this trial. Mess up once, and I won't be going to London." Her hand trembled a little bit. "I'm terrified, Sasha, but I refuse to play it safe. I need to wow them. I need to completely knock their socks off, and the single isn't going to do it. It's crucial I am the best, you have to know that. I have so much to prove to Healthy Bar and to my parents and the NGO..." She trailed off, twisting her silver band around her finger. It had become a nervous habit. Her eyes found his and he could see the desperation behind him. "Sasha, please. Doing a single won't be enough to get me on the team."

"I know you don't fool around, I apologize. I just want you to know that no one expects you to do more than you physically can manage. Your back can't support the type of moves that you want it to. You are an artistic gymnast. Your vault will be stunning, I promise, but it won't be in the way you're imagining."

"My back can support a double."

"Yes," Sasha relented, "but if there is any chance that it won't work out, I don't want to test our luck."

"You think I won't be able to land it." It wasn't a question.

"I think you can, but you only get two chances. If you don't land one…"

"I can land it. I know it's a risk, but Sasha, if I do the single, I definitely won't go to London. There won't even be a chance."

"You don't know that."

Payson didn't look happy. "A single won't make me stand out." She wasn't ready to give up yet.

"All you need to do is impress the judges, and if my vision for this is realized, I promise you will do more than impress them."

"I better," she grumbled. Suddenly an idea took form in her head. "I propose a deal," she announced, her back straightening. "I show you a double Tsukahara. If I stick the landing, we do it my way. If I stumble or hop even the slightest little bit, we figure out a compromise."

Sasha shook his head. "No bargaining, Payson, like you said, this is your future. We're not going to make this a gamble."

Payson crossed her arms across her chest. "You aren't giving me any choice in the matter! What am I supposed to think? If you think I can't do the double Tsukahara, what makes you think I can go to the Olympics?"

"I think that you can do it, I just don't think it's worth risking."

"Payson?" she heard Kim call from the office. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Payson glared at Sasha and pointed an accusatory finger at him, jabbing it into his chest. "This," she snapped, "is not over." She spun on her heels and marched up to the office where her mother was waiting with an unopened letter in her hands. "What is it?" Payson asked, her voice revealing her bad mood to her mother.

"I should be asking you that," Kim responded, "for two reasons. One, because this letter is addressed to you, and I have no idea what this is or who it is from." She gave the letter to her daughter, "And two, because you are grumpy, and I want to know why."

"I am not grumpy," Payson scoffed. Kim raised her eyebrows. Her daughter sighed. "Okay, fine, maybe a little bit. But only because Sasha…"

Kim started at the sound of his name. She pulled Payson inside the office. "Did you two have a fight?" she murmured.

Payson shook her head. "Nothing less than normal, really, he just doesn't think I can do the double Tsukahara, so he's insisting I do a single!"

"And you aren't happy," said Kim.

"Well, who would be happy?" Payson exclaimed. "You know just as well as I do that the vault I show at the Trials is the most important vault I've ever done. A single anything won't be enough."

"Payson, are you feeling pressured by the Healthy Bar deal, because…"

"No! That has nothing to do with it. Not all my problems were caused by that _deal! _This is all that I've ever worked for, and Sasha's asking me to throw it all away."

"He is the coach, Pay; don't you think you should trust him?" Kim asked. Payson was silent. Her mother's expression turned from concern to alarm. "You don't trust him? There's a reason that you shouldn't trust him, isn't there? He did something…"

"NO!" Payson exclaimed, a little too loudly. She lowered her voice. "I do trust Sasha. I trust him more than anything, but sometimes he's right, and sometimes he's wrong, like he was wrong to try to keep Kaylie out of Worlds." Kim nodded. "And I believe that taking a risk and doing the double is going to get me to the Olympics. I believe it more than anything, but I don't think he's going to budge."

"I think you have to stand your ground, Pay. The only person more stubborn than him is you. I think you can convince him." Kim suddenly frowned. "Wait, have you ever done a double Tsukahara before?"

Payson shrugged. "Well, yeah, but never in competition."

"Is it safe?" Kim asked.

Payson narrowed her eyes. "Nothing in gymnastics is safe, Mom."

"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?" Kim said sarcastically. Payson smiled cheekily. "You know what I mean, Payson Keeler. Does Sasha think the odds of you getting hurt are bigger than usual if you do this double?"

"He didn't say that. He said it wasn't worth the risk, but I thought he meant the risk of me screwing it up and ruining my Olympic dreams, not injuring myself."

"I'll talk to him. But, Pay, if this is really dangerous…"

"It's not like I'm asking for Cortisone, Mom. This isn't hazardous. Sasha just doesn't believe…"

"In you?" her mother interrupted. "Of course he does! He was the only one who believed you would ever be a gymnast again. He just wants you to go to the Olympics so badly; he forgets what you're capable of and focuses on what will just be enough."

"You're right, but Mom, I can't 'just be enough', I have to be the best!"

"I understand. Sasha has to know that, not me." Kim gripped her daughter's arm. Payson sighed. "Look, if you think he'll listen to me, I'll talk to him," the mother added. "I know this is really important to you, and even though Sasha is your coach…" she trailed off.

"Not even Sasha can be right all the time," Payson finished.

"That's true. Alright, I will speak to him. Sasha!" she called, opening the door to the office and getting his attention. "Can I talk to you?" Payson took this as her cue to leave, the letter Kim gave her unopened in her hand.

She figured she could just open it in the main gym area, but when she saw the handwriting on the envelope she froze. Her eyes traveled around the gym, looking for one particular face in the crowd, but she didn't see it. Payson relaxed a little. _Good_, she thought, _because the last thing I need right now is…_

But then he covered her eyes. "Guess who?" Nicky Russo asked. She would know his voice anywhere.

"The guy who sold me illegal Cortisone and then kissed me," she immediately blurted out. The hands went away and she blinked a couple of times so her vision would stop being so blurry.

She felt queasy. Why was he back?

"Correct," Nicky said, and she turned to see a lopsided smile on his face. He looked at the letter in her hand. "I see that got here pretty late. I wrote to you to tell you I was coming."

Payson glared. "Ever heard of a phone?"

"You wouldn't have answered," he shot back.

"True," Payson relented, "but you would've left a message, and then I wouldn't be totally shocked right now."

"True," he said, using her words, "but how could I have known you wouldn't have deleted the message without listening to it?"

Payson ignored that. "Well, I have to do beam. How long are you going to be here?" she demanded. _Please say you're leaving right now, and then I never have to see you again…_

He spread his arms out wide. "You should probably get used to seeing me." Nicky's eyebrows went up, "How about tonight?"

"I have a boyfriend," Payson growled.

"Oh," Nicky nodded knowingly. "Him?" he asked, pointing his head towards Max Spencer. "I saw a picture of you hugging him at Worlds online."

"No! Not him! Never!" she exclaimed.

Payson saw Sasha coming towards them and instantaneously relaxed. "Hey!" she called. "Did you know about this?" she demanded, but Nicky could hear gentleness in her voice that had not been included in the venomous tone she used to speak to him. What was going on here? What had he done that had been so wrong?

"No," Sasha said to Payson, narrowing his eyes. "Nicky, what are you doing here?"

"Gosh, no wonder no one sends letters anymore," the younger man said, shaking his head. "Yours must've gotten lost in the mail. I'm training here now, and you're taking me to Olympics Trials." Payson saw the surprise in Sasha's face and relaxed even more. He hadn't known. He didn't arrange this. Hopefully, he would tell Nicky to take a hike.

"I need to speak to your parents," Sasha said sternly. "Where are they?"

"They'll be by tomorrow to take care of some more paperwork, and they'll be bringing the contracts they already signed at my old gym," Nicky explained, never taking his eyes off Payson. Sasha felt a protectiveness ripple through him like a stone hitting the water. He inched closer to Payson, not enough to raise suspicion, but enough that Nicky had to look his new coach in the eye.

"We'll speak then, okay, Nicky? I'm afraid this isn't prom, I have gymnasts to train, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Sasha's eyes bore into the boy. He didn't know why, but Payson seemed to resent him, and that made Sasha resent him. That wouldn't be fair once Nicky started training, but for now whatever about him was making Payson uncomfortable had to go. He reached out his hand for Nicky to shake. "See you then," Sasha calmly told him.

"See you then, Coach B!" Nicky exclaimed. Sasha winced.

"Just Sasha, please," he requested.

"Will do," Nicky agreed. He turned to Payson. "I'll be sure to run into you again tomorrow, okay sweetheart?"

"I doubt it," she said, mock friendliness in her voice, "but say hello to your parents for me…oh wait, I never did meet them, did I?"

He grinned back at her. "I'll be sure to do that." Once Nicky was out the door, Sasha turned to Payson, and she could see the concern and the fierceness in his eyes. She stepped back and turned to him so no one would suspect anything.

"Do I get to do the double?" she asked first. Sasha laughed. Of course that would be the first thing on her mind, when all he wanted to know was what Nicky had done to her. "Why are you laughing? This is very important to me, Sasha. I can't just be _enough_; I have to be the best! If I'm going to win a gold medal at the actual Olympics, I have to wow them at the Trials, and I can't do that with a…"

"…single, I know," Sasha assured her. "I know, but can we please talk about Nicky first?" Payson looked around to see if anyone was watching, and then pulled him into the stairwell, nervously twisting her band around her finger. "Love, if he hurt you, I don't have to train him. I can deny his application, but I'll need a solid reason. If you don't want him here, you have to tell me why."

"I don't want him here, but that doesn't really matter." Payson sighed, "I can't tell you not to train him just because…"

"Just because of what, Payson?" he asked gently.

"Do you really want to know?" she inquired.

"Of course," Sasha assured her.

"Alright," she said, taking a deep breath and beginning.

"Before I realized how much I loved you, before I broke my back, Nicky would tell me things about how I was the only girl who was so dedicated to gymnastics, and how much he loved that about me. He understood why I wanted the Cortisone, and he sold it to me illegally. I threw it out, but I still really liked him. After Nationals when I was in the brace he kissed me, and I thought we would be together like Lauren and Carter were. I thought he believed I would do gymnastics again, but obviously he didn't." Rare tears were welling up in Payson's eyes, and she brushed them away quickly so Sasha wouldn't see them. He did, though, and he leaned in and hugged her. "Then he left," she finished. "I had feelings for him when I broke my back, and he kissed me, and then he left. I don't have any feelings _left_ for him, but I don't like seeing him again. It brings back a lot of unpleasant memories. I was so jealous of Kaylie then, because they were the gymnastics power couple to the media and no one expected me to ever set foot in a gym again. That's why it meant so much to me when he kissed me. I thought it meant he would be there for me in that bad time, but he wasn't. He didn't even say goodbye."

"I know how you must've felt in that situation," Sasha consoled her, thinking of Summer, "and you know how much I love you. I'll never do to you what he did."

"No, you won't, but you can still take Nicky to the Olympics. He's good. He's really good. He listens, and I know you liked training him before"

"I don't know if I can do that, Love." Sasha ran a hand through his hair. "I know I'm supposed to be unbiased, but he left you when you were at your most vulnerable, and the last time he was here he brought so much media attention that none of you need right now. I did like training him before. He works hard, but I don't like anyone in my gym that's going to bring that much drama into my elite's life, especially this close to Olympics Trials. Kaylie will probably resent him, too, won't she? They didn't get along well last time, either, and reporters would want to ask her all these questions relating to him and her eating disorder, if they're connected at all…" Sasha sighed. "I can't believe how much I didn't know about you girls before. All of you have broken the rules at least twice!"

"Twice?" she asked.

"Don't you remember the keg party?" He laughed. "I tortured you." Payson groaned at the memory. "Well, anyway, I'll have to talk to his parents…probably without him in the room."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Payson cautioned.

"Why do you think so? I thought you said you'd never met them?"

"There's a reason for that, at least according to Nicky."

"What reason?" he asked.

"Nicky told me his parents are worse than Kelly Parker's."


	26. Parents and Training

The next day, Sasha got what Payson was talking about.

"You dare say these things about _my son?_" Mrs. Russo roared.

"He is one of the top men's gymnasts in the world and you refuse to train him?" Mr. Russo demanded, pointing an accusatory finger in Sasha's direction.

"If you would just listen…" Sasha started.

"No, you listen, _bud," _the mother spat, standing and getting in Sasha's face so they were inches apart. Her eyes were scrunched up in rage, and when she spoke, her voice sounded dangerous and low. "Our Nicholas is a brilliant, talented, kind, sweet, selfless, intelligent, handsome, charismatic, hard working, wonderful, athletic, and strong _boy. _You would be an idiot not to train him! Don't you remember how great he was here last time?"

"Do you? Because I do," the father added, "Nicky was spectacular in this gym. He was wonderful, and he never questioned your judgment. At the time I thought this was a good thing, but now I'm not so sure!"

"_Who do you think you are?"_

"_Why won't you train our son?"_

"_If you think he's too friendly with girls, then that's your problem, not his!"_

"_You're an imbecile if you think we won't complain to the parent's board!" _

"_I hate your accent! We are _never _taking Nicky to England."_

"Actually, I'm Romanian…" Sasha tried to say.

"_WHATEVER!" _they hollered.

"Mr. and Mrs. Russo, Nicky is a great gymnast. My concern is, however, that this gym is not the right fit for him. There is a lot of bad blood between him and my other elite, particularly the girls, and the last thing they need this close to the Olympics Trials is the drama that a new face brings to the table, no matter who it is!"

"Well, your elite need to get over themselves if they're picking fights with _our _Nicky," Mrs. Russo sniffed.

"Absolutely, you should get a handle on these girls! They need to be committed to their own sport and not interfere with Nicholas's career. He will go to the Olympics and you should feel honored that we placed our trust in you. You're a moron if you don't train him!" Mr. Russo pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"My athletes are very committed. They have to be to have this lifestyle. That's another thing that worries me about Nicky," said Sasha.

There was a collective gasp between the two parents. "You did not just insult our son!" Mrs. Russo huffed, a hand over her heart.

"I don't wonder about Nicky's commitment to gymnastics. I worry about his commitment to our gym. What happened to Denver?"

"Imbeciles," scoffed Mr. Russo. "They had the audacity to suggest that Nicky needed a new rings routine. Can you imagine?"

"Well," Sasha reasoned, "_did _he need a new rings routine?"

"Absolutely not," said the father. "They were just being incompetent."

"Then we put our money into a gym out of state, some idiotic facility called _Sundale," _Mrs. Russo had venom dripping from her words, and she spat out the name Sundale as though she had tasted some bad fish. Sasha nearly choked.

"Sundale Gymnastics in _California?" _he asked in disbelief.

"Yes, insolent people those fools were," Mrs. Russo scoffed, "they were complete morons!"

"Sundale Gymnastics has produced the most Olympic athletes of any gym in the country ever! The coaches are gold medalists themselves and the equipment is top notch! My coach Nikolai trained there for two months before moving back to Romania, and he had only positive things to say. The gymnasts have to go through multiple grueling auditions and pay thousands of dollars only to be put through consideration! Spots are very rare; the waiting list has hundreds of names on it. Any gymnast of mine would be out of here in a second if they even got the opportunity to train there a day! I had a gymnast once who moved to California from Romania just because Sundale was_ considering_ opening a slot for a new gymnast. What was your issue with them?" Sasha remembered being in Payson's room and seeing the posters of extremely famous gymnasts who had trained there, and only slightly worse ones who had reportedly gone into depression after being rejected. He recalled Payson's wistful face as she thought of getting the chance to study at Sundale herself. Sasha had felt nauseas thinking about Payson, miles and miles away from him in California, but then he imagined how happy he would be for her, for her career.

"Well, for starters, they wanted Nicky to get a haircut, which was completely ridiculous!" Mrs. Russo's voice brought him back to reality.

"What?" Sasha asked.

"His hair had gotten a bit long, they were upset. It made him look groovier, if you ask me," Mr. Russo said.

"Exactly," agreed his wife. "It was only down to his shoulders! They were foolish enough to suggest that it was getting in his eyes and interfering with his routines, which of course it wasn't. And then, what did they do to us? _What did they do to us?" _

"I don't know," said Sasha, still stunned.

"Nicky had a little bit of an _encounter, _a minor infraction in those incredibly outrageous, foul, _rules _that they have there!"

"Stupid rules made by imbeciles!" boomed Mr. Russo.

"What sort of encounter?" Sasha asked with his eyebrows narrowed in skepticism.

"Nicky had become infatuated with a very lovely girl; you really should've known her, Coach Belov. She was just immaculate!" Mrs. Russo gushed. "She was a model, with these dazzling eyes and so tall, too! She was on the honor roll at her very prestigious private school, and her parents were absolutely charming!"

"I see." Sasha did not sound impressed.

"Nicky was in love! You really should've seen him when he was around her. He wanted desperately to show her his gymnastics, but the gym refused to let non members on their property! It was so foolish! So he had no choice, really. He just had to sneak her in at night." Mrs. Russo dabbed at her lipstick absentmindedly, as if that fact didn't matter in the slightest.

"Sundale is one of the most secure buildings in the history of sports," Sasha said, his eyebrows lowering even further.

"Oh, but they weren't doing anything wrong! They were just _slightly_ intoxicated, but really, who hasn't had too much of a good thing at least once when they're young? It was no big deal, actually. Nicky showed her his rings, and according to the security tapes, he was _very _impressive. That was the moment where the girl completely fell for him, if you ask me. So romantic," she sighed, "and if we hadn't refused to cut Nicky's hair she probably never would've noticed him. Good hair is very important, Coach Belov." The mother flipped her own hair over her shoulder dramatically, as if to make a point.

"What happened next?" Sasha's voice was becoming louder.

"Don't take that tone with me!" Mrs. Russo demanded.

"What happened NEXT?"

"Alright, alright, I will tell you, but please remember, good things come to those who wait, so patience, and Nicky is very good, you shall see!"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Sasha grumbled.

"Well, yes, of course, Nicky's eyes are very beautiful, too, thank you, Coach Belov! I will tell him you complimented him so nicely! Anyway, our boy became so overcome with love for the girl; he could just not contain himself! It was very sweet, his show of love for her, nothing obscene, but those Sundale fools completely overreacted and called the police. We were over there so quickly you would not believe it, and we slapped a lawsuit on them so fast they didn't know what to think and we pulled Nicky out of there no questions asked." Mrs. Russo beamed. "So, here we are! When should Nicky start training? Tomorrow, shall we say? The Olympics are very, very, soon!"

"You think I'm putting your son in our gym after that?" Sasha exclaimed.

Mr. Russo stood up. "Yes, you are," he growled. "Our son is excellent."

"Excellent at breaking the rules, so it seems." Sasha glared. "Last time Nicky trained with us he brought lots of unwanted attention on my athletes. He was involved with two of the girls against the rules and now you tell me he snuck into Sundale at night _drunk _with some girl and got arrested? Sundale, of all places, too! You two are far too inclined to think the best of your son. He is so ungrateful for all that you have given him. Do you know how much this sport means to some of these athletes? They worked their whole lives for this one chance! I used to think of Nicky as one of my most dedicated gymnasts. What happened? This seems so out of his character."

"Well, there was another…incident," Mrs. Russo said weakly. Sasha's eyebrows went up.

"Oh?"

"Yes, well, Mr. Russo had a brother that Nicky was very close to who passed away right after he left your gym. Also, at about the same time, Nicky's best friend from childhood committed suicide. A tragedy, of course, but it shouldn't be dwelled upon. The two hadn't spoken in years."

Sasha was quiet for a moment, before speaking. "I would love to have your son join us. Unfortunately I think it may be too late to train Nicky for the Olympics this summer. He'll have to wait until this cycle is over, and then we'll talk."

"This is an outrage!"

"You're an imbecile!"

"We thought so well of you! What happened to your judgment?"

"Please, Mr. and Mrs. Russo," Sasha said, holding the door out to them, "get your son some help. He needs someone to talk to."

"He most certainly does not!"

"Look at it this way. Nicky used to think everything of gymnastics. He used to tell me to get a handle on the athletes who devoted their time to anything else, and I respected him for it. But now you tell me two very important people in his life are dead, and suddenly he's dating, drinking, breaking and entering, all the things he used to spite other people for doing. Your son isn't acting like himself, and if he's not talking to you, you need to find him someone he will talk to."

"Payson Keeler," Mr. Russo immediately responded.

"What?" Sasha asked.

"You say our son needs someone he'll talk to?" Mr. Russo answered. "I don't think he needs anything more than we can give him, but you say to find him someone to speak with? Payson Keeler's the girl. Nicky hasn't stopped talking about her since we decided to have him train here. He says she's the next big thing, and he wants to work with her."

"That's true," Mrs. Russo said, nodding. "I doubt she has anything on the girl he was seeing in California, but whatever he wants I am fine with. You know the girl, Coach Belov? Do you think she'd be a suitable girlfriend for Nicky?"

"There's no dating in this gym," Sasha grumbled, voice tight.

"Oh, really?" she said, eyebrows shooting up. "What about Kaylie Cruz and Austin Tucker? I saw a picture of them kissing in a tabloid. What about Emily Kmetko? She got pregnant, didn't she, and you were going to let her go to Worlds if she ended the pregnancy."

"Kaylie and Austin's situation has been dealt with," Sasha lied, "and Emily is no longer a gymnast here."

"But she works for the NGO, which some might argue is the next best thing for a gymnast behind the Olympics. So really, she wasn't punished. Why should Nicky be treated differently? What we're saying is, if you say Nicky needs help, then the best way to get him that help is to find him a girlfriend. He did so well at Sundale while he was seeing that lovely model. He was so agreeable."

"Nicky wouldn't be treated differently, because there is _no dating at The Rock!_ And as I recall, if it weren't for that girl, Sundale never would've called the police!_" _

"Those policemen were imbeciles." Mr. Russo waved a hand dismissively. "I agree with my wife. Having Nicky and Payson Keeler together would be great for the media, and it would give Nicky the attention from the press that he needs to get on the Olympic Team. Also, when Nicky is in love, his gymnastics thrives."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I do not allow dating?" the angry coach growled.

"You could make an exception for Payson Keeler, though, couldn't you? She's one of the best women's gymnasts in the world, and she would be very good for Nicky. I did love the California girl, though," Mrs. Russo sighed. "She was so beautiful, but Keeler will do."

"I said no!"

"Unjustly," Mr. Russo shot back. "Go to any other gym in the country, and once we tell them all that our poor boy has been through, they'll let him date."

"I invite you to bring Nicky to those other gyms you speak of, then, although there are none! Not this close to the Olympics, they won't let him date, no matter what the circumstances!"

"But you _said_…"

"I said get out. GET OUT! I will not train Nicky! I won't!"

"You're being childish!"

"Out," Sasha growled, "now."

Once they had gone, Sasha sat at his desk, and took some aspirin.

That night, every time Sasha closed his eyes, all he could see was Payson's lips on Nicky's. He had been unfair. Really what he should've done was talked to Nicky without his parents to see how serious he really was, but the thought of him anywhere near his female athletes after his parents' foolish thought that if he found a girlfriend he would be back on the right track, Sasha couldn't imagine ever training him again. This was the type of drama he didn't put up with before. When the girls went to that keg party, had he tolerated it? When Carter Anderson was caught with a girl, hadn't Sasha suspended him? And when Carter came to the Russian Invitational to see Lauren, hadn't Sasha told him to go back to Denver where he belonged?

Yes, Sasha had done all those things. Sasha took no crap. Or at least, that's what he thought. Had Sasha gotten soft since he and Payson got together?

No, that was silly. Sasha had loved Payson far before this happened, and he never lost his strict authority, ever. To make himself feel better, he designed a brutal training schedule for all four of the girls for the following day, which included running, pull ups, vigorous exercises, and pilates.

Lots of pilates.

The girls were going to hate him.


	27. Training Fair

**AN: Who else is so excited for MIOBI season 3?**

"_I…am…going…to…kill…you…"_ huffed Payson as she began her 72nd pull up on the bars. Sasha just laughed. Kaylie glared from above him.

"Yes," Kelly agreed with a hoarse voice as she went down on her 67th. "I'll help."

"Brutal…murder," Lauren chimed in, "involving knives and stabbing." She was just starting her 59th.

"And after you finish we're going on a little run," Sasha practically giggled.

Kaylie raised her eyebrows. _"How little?" _she demanded, finishing her 65th and going up for another.

"Only a mile today," said Sasha a little remorsefully, "but maybe tomorrow we'll do two." Even though they were all short of breath, the groan rang throughout the gym.

"Sasha," Lauren whined. She had perfected the skill so that no matter what state she was in her whining was still effective, against her dad, at least. "We had a whole _day _of training today, and now after you kill us with pull ups, you want us to run a mile outside when it's freezing and _dark? This is child abuse!"_

"You turn eighteen next week," Sasha reminded her, "and I didn't expect this from you, especially because of how close the Trials are. You need to be serious!"

"Can't we be serious without being subjected to this _cruelty_?" Lauren pouted.

"What number are you on?" Sasha said, ignoring her.

"70," answered Lauren.

"80," Kelly huffed.

"90," Kaylie sighed.

"100," said Payson, hopping down and going to stand by Sasha, "done. And Sasha is right. The Trials are getting closer by the second, and we need to be in the best physical shape possible and eat as much protein and calcium as we can."

"Aren't you the one who threatened to kill me moments ago?" Sasha teased. She elbowed him in the ribs, hard.

"Yes, but only because I didn't have my eyes on the prize, and it'll never happen again. That medal is going to make it all worth it."

"Done," said Kaylie triumphantly, flopping down on the mat and sighing pleasantly.

"Don't rub it in," Lauren warned. "I'm only last because I am tirelessly fatigued from nailing my new beam dismount this afternoon."

"That was stellar," Payson said, "but you still should pick up the pace so we can go on the run."

"_You're looking forward to that?" _Kelly shrieked.

"I'm looking forward to the Olympics, and if that run will help me get there, then yes. I am _thrilled." _

"Finished," Kelly said, joining Kaylie who was lying down with her arms behind her head.

"Enjoy resting while you can," Sasha told them. "Five more, Lauren, you got it."

"Don't cheer me on, you don't deserve to!" Lauren snapped. She jumped down when she finished. "I'm still mad at you."

After the run, the girls were permitted to leave, and all did but Payson, who asked her friends not to wait up. "I just want to ask Sasha something about my vault," Payson explained. "My mom said she'd talk to him, and I want to know if it worked."

Lauren eyed her friend suspiciously. "Why couldn't you have done that earlier?"

Payson rolled her eyes. "You mean question his authority in front of my teammates?"

"Pay's right. Sasha would've thrown a fit. See you later." Kaylie rolled her shoulders. "Ow, that's going to be sore tomorrow." The three girls headed straight for Lauren's shiny Corvette. Payson watched them speed off, heard Kaylie shriek "Lo! Slow down!" before they disappeared completely. How would she have gotten through her back surgery without her friends? Sure, Lauren was a drama queen who didn't hesitate to hurt her friends in order to get to the top, but at the same time, Payson couldn't help but remember twelve year old Lauren, gorgeous, not a pimple or an imperfection in sight, hopping off the practice beam and greeting the new girl from Minnesota warmly, no edge to her voice. Lauren had been one of the first girls to notice her, one of the first friends she ever made in that scary new gym. It didn't hurt that she verbally castigated anybody who made fun of Payson's braces.

And then there was Kaylie, Lauren's best friend, who after hearing about Payson from Lauren invited them over for a sleepover, where they spied on her older brother, Leo, with binoculars. Payson recalled how excited they were when they all got into the same Gymnastics Camp, when they dragged Mrs. Cruz and Mrs. Keeler to the mall where they obsessively scoured the racks at the gymnastics store for new leotards. They picked out matching pink at Kaylie's suggestion. Since then Kaylie had been Payson's voice of reason, much like her thinking tree. Whenever she needed anything, Kaylie had been there to offer advice and distraction, often coaxing Payson to tell her what was wrong with arguments that the best lawyer in Colorado couldn't come up with.

And then there was Kelly, the girl who Payson had loathed for so long. Payson, Lauren, and Kaylie had plotted revenge on Kelly numerous times after every sarcastic comment, every taunt that she had threw at them. In a way, though, Payson had always respected Kelly. She was so talented, so smart, trilingual, and pretty. The media loved her, and she was Payson's main competition. Kelly had made her work harder, strive more to win, and she also made it so much more real to Payson, this dream that she had, and it humbled her. Now, as Kelly's friend, she felt they were a good match. Similar, but not in a way that made being friends hard, it just made it that much easier to find things to talk about and to find common ground with one another.

Shaking her head as if to free the nostalgia from her mind, Payson walked back in the gym where she found Sasha going through papers in his hands. "What you got there?" she asked.

Sasha looked up. "Oh, just a couple of letters from Nicky's parents recommending different medicines to improve my brain function. Well, that's these two. These are more angry, telling me that Nicky could find a better gymnastics coach at the South Pole, and these are desperate, telling me that I would be the happiest man alive if I got the opportunity to train their fine son for half an hour." Payson's eyes went wide.

"Wow," she said.

"I know," he answered, seeing the look on her face, he smiled. "Sorry for being so…psychotic with the training today, but the Trials are just so close and I want you to be ready."

"No, you don't have to explain anything to me, I get it. Actually, I appreciate it. I need to be completely focused. I've actually been meaning to talk to you about my vault. It needs to be a double Tsukahara. I will not do a single." Sasha sighed. Payson's eyes flared. "Sasha, I won't! I understand that it's risky, but I take risks every day by even being a gymnast in the first place after what happened to my back! And as for my skill level, if I'm not where I need to be, you will help me get there. Sasha, please."

He had been staring at his shoes, deep in thought, but he gave her a sideways glance and realized she would not give in. He considered it, and then slowly, he nodded. "We'll work on it tomorrow, six a.m. If you're a minute late, forget it, do you understand me, Payson Keeler?"

Her face broke out into a smile. "Yes, Sasha, I promise you, you will not regret it!" She flew into him and hugged him so tight he wheezed.

"Okay, okay, Payson, I'll need my lungs to be working in order for me to coach you." She stepped back, beaming.

"Thank you, Sasha."

"You're welcome. Now, I have a preposition of a different matter, a more personal one." Payson's eyes went from elated to more earnest. "I understand you have a birthday coming up."

Payson scoffed. "I haven't thought about it."

Sasha was surprised. "Really?" he asked.

"Well, I've had so many other things to think about, there's my vault, my floor, my beam, and my bars needs perfection, and I don't think I'm taking enough vitamins so I scheduled and appointment with my pharmacist to see what he recommends, and there's also the small little issue of Becca…"

"Becca's an issue?"

"Well, as of yesterday, every time I say a word to her she either rolls her eyes at me or completely ignores me altogether."

"Why, what happened?" he asked.

"I made the mistake of mentioning to her that we live in Colorado, and if she got the kind of highlights she was considering she'd look like a valley girl who got lost in her hot pink convertible," Payson told him, "which was a bit harsh, but you should've seen those before and after pictures she photo shopped! She'd never be taken seriously by anyone at this gym again! We're still not exactly close ever since I told her to take responsibility for her Max actions, but that was before I thought about it a little more and realized that my sister was the victim, and it's Max I should be screaming at! So, anyway, what were you saying about my birthday?"

Sasha laughed and shook his head. "You astonish me."

"What?" she asked.

"No, it's just, you are so…motherly. To everyone," he added. "I've never met any gymnast who acts so…professional at this stage in their career."

"I have to be professional. What else can I be?" demanded Payson.

Sasha's eyes met hers. "You could be a teenager. You could be a teenager who doesn't have to hesitate to hold hands with her boyfriend in public."

Payson scoffed. "You know that's not who I am."

Sasha supposed that was true. After all, the Payson he knew had always acted older, more mature, but not in an inappropriate or suggestive way. In fact, the old Payson, before breaking her back, wouldn't have believed it if you told her that she would have had a single setback. Never had a boyfriend, never had a job, never even considered going against the precepts that the Rock had established. Sasha knew she wasn't the type to be interested in the juvenile seventeen year old boys such as Carter Anderson, or Nicky Russo. "I know," he said. "You are very special, in more ways than one." Payson visibly flushed. Even with a mottled face she was stunning. Sasha wondered if all men in love thought about their partners the way he thought about Payson.

"So," he continued, "since you will be a legal adult in a month…"

"Six weeks," she corrected.

"Yes, of course I knew that," he said, a grin on his face, "I was thinking that we could have a little pre-birthday celebration."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You need to live the last days of your childhood...well…childishly," Sasha explained. With a Tasmanian devil-type smile on his face he held up two tickets. "When is the last time you've been to a carnival?"


	28. Carnival Puppies

Payson looked up, tilting her head back, and again wondered what could possibly be going through Sasha's mind. "Somehow, I never pictured me riding with you on a Ferris wheel before."

Sasha gave her one of his infamous half smiles. "Well, there's a first time for everything."

Payson smirked. "So, you're going to let me eat some cotton candy?"

Sasha considered it. "No."

"Oh, but I thought this was my pre-birthday celebration!"

"Yes, you're _pre-_birthday celebration. This is just for you to live out your last few moments of childhood. Therefore, no cotton candy for you, not this close to the Olympics Trials…"

Payson held up her hands in surrender. "Fine, whatever, can we just get on the ride?"

Sasha handed their tickets to the vender, a short, stocky man who had a round face and a top hat. His face was painted, like all the other carnival workers, but he was painted green to match the flower in his lapel of the full tuxedo he was wearing. In the unusually hot October day, the poor man looked miserable, sweat soaked through his suit jacket. "Enjoy your ride, your life, hell, whatever," he grumbled.

"His face makes him look like Oscar the grouch," Payson whispered to Sasha as they sat down in the little car. The wheel started turning.

"Maybe you can get your face painted," he whispered back. She poked him.

"Only if _you _do it…"

"No."

"_Sasha…" _

"No!"

"Come on, for the last days of my childhood, I deserve a little laugh, and if you painting your face is going to do it for me then isn't it your job as my chaperone and my entertainer to do whatever it takes to keep me happy? You do owe me, after all…"

"I didn't want you to pay for my ticket, but you insisted!" Sasha argued. "I wanted it to be my treat, but you said that since I came up with the idea, you should pay, and you are so persistent, and you made it impossible for me to refuse…"

"Still, you have a duty to keep me satisfied, and as I am still a minor and you are not and therefore you have responsibility over me…"

"Absolutely not," Sasha dismissed. "I am not painting my face. I'd look like a hooligan."

"Did you just say _hooligan?" _

"Maybe," Sasha sniffed. Payson laughed. Sasha brightened. "There, I made you laugh; now my job is done. I owe you nothing."

Payson raised her eyebrows. "I don't know…I did save you that night when Summer came over drunk…"

Sasha started. "I cannot believe you'd hold that over me! What would you have done in my position?" Payson shivered at the thought.

"Nevertheless, I _helped you out in a time of need…_wouldn't you do the same for me?"

"Payson, of course I would, but I am _not…" _

"Well, compared to what I did for you, painting your face is really a very small, insignificant little task…"

Half an hour later, Sasha looked like a puppy. "I hope you're happy," he grumbled.

Payson's smile was a mile wide. "Oh, trust me," she said, "I am."


End file.
